No Matter What
by NanMcCullen
Summary: What will happen when Edward Cullen, heir to the Cullen fortune meets lower middle class, scholarship recipient Bella Swan? Cross-over between Twilight and Love Story. All Human/AU. Rated M for language, adult themes, and later lemons. *ON HIATUS*
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Love Story, nor do I own any direct quotes from either. :sigh:**

Fully Summary: When Edward and Bella meet in college, sparks fly. He doesn't care that she's on scholarship and comes from a lower middle class family. She tries not to let his affluence intimidate her. Their relationship progresses and his family disinherits him, forcing them to start at rock bottom. What will happen when something goes tragically wrong? Will relationships be healed, or not? Loosely based on the 1970s movie, Love Story.

_**Prologue**_

EPOV

Where do I begin? What can you say about a twenty-one year old girl who died? That she was beautiful? That she was brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Debussy, the Beatles, and me? Or most importantly that she taught me the real meaning of love?

No matter what, I know that my heart and my soul will always belong to Isabella Swan. She is my life, whether she is here to accept that or not. What she taught me and what she left me with will always be my reason to go on. And she taught me so many things. She taught me what love is, real love. Not that superficial love that most people claim.

The second most important lesson I learned from Isabella Swan was the meaning of forgiveness. For forgiveness is divine. And I swore I would try, always try to made amends, because you never have forever. Even if I wished for an eternity, that was never possible. It brings that old saying to mind, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." That proverb always makes me think of my Bella, because even if I had to do it all over again, to lose her all over again, I would have rather had the short time we had than to never have had her at all.

So now, here I am, left behind to carry on without my reason for existence. But survive I will. After all, I made a promise. A promise I don't intend to break. No matter what.

* * *

**Author's Note:**So, what did you think? The story seems to be stuck in my head and I will continue it no matter what… but I'd like to gauge your reactions to it. Is there anything from either story that you feel absolutely NEEDS to be in this adaptation? For those of you who don't know Love Story, it's the ultimate in chick flicks and you need to go out right now, rent it, grab a box of tissues, then sit down and watch it.

**Author's Note 7/22/09:** So I now realize the difficulty I was going to have writing this out until they were 23. Or until she was. So I changed her age to 21. It fits better into the timeframe I've now worked up for this. Don't worry people... there _is _a method to my madness.


	2. Ivy League Swan

**Disclaimer: I still don't own either Twilight or Love Story, no matter how much I wish I did. But I do own this adaptation of the two combined.**

"_A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." ~ Lao Tzu_

_**Chapter One: Ivy League Swan**_

BPOV

"You know Bella, if I got a second job, I could help you with your tuition and such, and then you could focus on your studies."

"Charlie." I was beyond exasperated. We had been having the same conversation repeatedly, with slight variation, for months now. "I know you want to help, and really, I appreciate it. But I feel this is something I have to do on my own."

"You got the scholarship on your own, didn't you? You got straight A's on your own too. And who was that lovely brunette that was valedictorian again? Oh yes. That was you, and I believe you did that on your own as well. Not to mention getting accepted into Dartmouth, which you did…"

"On my own. Yes, yes. I get the point Charlie." I rolled my eyes. I couldn't help but smile at him though. After Renee died fifteen years ago, it had just been Charlie and me. He was all I had left. And I knew he was proud, after all I was his only child.

"Honey, I just don't want you to be too stressed out. I just want the best for you. And I am so damn proud of you kiddo. You'll be the first Swan to graduate from an Ivy League college. Actually, you'll be the first Swan to graduate from something more than community college. Won't you please let me help?"

"I know Charlie. And I understand, completely. I just feel like this is something that I have to do on my own. It's not that I don't appreciate you, please don't think that. I just…"

"I get it kiddo. You feel like it's time for you to grow up and leave this old man behind." He teased me like that constantly. Every time I did something to make him proud he accused me of wanting to leave him behind.

"Of course that's it, seeing as you're so old and decrepit." That made him laugh. It always did. "I love you Charlie and you've already done so much for me. But a job at the school library will hardly be like having a job at all. Can you imagine a library at a school like Dartmouth? I'll bet it's even better than the bookstore in Port Angeles!"

"What's all this talk about doing so much for you already? You're my daughter. I'd do anything for you." And I knew he would. Charlie was the absolute best.

"Good. Then it's settled. You'll sit back and let me enjoy my job." I sent him a smug smile, knowing I had backed him into a corner. I might be shy and bookish, but I could be pigheaded when I wanted to be, and this was the time for stubbornness.

"You aren't gonna change your mind are you?"

"Nope."

"Fine. Fine. I guess I'll just have to settle for letting you keep your damn job then," he was grumbling at me. A sure sign of defeat, and I smiled triumphantly. He really was the best. I kissed him on the top of his head, just because.

I really was lucky. Most men who found themselves widowed with a small female child would have panicked, and perhaps run out to find the first "mother" they could for their darling little girl. But Charlie hadn't done that. Charlie had committed himself to me with a vengeance. He never felt like he offered enough with his measly salary as the Forks Police Chief, but I didn't need much. All I needed was Charlie.

"Well, old man, I still have some packing to do. After all, I leave in just a few short days. And I need to pick up the U-Haul. We really needed to rent something to haul all that crap to New England. Man what a drive _that_ will be. You sure you're up for driving all that way with me? You know I can just turn the truck in up there." I went on, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Charlie wince. "What's up Charlie?"

"Um, yeah. About that U-Haul..." His cheeks tinged pink, like they did when he was nervous or embarrassed.

"What about it? I really have to get going here soon, so can we get a move on? I have to be there by 9."

"Actually, no… you don't."

"What do you mean?" My eyes widened in horror. "What did you do Charlie?"

"Don't get mad Bells. Just come with me outside for a minute, please?" He looked so torn, and I hated to put that look on his face. So, I reluctantly followed him out of the kitchen. I was suddenly very nervous as to what I would find outside, but Charlie beamed at me and I knew that it didn't matter. Whatever it was, if it put a smile on Charlie's face, it was worth it.

"So come on already." I poked him in the side, making him jump. I laughed, just like I did every time that happened. "Twitchy much?" I was still giggling a little when he shot me a look over his shoulder.

"Not funny, Isabella." Uh-oh. He used my real name.

"Awww. Come on, _Charles_." He rolled his eyes and I laughed again. I knew he wasn't really mad, but I couldn't help myself. "You know it was. And was it really necessary to call me Isabella? I mean seriously, all I did was poke you. It's not my fault you're ticklish." I went to poke him again, but he grabbed my hand.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. See if I ever do you a favor again…" he was muttering under his breath, dragging me forward.

"What was that Charles? I couldn't quite hear you."

"Are you done yet?" He was trying so hard to fight back a smile.

I widened my eyes again, this time in mock horror. "Why, of course Charles. You see, _I_ am the epitome of maturity. I am, after all, enrolled in Dartmouth. It certainly wouldn't do to have a sense of humor at an Ivy League college." Finally he broke into laughter. A big booming laugh that I knew immediately I would miss.

"Yeah, like you could ever get rid of that smart mouth." He shook his head at me, causing me to chuckle. "Now come on. I have something to show you." He dragged my down the short hallway and out of the front door.

I gasped. I couldn't help myself. I wasn't sure what I had been trying to prepare myself for, but it most certainly wasn't this. "What… where… who…" I can't believe I had been reduced to incoherent babbles and stuttering. There, sitting in the driveway, was the ugliest truck I had seen in my entire existence.

"Do you like it?"

It was ugly. Hideous really, but that's what gave it personality. This truck had style. Perhaps it was _bad_ style, but it was perfect. "What is it?"

"It's a truck Bells."

"Talk about a smart mouth," I muttered under my breath. "I see that Charlie. What I meant was, what is it for?"

"Well… you didn't think I would actually leave you stranded in New Hampshire with no transportation did you?"

"You mean it's for me?"

"Well, yeah. I bought it off Billy Black down at the reservation. Jake gave it a full tune-up before they dropped it off. It runs great." That was possibly the only positive thing that could be said about the truck. It was big, and old, probably older than I am. It was an orangey red, or reddish orange, you couldn't really tell. It was bulbous and rusted. "I know it's ugly…" he trailed off, not knowing how to take my reaction.

"You mean hideous. It's fantastic, I love it! Thank you Charlie." I jumped on his back causing him to stumble slightly. "Come on old man; let's take it for a spin!"

* * *

Charlie and I drove that truck around for what seemed like hours, laughing and talking the whole time. It was times like these that I knew I would miss. For so many years, Charlie and I had leaned on one another, and we were extremely close. While I did have friends in school, I never really felt like I had fit in. Maybe it was because I had to grow up so much sooner than all of the girls in my class, but losing my mother so young probably contributed to that. Without another woman in the house, it fell upon me to take care of the "womanly duties" like cooking and cleaning. But I didn't mind. In fact, I loved taking care of Charlie. It made me feel useful and like I was paying him back for devoting so much of his life to me. I was worried about what would happen to him once I was away at college, but I couldn't stick around forever. I had to leave the nest at some point.

I hoped that at some point Charlie would move on with his life. I knew that he was interested in Sue Clearwater. She was a widow from La Push, so they had something in common there. Plus, Sue liked to care for Charlie when I wasn't able to. It wasn't uncommon for him to stop in at the Clearwater residence for dinner after fishing with Billy, or if I had to study and he didn't want to pull me away to cook for him. While on one hand I didn't want to share my dad, at the same time I knew that I couldn't expect him to sit around waiting for me while I was gone. Who knew if I was even going to come back to Forks after graduating from Dartmouth. Statistically speaking, students are more likely to return to their hometown during the summer after their graduation, but what was the likelihood of me finding a job in Forks with a degree in English? Slim, really, but time would tell.

All I knew was that in a few days time I would be leaving to begin a new chapter in my life. This was the step I had been waiting for, my chance to show Charlie all I was capable of, and my chance to make him proud. I smiled to myself thinking back on Charlie's words from earlier. _You'll be the first Swan to graduate from an Ivy League college. Actually, you'll be the first Swan to graduate from something more than community college. _And I would. I would make Charlie prouder than he had ever been of me. In a few days time I wouldn't be Bella Swan, small town girl. No, in a few days time I would be Ivy League Swan. With that thought, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So that's it for chapter one. Next chapter will be Edward's point of view and his preparation for college. Please remember to review. After all, reviews make me smile.


	3. The Cullen Heir

**Disclaimer: No matter how much I wish I owned rights to either Twilight or Love Story, the sad reality is that I do not.**

"_Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing." ~Voltaire_

_**Chapter Two: The Cullen Heir**_

"I have to go home, man. Esme has some big bon voyage dinner planned for me. Like I'm the first person to go to college… Christ I feel so smothered by her sometimes." I really didn't want to go home to some huge send-off dinner. What I'd rather do is spend some time hanging out with my friends. It didn't matter that they were going to college with me, or that we were all rooming together. What mattered was that this was where I wanted to be, not spending time with Esme hovering and Carlisle glowering.

"So skip out. What's the worst that can happen? So you'll get another 'lecture' from Carlisle, but so what. Live your life." Emmett was always so free-wheeling. He didn't have a fucking care in the world. Sometimes it irritated the hell out of me.

"Yeah, right. That's the last thing I want to deal with before we leave tomorrow. Brilliant plan, asshole." Even though it _did_ seem like a much better plan than leaving.

"Awww, come on Eddie. Look at it this way, you take the lecture now and you won't have to talk to him for months. It's not like he can drive to school every day just to piss you off." He really was an annoying dick. I sometimes wondered why in the hell he was my friend.

"First of all, my name is Edward, not Eddie. Remember it, dick. Secondly, you aren't the one that's going to have to face Carlisle's wrath. He's already pretty pissed off that I don't want to be a doctor and save the world. 'I had always planned for my son to follow in my footsteps. You're entire life has been planned on you becoming a doctor and joining me at the hospital.' Doesn't matter to him that being a doctor isn't what _I_ want to do." This wasn't a new argument. It was one we'd been having frequently over the past year and a half.

"Haven't you ever found it ironic that as a doctor, Carlisle has never noticed the emptiness you feel when he pressures you about medical school? Shouldn't he be familiar with the signs of depression, angst, and disconnection you feel at home?" Leave it to Jasper to get down to the bottom of it in analytical terms.

"You would think," I sneered. "He'll probably corner me again anyway, just to make sure I understand the importance of honoring the family tradition and blah, blah, blah. After all, I _am_ the heir to the Cullen legacy." The McCarty's and the Whitlock's were also well known Chicago families, and Emmett and Jasper faced the same parental expectations that I did. The only difference was that Emmett _wanted_ to go into the family business. Jasper was like-wise with becoming a psychiatrist. They didn't have the same pressures at home or the fear of making their parents ashamed.

"Well, since you're more than likely to have that discussion at least one more time before you leave tomorrow, no matter what the circumstances, why not stick around." That decided it for me. Carlisle could kiss my ass. I was hanging out with my friends, tossing back a few beers, and watching the damn game. Dinner could wait.

* * *

I slowly made my way back to our home in the Gold Coast area of Near North Side, Chicago. I felt better, slightly. Shooting the shit with the guys was always a good way to chase away the fog. The tension at home was nearly unbearable these days. Esme tried her hardest to smooth things over by hovering. She had packed my belongings, arranged for shipping of everything she deemed necessary, prepared my carry-on and luggage for the plane trip, and was now trying to calm me with a home-cooked meal. Sometimes I felt bad for avoiding her or ignoring her. Not nearly as much lately as I had many months ago. She knew I didn't want to be a doctor, she knew my passion was music. But that never stopped her from allowing Carlisle to pressure me and corner me constantly. It never stopped her from sitting by idly while I was berated and bullied by the man that was supposed to be my father. It made it clear to me that I was not very high on her list. Honoring her husband and making him happy seemed much more important to her. No, Esme didn't deserve my graciousness or forgiveness.

As for Carlisle, I didn't care about him anymore either. Societal standing was all he had cared about, ever. Esme was a beautiful arm-piece for him and he expected me to be an obedient and loyal son. Something I had absolutely no interest in being. Instead of being an individual, I was expected to quietly follow in my father's footsteps as he had followed his father, and so on down the Cullen line. In the medical field, the Cullen name was spoken with reverence, and that gave Carlisle much pleasure. He enjoyed being somewhat of a celebrity, in his own right. His name was known worldwide, and he had planned for his only son and heir to be right there with him. Fuck that.

"I see you've finally decided to grace us with your presence." I had hoped on sneaking in the house and avoiding a big scene, but it seems Carlisle had other plans.

"Did I miss an appointment, _Father_?" I spat the word out like an obscenity, hoping he would catch the derision and hatred in those two syllables.

"Your mother planned a family meal for us this evening. One that I am positive you were aware of. Not to mention, one that I cleared my busy schedule for, at her request." I guess I should have felt privileged, or honored. Instead I laughed.

"I guess that told me. Forgive me, I didn't feel like putting on the pretenses of a loving and caring family, even if it was for only one night."

"You should learn to respect your elders, son. It would do you good in medical school. The Cullen name alone will not overshadow your poor manners."

"My poor manners? What have you ever cared about my manners, much less my life?"

"I care very much about your life, Edward. There is nothing I want more than for you to succeed and graduate at the top of your class."

"So I can follow _your_ dream."

"I refuse to have this argument with you again. The subject is closed."

"So you figure you can just say that, and my future will be set in stone. You seem to have forgotten free will." Free will was a phrase tossed around in my house regularly. Just as familial obligations, tradition, and succession were. It was really very tiresome.

"I figure that as the person paying for your tuition I have a great deal of say-so in your education. Try that one on for size." With that he sailed out of the room.

Money was held like an axe over my head. I didn't come into my inheritance until my 21st birthday, which unfortunately wasn't for a couple more years. I had only turned 19 this June, right after graduation. Sometimes I wondered if the inheritances were set up that way intentionally. How else could a parent force your hand more effectively than limiting your options until nearly half of your education was already complete? By then, the University of Chicago Medical Center would already be preparing for the addition of another Cullen. Carlisle had already decided that I would get my medical degree from Dartmouth and then complete my residency with him in Chicago.

I stalked up to my room, hoping to just escape into sleep. _Only fourteen more hours until my flight._ I ticked the seconds off in my mind, willing them to hurry. I barely contained my growl of frustration when I found Esme once again going through my room, trying to make sure everything was set.

"Esme? Is there something I can help you with? If not, I'd really just like to get some sleep before tomorrow." I sincerely hoped she'd go. My patience with my parents was running thin at the moment.

"Oh Edward." She came running at me and threw her arms around my neck. "I was so worried when you didn't show up for dinner." She was checking over me, like you would a small child, for any bumps or bruises. "I tried calling your cell phone, but I couldn't get in touch with you. I'm so happy you're alright." I had purposely shut my phone off because I didn't want to talk to them. I didn't want to be bothered. I just wanted to live my life, damnit!

"As you can see, I'm fine. Now if you're done, I'd really like to get some rest." I knew I was terse, but I didn't feel like dealing with her motherly theatrics at the moment.

"Of course, baby. Are you hungry? I can heat something up for you and bring a plate before you go to sleep." She was still hovering. In my mind, I knew she was already suffering from "empty nest syndrome" but I couldn't dredge up enough energy to care. Instead, I rolled my eyes at her.

"No. I ate already. I just want you to go so I can sleep." I figured maybe if I gave short, curt answers she'd leave sooner. She looked slightly taken aback at my tone, and hurt flashed in her eyes briefly before it was gone again.

"Okay, dear. If that's what you want. Please remember to be dressed and ready for church in the morning." She walked over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'd like to go to church with my baby one last time. Good night, dear."

I didn't want to go to church. I didn't want to act like we were the happy family attending Sunday Mass at Old St. Pat's, but I knew I wouldn't get out of it after skipping dinner tonight. So I'd go to church with my parents, pretend once more to be the typical American family, fulfill that last obligation and then be on my way to school. It was expected to be seen at Mass on Sundays, after all. That's what respectable Irish-American families did, and Carlisle would have no less than being seen as respectable and moral. Any less would be seen as a blemish on the family name and honor. Cullens were Irish-American Catholic doctors and that was final. I shook my head at the absurdity of it all.

Knowing there was no way I was going to be able to sleep just yet, I made my way down to the music room. This was the only other room in the house that felt like mine. Sure, I made good use of the library, but that was my father's domain. When Carlisle wanted to relax, he would pour himself a glass of port, sit back, and read a book. If I wanted to avoid him, I had to find somewhere else to occupy my time. As a child, I had taken to the piano like a prodigy, so my place was wherever my piano was. The only thing I wasn't looking forward to about going away to college was leaving behind my Steinway. I had grown amazingly attached to it, which was ironic considering how much I had hated lessons initially. But it was the only acceptable instrument for a Cullen male to play, so I was enrolled at the tender age of three. Now, I played for pleasure. I even wrote music, but that went undetected, or unnoticed, by either of my parents.

I sat down and ran my fingers over the keys. Yes, I would miss my piano. Slowly I began to play, letting the music wash over me, calming the savage beast inside that roared in agonized fury. This was what I wanted to be doing, where I belonged. Music was what I had dreamed of my entire life. I started slowly, with Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. It was dreary and somewhat dark, perfectly matching my mood. That flowed directly into Love Story, which was both tragic and moving. Those compositions were two of my favorites by Beethoven. From there I moved on to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, reveling in the drama the music created. Chopin's Nocturne for Violin and Piano flowed out of my soul and through my fingers, caressing my skin like a lover's touch. Here, in this room, with my piano was the only place I felt at peace. Not whole, there was something else I was missing in my life, but at least here I felt content. Lastly, I played Clair de Lune. Debussy was my favorite composer, by far. Each piece had the ability to tap into such a wide variety of emotions. Sadness, grief, joy, hope, and so many more were all at my mercy when I played.

After what must have been hours, I was finally calm. Calm enough at least to rest before the curtains went up tomorrow. I would go to church, please my parents, and get on my flight. But even the idea of being miles away from my parents didn't seem to ease my spirit. For even at Dartmouth I would be under Carlisle's thumb. I would have to leave behind my love, my music, and I would be forced to endure. My dreams were shattered and my heart was grieving, but I would survive. That was, after all, what was expected of me. What was projected for me. What was anticipated of me. I couldn't escape it, the one thing that was going to make my life a living hell. Dartmouth was going to be my very own stylish and prestigious prison. Sentencing began once I stepped foot on campus. It seemed unfair that my only crime was being the Cullen heir.

* * *

Author's Note: I am so sorry that it took me so long to get this out to you. But with the extended weekend, and kids out of school it was difficult to find time to just sit down and write. Not to mention, this chapter was hard for me as I'm not used to seeing Carlisle as an overpowering, helicopter parent. Edward wasn't a piece of cake to write either. That tragic outlook that he's doomed to face the future destiny has bestowed on him was simple, because that's so Edward. But it was hard to write him as such an ass. Please let me know what you thought via PM or review. Tell me if this seems at all realistic too, because I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible.

Much Love,

Nan


	4. Teary Goodbyes, Falling,& Righteous Fury

**Disclaimer: Never have owned Twilight, never will. Same goes for Love Story. Remember it.**

"_True friends stab you in the front." ~ Oscar Wilde_

_**Chapter Three: Teary Goodbyes, Falling, and Righteous Fury**_

**BPOV**

Charlie had still insisted on driving with me, but it was a nice to spend so much time with him before we were separated, especially since it had been such a long drive. Going across the top of the US took a great deal of time, but it was nice to see how diverse the landscapes were. We went from Washington to Idaho, into Montana, then Wyoming, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois. Man it was a long trip. From there it was on to Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, into Vermont, and finally, yes finally to New Hampshire. That's a lot of scenery to take in on one trip. Charlie decided he would just fly home to Forks from here. Everything was set in place. He would help me unpack, we'd grab a bite to eat, and then he'd fly home and have Sue pick him up at the airport. Simple, right? This was going to be easier than I thought. Then I saw the sign: Welcome to Dartmouth.

I wasn't sure what to feel when we pulled onto campus. I was used to the green. You can't live in Forks, Washington and not get used to how green everything was. I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was the gut-wrenching fear that overwhelmed me when we got there. Suddenly I didn't _want_ to be here. I didn't want to be some 3000 miles away from Charlie. I didn't know anyone here. What if I didn't like them? Oh God, what if they didn't like _me_? What the hell was I thinking? Everywhere we looked were families going about the actions of getting their children settled in. But it wasn't anything like back home. These _children_ were all beautiful and rich. Nothing like me. I was only here because of some stupid scholarship. I didn't fit in with these people.

Ivy League Swan? Who the hell was I kidding? I was never going to be anything more than some small-town girl from East Bumfuck, Nowhere. My little pep talk I had given myself before leaving seemed silly now. Loneliness threatened to engulf me. Charlie was just going to _leave_ me here. With these… these… Stepford Children! The bastard. I thought he loved me! Now I come to find out that he'd willingly dump his daughter, states and states away, with no one. He was leaving me alone.

We pulled up to Russell Sage Hall. This was going to be my dorm. My own personal hell. Up there, on the fourth floor, in room 408 I was going to be trapped. And since I was just the kind of lucky girl that only I can be, I had copped a triple room. Yeah, triple... meaning three people in one room. So not only was I the poor kid, I was the poor kid that had to deal with _two_ new roommates. God didn't like me enough to have me deal with meeting only one new person at a time… he had to throw me with two of them. _Aren't I just the lucky one?_ My dark thoughts consumed me as I looked around. Of course I had pulled my old beater of a truck right into a spot next to a shiny, silver Volvo. The differences were staggering. I felt sick to my stomach. I was truly afraid.

Charlie must have been lost in his own thoughts because we hadn't spoken since we got here. We stepped out of the truck and quietly started unpacking. I already had my key, so it was just a matter of lugging everything up there. It really wasn't a lot to start with, so it would only take a couple trips. I grabbed my suitcase and my duffel bag and started inside. Taking the steps all the way to the fourth floor might prove to be hazardous for me, but what could I do about it now? I walked up and rounded the corner, looking for room 408. It was at the end of the hallway, with a blind corner. I was surely going to make an ass out of myself at some point or another. I trudged down the hall slowly, wary of what I was going to find once I got there. Fortunately for me, it was empty, but it looked like I was the last of the three of us to arrive. Two beds were already claimed, as well as most of the closet space, but I didn't mind. I didn't have many clothes and a bed was a bed, to me. When Charlie and I had finished unloading the truck, my roommates still hadn't arrived. We decided to head somewhere to get food since his flight was in a couple hours.

"You gonna be okay here, Bells?" Charlie looked so sad and I immediately felt bad for the horrible thoughts I had earlier. He wasn't really a bastard. But I was still scared.

"Of course, Charlie, I'll be great!" Sure it was fake enthusiasm, but I didn't want him to know just how frightened I really was.

"You sure?" He was starting to worry me. If he kept asking me that, I might just jump in his arms and beg him to take me back home.

"What is it?" I had to keep it cool. If I didn't pull this off, Charlie would be miserable, and it wasn't necessary for us both to feel that way.

"It's just…" There was a long pause.

"It's just what?" Still he hadn't said anything; he just continued to stare at the same checkered tablecloth in front of him. For a minute, I didn't think he was going to say anything, but…

"It's just that I'm gonna miss you." It was whispered, but I could hear the emotion behind it. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and desperately tried to blink them away.

"I'll miss you too." My voice broke, causing me to stop. Fresh tears started and tracked down my face before I could wipe them away. Aw hell, if he kept this up I was going to be sobbing soon.

"I know you have to grow up, Bells. And I know that you need to spread your wings and fly, but damn if I don't miss my little girl." Yep. Here came the waterworks, but Charlie kept going, like if he didn't say it now he wouldn't be able to get it out. "A part of me will always be looking out the window for my baby girl with the scraped up knees. Then again, you came home with scraped up knees last week." Watery laughter broke through the sobs.

"Ha, ha Charlie." I was still sniffling and tears were still streaming down my face. "It's not my fault that dog's leash got wrapped up around my ankles. If that lady had been watching where she was going I would have made it home unscathed."

"But would have made it through the rest of the day?" I reached over and smacked his arm playfully.

"Not funny old man."

"And here I thought it was." He was still chuckling softly. Damn, I was going to miss Charlie.

"Nope. Not a bit." I stuck my tongue out at him.

The rest of the evening passed quietly, Charlie and I shared a few more memories before it was time to head to the airport. He made arrangements for a cab to pick him up and I sat with him until it was time for him to go. I told myself I wouldn't do this to him, but as he was climbing into the cab I ran at him full force, throwing my arms around his neck while fresh tears fell. "I'm going to miss you so much, Daddy."

If Charlie was alarmed by my reaction, he didn't let on that he was. He just wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, "I'll miss you too, baby." He pulled back and kissed my forehead. "But it's time for you to go and make me proud. I love you, Isabella. Always have, always will. Renee would be so proud of you if she were still here." I could hear the tears in his voice, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him again. I knew I would see grief and heartache. Just as I knew that part of him felt like he was losing me like he had lost her. "She would have been _so_ proud. My little Bella, it's your time." And with that, he climbed into the back of the cab and was whisked away.

"Bye Daddy." I whispered quietly to the retreating taillights. Now I really was alone. I walked back to my car slowly, not really wanting to go back and face whatever was waiting for me back at my dorm, but I didn't know where anything was, so I didn't have any other option.

I pulled back into the lot and parked in that same spot, right next to the Volvo. As I got out, I admired the car's sleek sexiness. _That's some car._ I thought to myself. I walked back into the building and made my way up the staircase, not really paying attention to my surroundings, which is always dangerous for me. I was thinking about Charlie and how I was going to get through this ordeal. I still felt overwhelmed and was certain I wasn't going to fit in. But after everything tonight with Charlie, I felt that I had to at least give it a shot. I'd do it for Charlie, and Renee.

As I was rounding the corner on a landing, contemplating where life had brought me, I ran smack into a solid wall of flesh. "Ooomph!" I teetered for a minute before falling on my butt, tripping the guy I had run into. I felt the heat as the blush raced across my face. He had landed across my body and was trying not to put all of his weight on me.

"What the hell?" I felt the same way. I knew better than to daydream while I was on stairs. Or walking. It was completely my fault.

"My bad," I replied quietly. "I am so sor…" I trailed off as I gazed into a pair of dazzling green eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" He sounded a little panicked and I wondered if I was drooling or something.

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, s-sure. I… I'm f-fine." Oh. My. God. Now I was stuttering. Could my day get any worse?

He shook his head at me in disgust. "Jesus Christ. Just watch where you're going, okay?" He shoved himself up and held out a hand for me. I slowly put my hand in his as he none to gently pulled me to my feet. I felt a tingle in my hand and pulled it away quickly once I was up. "Next time you're rounding the corner, you might want to try checking your blind spots before you come barreling around." He chuckled a little, but I wasn't sure if he was laughing at me or the situation. I decided to just brush it off. Well, try to at least.

"Yeah sure… of course. Um… well, I'm really sorry. Again. You know." My heart was racing. Why didn't I just stop talking? My brain was _thinking_ to stop, but my mouth wasn't getting the message. It just kept yapping away, like there was some sort of short circuit. "Hmm… I think… know I need to, umm… I have to go."

He just had a smirk on his face. I turned and ran full speed up the rest of the stairs and onto my floor. I was tearing down the hall at a furious pace, only stumbling once or twice before I pulled up short right in front of my door. I could hear voices on the other side, so I stopped to compose myself before using my key. But before I could even get the key in the hole, one of the voices caught my attention.

"I mean seriously, Alice. Just _look_ at her luggage. Can you believe they actually roomed us with some poor nobody from Bumfuck." My earlier thoughts haunted me, but when she said it I didn't feel fear and apprehension. No, when I heard whoever the hell was on the other side of the door, I was filled with righteous anger. Who in the hell did she think she was?

"Oh come on Rosalie! This is going to be so much fun. I just know it!" The other voice didn't seem so bad, but it was still frightening, for some unknown reason. I could practically hear its owner bouncing around the room.

"Fun?! You think some charity case is going to know how to have fun?" She snorted there. Actually, she laughed a melodious and menacing laugh, but I'd rather she had snorted. "I'll just bet she's some overweight, bookish little nerd who wears big horn rims and wouldn't know fun if it came and shook his package right under her nose." I was beyond fury. I was beginning to think I was actually seeing red. Charity case? Well, I'd show her that I wasn't some fucking charity case. I belonged here. I didn't get here because my daddy donated a new wing to the school. No, I was here because I had a 4. fucking 0 GPA my entire life. I worked my ass off for that scholarship and damn if I didn't deserve it.

"Rosalie! Don't be so crass. You just wait, you'll see. We'll all be great friends!" Over my dead body.

"Whatever Alice. I wouldn't bet on it. And I wouldn't hold my breath either." Wow. She really was a bitch. I decided to finally make my presence known before I barged in there and choked the bitch for all it was worth. I swung the door open and immediately knew which one was the bitch. She was tall. And built. Like a goddess.

"Can we help you?" She sneered at me. Like I was nobody. Or nothing. I just shot her one hard look before strolling across the room and opening my suitcase.

"Nope. I think I have everything under control." I started putting my clothes away and tried to ignore her. The other one, who was a surprisingly small girl with spiky black hair, came bouncing (_I knew it!_) over to me. She was squealing with excitement and I had to fight the urge to slap my hands over my ears.

"Oh goody! You're our roommate. My name is Mary Alice Brandon, but everyone calls me Alice." She was still bouncing on her toes. I was impressed, considering she was wearing some snazzy black boots with a spiked heel. She looked sharp.

"Isabella Swan. But please call me Bella." I held my hand out to shake her, but she launched herself at me and pulled me into an amazingly strong hug.

"We're going to be such great friends!" I guess she didn't know I had already heard this speech, and to be honest, I wasn't really that interested in hearing it again at the moment. Especially since Blondie was still shooting daggers at me with her eyes.

"I'm not so sure about that Alice." I gestured towards the bitch with a nod of my head. "Doesn't look like your _friend_ is too interested in being friends with the likes of me." I made sure to sneer the word at her, hoping she knew I wasn't _thinking_ friend when I said it.

"Oh don't mind Rosalie. She's just a bitch." She continued bouncing around me while a snort escaped my lips. Blondie whirled around to me and snarled. Fire burned in her baby blue eyes.

"Excuse me?" I wasn't sure why she was addressing me since I wasn't the one that had made the comment, but I assumed she was trying to flaunt her place. Time to knock her down a few notches.

I swaggered over and stood directly in front of her. "You have a problem with me, Barbie?" Her fists curled and I was sure she wanted to use them on me.

"I'm just not interested in being friends with some piece of trash hood rat."

"Aw. You don't want to be my friend?" I pushed my lips into a mock pout, immediately enraging her further. "That's okay. I don't want to be your friend either. So you can take your opinion, and your problem, and shove them up your ass as far as I'm concerned, because I didn't come here to make friends. I came here for an education and a degree. And you know what? I. Don't. Need. You." I made sure to space out the words carefully, just to make sure I was crystal clear. A bubble of laughter behind me broke my concentration.

"Rosalie! You should see your face!" More hysterical laughter poured out from Alice. "I don't think anyone has ever had the nerve to put you in your place so succinctly. Or as effectively…" She was still laughing when Rosalie stomped across the room and flung herself very dramatically into a chair. Then she turned to me and something flickered in her eyes before resting on the shirt I had been holding in my hand. "Bella, what is that you're holding?" I looked down dumbly, trying to gather my wits.

"Um… a shirt?" Why was I questioning it?

"Oh no. This won't do." She was shaking her head and going through my things like there was something seriously wrong.

"Alice, what are you doing?"

"Bella, I can't let you wear these clothes! I mean, seriously, they're off the rack!" She said it like it was a crime. I was suddenly very scared, but in an entirely different way than I had been before.

"What do you mean? These are my clothes."

"No. Or they won't be for long." Then she squealed again and this time I didn't suppress the urge. I immediately slapped my hands over my ears to block the noise. "Oh my God, Rosalie! Do you know what this means?" The blonde looked over at Alice with a bored expression and rolled her eyes. "Shopping! I have a blank canvas to work with!" I felt all the blood drain from my face all at once. _No, please! Anything but… _

Of course I had to get a roommate that loved shopping. I guess I really was in hell after all.

* * *

Author's Note: So here's chapter 3. Bella finally met her roommates, and Edward, though she doesn't know who he is yet. Sorry I had to make her a blubbering idiot the first time she met him. But in my mind, that's exactly what Edward would do to a woman. At least he'd sure as hell do that to me! (:

I really liked this chapter. From the anger towards Charlie, to the touching farewell (which brought tears to my eyes), to the confrontation with Rose. Man, that Bella has some spine! The next chapter will be all Edward's PoV. Please review!

XOXO,

Nan

PS – I don't know if there really is a sign that says "Welcome to Dartmouth" but we're all just going to pretend there was, right? LOL


	5. Arrivals and Conquests

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still nothing.**

"_A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg, even though he knows that you're slightly cracked." ~Bernard Meltzer_

_**Chapter Four: Arrivals and Conquests**_

**EPOV**

I got off the plane, and sure enough, my car was waiting there at the airport for me. If nothing else, Esme was the epitome of thoroughness and practicality. Not that I would thank her for it or anything. But it was nice to have my Volvo waiting for me. Nicer yet was the fact that neither of my parents were coming with me to help me settle in. I had made it abundantly clear that I would be fine on my own and didn't require any assistance from either of them. Truth be told, I didn't want to have either of them hovering over me any longer than necessary. Church had been excruciating to say the least. Esme was near tears the entire service and hardly made it through. It was a disgusting display of her lack of control over her emotions. She fawned over me the entire time, making me feel suffocated and smothered. Then there was brunch. I won't even go into detail about what a horrendous experience _that_ was. Needless to say, I sat there stoically during the entire meal and did my best to present the illusion of calm. I was proud of myself. I only snapped at Esme once, which of course brought on more waterworks and more dirty looks from Carlisle. But I was through caring about what he thought.

The hardest time was the hour between brunch and our departure to the airport. I made my way back up to the music room, trying to escape them, but of course Esme followed me claiming to want to hear me play one last time before I left. I had to shake my head at the memory of her sitting there with her eyes brimming with tears. She had used that phrase on me constantly throughout the morning. One last time for this and one last time for that, I was tempted to tell her she should have it tattooed on her forehead, but that would have caused an argument that I wanted to avoid. So I just took it in stride. At least now I was free of their ever present desire to dominate me. Now I was finally alone. Free at last, free at last. I chuckled to myself darkly and pondered how appropriate that speech felt to me at the moment. I was free of Carlisle's tyranny and free of Esme's useless mothering. Even though I would be a prisoner at Dartmouth, at least I would be on my own. Well, I would have my friends, but I wouldn't have Esme and Carlisle, and that was what really mattered.

I made my way through the New England countryside, not taking any time to appreciate the scenery that lay before me. I just wanted to get to my room. At least I wouldn't have to worry about unloading the car or anything. Esme had arranged to have movers take care of all of that for me. All I had to do was show up. It saved me trouble, but whatever. I wanted to get to the school quickly and stake a claim in our room before Jasper and Emmett arrived. We would be rooming in Russell Sage Hall, room 412. The only consolation I could see was that it was a co-ed dorm. Not the rooms of course, because none of the hoity-toity parents wanted their precious children to have the temptation of the opposite sex to distract them _in_ their dorm room, but the floors were co-ed. Maybe I'd find myself a pleasant distraction in the meantime. Maybe I'd get lucky and find some young nubile girl to deflower. The idea had its merit. I'd have to discuss the plan with the boys. Perhaps we could even place a wager on it. Ten points for every girl we bagged, fifty if she was a virgin. Not that there would be an overabundance of virgins at college, especially not with this crowd. All their money and clout couldn't protect their young debutantes from the lure of carnal pleasure. And most of those young debutantes had made their rounds long before their coming-out. But those aristocrats were so clueless about their daughters' lack of virtue. No, they were too busy discussing the latest trends in the stock market or political strategy to worry about promiscuity. Lucky for me, shame for them. But I'd be a fool to claim that I hadn't used those facts to my advantage. Plenty.

I pulled into the parking lot and looked around. I didn't see Emmett's beloved Jeep anywhere. Good. That meant Jasper and Emmett didn't beat me here. It also meant that I'd be the first to check out the lay of the land and also check out the lovely women we would set to seduce first. I would claim first dibs, and there was nothing they could do. My spirits were soaring by the time I made it to my room. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all. The room was nice, but that was to be expected here. Everything was already unpacked, and the only thing I had to do was pick my bed and make it up. I stood back with my hand to my chin and examined each bed. I walked around the room, checking each one from different angles. I had to make sure that the bed I picked was just right for me. The one up against the window was tempting, if only for the view alone, but then I had to consider that the early morning light might bother me. The one closest to the door was my next consideration, but that meant anytime someone came and went into the room I would be disturbed. That only left the one against the far wall. It was far enough from the window that I wouldn't be woken by the morning sun, and far enough from the door that I could easily ignore any comings and goings. Happy to have made my decision, I took my linens and quickly made the bed. Neither of the guys would be pleased with the other two options, but it wasn't my fault they had chosen the later flight. They would be here in a few hours, so I had a breather before chaos ensued.

Since I had free time before they arrived, I decided to check out the campus some in the meantime. The changing leaves didn't even catch my notice. If they had, I might have taken the time to appreciate the beauty of the scene they created. Well manicured lawns were ignored as well as the aesthetic beauty of the campus. Those things were beneath my notice. What I _did_ notice were the girls. I strolled around campus making a mental note on which girl I'd try my luck with first. And there was such a wonderful selection to choose from, each one different and glorious in her own right. Their legs were showcased nicely in little summer shorts, their cheeks flushed from excitement, their curvy bodies silhouetted in the afternoon sun, and their lips all pouting in such a magnificent way. It seemed that this year's freshman class was a superb representation of the female form. As far as I could see, the only downside was going to be which of them to pick first. Pleased with myself and my discovery I made my way back to my dorm. When I walked up, I was shocked and appalled to find a rusted bucket of a truck sitting next to my Volvo. I sneered in disgust and immediately checked my car over for any dings or scratches to the exterior. A vehicle like that didn't belong on this campus. It was an atrocity that should be put out of its misery. It was obvious that the owner wasn't from the upper crust of society. _Probably a scholarship student that thought they would be able to blend in here. Yeah, right. Just like that truck, people like them didn't belong here._ _At least they had the sense to not fuck with my car._

I saw a ragged looking man come out of the building right about then. He was disheveled and had a forlorn look about him. His clothes were most definitely not designer and he looked shabby and worn out. _Must be the owner of the truck._ He eyed me warily as he made his way to the back to grab the last of the boxes in the rear. He nodded politely in my direction but his eyes were anything but. I rolled my eyes and made my way past him into the dorm. When I got up to my room, I found that the guys had arrived in my absence. Jasper had chosen the bed by the window since he was an early riser anyway and left Emmett to the bed by the door. Emmett complained about the idea, but when we argued that his hulking form would wake either of us and the fact that he slept like a log, he grudgingly accepted. When everything was settled, we sat back and I decided it was time to share my discoveries with them.

"So I did some scoping out while you ladies were making your way here. I think you'll be pleased with what I found." Both of their gazes shifted to me and their eyebrows winged up in curiosity.

"Oh yeah? And what is it that you discovered, _Eddie?_" One of these days I was going to kick his ass. I just had to come up with a solid plan first to surprise him.

"Emmett…" I growled at him. I knew he did it to goad me, but that didn't change the fact that I absolutely despised that name.

"What?" He tried to feign innocence. It might have actually worked, if I wasn't privy to his act. It never ceased to amaze me how many people fell for his naive act.

"Don't 'what' me like that. I know better than to think you're completely clueless." He roared with laughter. Just like every other time we had this discussion. Yep, I was totally going to kick his ass one day. "Anyway, like I was saying before dunderhead decided to interrupt. I was noticing the incoming female population here. There are some prime pickings here." That got both of their undivided attention.

"Really?" They said in unison.

"Oh, yes. Most definitely. Very nice pickings indeed."

"So, what? Now we divide and conquer?" Emmett was always up for getting some action.

"Actually, I was thinking some kind of wager. With a point system, if you will."

"Do tell, dear friend of mine. This sounds like my kind of game."

"How about ten points for each girl we bag, and fifty if she's a virgin."

"Yeah, like you're gonna find _any_ virgins on a college campus. But what the hell, I'm in!" Of course Emmett would be in.

"I don't know…" and like usual, Jasper seemed wary of that kind of plan. He liked to spout on about emotional attachments and developing a relationship before taking things to the next level.

"Oh come on Jas. Seriously, you have to get over your feminine side." Emmett was always the first to pick on Jasper for his need for commitment.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting some level of commitment before allowing a relationship to progress to a level of intimacy." Emmett just roared with laughter again. "Besides, there are plenty of studies that talk about the emotional ramifications of using a person for sex alone. I propose a different type of plan altogether."

Now he had my interest. The point system was an old game for us. Well, for Emmett and me anyway. I wanted a new diversion, something that would challenge me a bit more than just seducing a woman. "Alright Jasper, what do _you_ have in mind?"

"I propose instead of just seducing many women, we try and seduce just one woman."

"One?!?! Why do you do this to us Jas? Just one?" Emmett never wanted to settle for less. He wanted hoards of women, all at the same time if he could get them, but taking them on one by one never bothered him either.

"No Em. Not just any one. _The_ one." I must admit. I was a little confused as to what he was trying to say. It must have shown on my face because he continued. "I mean, what if we tried to find a girl that's immune to our charms. One that you could see yourself spending more than just one week with, or in your case Emmett, one night. Try and find a girl that you could see yourself caring for."

"I still think you need to get over your fear of casual sex," Emmett grumbled. He was never one to want to do something in a small way.

"Emmett, in today's age, there's nothing wrong with being a little scared of casual sex. What with STDs and unwanted pregnancies, I don't see why you can't understand that."

"So just find one girl that you could see yourself forming a relationship with?" I had to admit, the idea was intriguing, but I was never one to try and form emotional bonds. In fact, I usually tried to avoid them at all costs, but with a prime example of a relationship gone bad at home, who could blame me.

"Exactly. Someone you could even fall in love with." Jasper really was such a girl sometimes. Of all of us, he was the one that looked forward to starting a family most. But his parents had a healthy relationship and they genuinely cared about him as well as one another. Emmett's parents cared for him, and while they portrayed a loving and caring relationship with each other, it was a well known fact that his father had a mistress. Or two.

"I don't know Jasper. I'm not sure I'm comfortable trying to get close to someone."

"You aren't your parents Edward. Just because you come from a dysfunctional family doesn't automatically mean you would have one of your own. There are plenty of people that come from less than admirable families that go on to form healthy, loving relationships with someone else and can show that love and care to their children as well."

"I get it Jasper. You can stop the lecture." I had to laugh though. Every chance he got he would go into lecture mode. He was truly following his calling by going into psychology. Emotions and the human mind fascinated him and he loved trying to pick them apart piece by piece to get to the bottom.

"But that's not why I came here." Emmett, being Emmett, started whining immediately. He really was an overgrown two year old.

"No. You came here for an education." Jasper shot back.

"Hey! Before we get into this argument, why don't we just grab something to eat. You guys are giving me a headache already." I laughed again though. My friends would never change. Emmett would always be a baby about everything and Jasper would always analyze. I wasn't really sure where I fit into the equation, but I was too hungry and tired to explore the possibilities. After discussing what our options were, we headed out to my Volvo. On our way down there, I realized I had forgotten my wallet in the room, so while they were bickering over who would ride shotgun, I ran back upstairs.

As I was coming back down, I was going over the idea of finding someone I could love in my head. While I had never really desired connections like that, it didn't seem like an entirely bad idea. I didn't have anyone else who really cared about me, my parents certainly didn't. At least not in the way a child deserved. Instead I was always reminded of the family name and the obligation I had for being born a Cullen, like I had _asked_ for that. My mood started getting darker and darker the more I thought about it and I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings as I came around a corner at a landing. My thoughts stopped abruptly when something, or rather some_one_ plowed straight into me.

"Ooomph!" We fell on the ground in a mess of tangled limbs while I tried desperately not to crush the tiny form beneath me. When I gathered my wits, I realized it was a girl that had run into me. "What the hell?" I was really taken aback. I cursed myself for not paying more attention and was angry at being knocked down.

"My bad," was the soft reply. "I am so sor…" she trailed off and looked me directly in the eye.

"Hey, you okay?" I panicked for a minute, hoping I hadn't hurt her. But I couldn't help but notice the deep chocolate eyes still looking intently into mine.

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, s-sure. I… I'm f-fine," she stuttered back. I couldn't seem to tear my gaze from her face. It was heart-shaped and very pale, and she had miles of mahogany hair that flowed around us both. The scent was intoxicating, strawberries and freesia. Her eyes were huge, and they seemed afraid, but I could see a blush stain her flawless complexion.

I shook my head, disgusted with myself for ogling her like that. Instead of being calm, I took my frustrations out on her. "Jesus Christ. Just watch where you're going, okay?" I pushed myself up and got to my feet, then held out my hand to help her up. She placed her small hand in mine and I gently pulled her up. After all, it wasn't her fault I wasn't paying attention, not that I would tell her that. Instead I said, "Next time you're rounding the corner, you might want to try checking your blind spots before you come barreling around." I laughed, trying to ease my own guilt for knocking her over and because my hand was tingling where it had made contact with hers. It was disconcerting.

"Yeah sure… of course. Um… well, I'm really sorry. Again. You know." She started babbling, but her voice was melodious to listen to. It sounded like a chorus of bells. Her blush deepened when she caught herself. "Hmm… I think… know I need to, umm… I have to go."

I gave her the Cullen smirk, which brought the blush flaring back on her cheeks and watched as she turned and fled. She had been so startled with herself, I wondered if she was always that shy. I watched as she ran up the flight of steps before I turned my attention back and made my way down. Her face came back in my mind, causing my heart to give one hard, violent kick. I rubbed my hand over my chest, still slightly dazed myself. _Well, that was certainly interesting._

When I finally made it back down to my car, Jasper was sitting in the front and Emmett was pouting in the back seat. I could hear them still bickering back and forth as I made my way over. "I still don't see why I have to sit in the back. There's not enough room back here." He kicked the back of Jasper's seat and scowled at him. "The least you could do is move your damn seat forward, you asshole."

"Don't kick the seat Emmett! I don't do shit like that to your car." His scowl deepened and he turned himself sideways trying to make more room for his enormous frame. His gaze wandered over the that damn truck as I was backing out of the spot and I saw a lightening fast grin cross his face.

"Nice truck, eh?" He snickered. Emmett was always so easily amused.

"Please don't remind me. I'm still a little horrified that _that_ monstrosity was parked next to my Volvo." I shook my head again, disgusted that such an appalling vehicle disgraced our parking lot.

"It's really a shame if you ask me, such a hottie driving something like that."

"Come again?"

"The driver. It was a girl. And man was she hot."

"A _girl_ is driving that thing?!?!" I asked incredulously. What kind of girl would drive a behemoth like that? Certainly no kind of girl I had ever come in contact with. This time it was Jasper who answered.

"Yeah, we were crossing the lobby when we saw that thing pull up. We stopped for a minute to see who would be driving it, especially here. Imagine our surprise when _she_ got out."

"And who is _she_?"

"No clue. Idiot back there was acting like a fool trying to get her attention when she came in, but she walked right by. Didn't even look in our direction, looked like she was pretty deep in thought if you ask me. But she was a stunner, that's for sure. Anyway, what took you so long?"

"Hmmm? Oh, nothing. Just a run-in in the stairwell." I felt my heart give another hard kick and lost myself to my thoughts. _I wonder. Could it be the same girl? If so, I was certainly in for one hell of a surprise._

* * *

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Author's Note: My sincere apologies that it took so long to get this chapter out. But with snow days and little ones out of school, my time was strained to say the least. I hope you aren't disappointed in the chapter. I worked fairly hard on it, trying to get it just right. I'm not sure I'm entirely pleased with it, but it was the best I could come up with. I wanted to touch on Edward's arrogance a little more, plus his apprehension with commitment. I hope you guys have a better feel for him now.

xoxo

Nan


	6. We're Going Where

**Disclaimer: Birth certificate says I'm just plain old me. Guess I still don't own anything.**

"_Shopping__ is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after __shopping__ you can make an exchange for something you really like." ~Adrienne Gusoff_

_**Chapter Five: We're Going Where?!**_

**BPOV**

Classes weren't set to start for another week. I guess they wanted to give us time to get acclimated to our surroundings before we started over-working our brains. My job at the library didn't start for a few more days either. A few days before class was the perfect time to train me since there wouldn't be studies to work around. I didn't imagine it would be that difficult though, especially since I had worked in the library after school through high school. Of course I didn't get paid for that, but I couldn't tear myself away from the books and the knowledge. I loved the smell of academia.

That meant though, that I had a few days to myself to explore if I wanted to. I went to bed pretty early last night, mostly to escape Rosalie and her intense hatred of me. But Alice didn't seem to be much of a picnic either. She was nice and everything, but she was a little too bouncy for my liking. Plus she had threatened to take my clothes away and was demanding that I go shopping with her. I had tried arguing that I didn't need new clothes and she laughed at me. Right in my face laughed at me too. It was humiliating.

Then I tried to explain that I didn't have the money to replace my wardrobe. She told me I was being nonsensical. She came from generations of wealth and was insisting that this be her treat for being her new friend. I still wasn't sure what qualified us as being friends, but I was afraid to argue that point with her. She might have been tiny, but she seemed pretty fierce to me.

Over the course of the evening I had learned more of their backgrounds, mostly from Alice since Rosalie was still sitting in her chair, thumbing through a fashion magazine. Every once in awhile she would sigh rather dramatically, look over at Alice, and roll her eyes. Apparently they had known each other for quite some time. They were both from very wealthy families, Alice from Mississippi and Rosalie from New York, but they had attended Finishing School together in Switzerland. Needless to say, I was fairly intimidated. Alice must have seen the shock on my face because her smile softened and she assured me that they were no different from me. Rosalie scoffed at that, which was right about the time I had excused myself for the evening.

But this morning, I seemed to be free to do whatever I wanted. Alice was already gone when I had woken, as was Rosalie. I assumed they were together, so I just laid back down and tried to will myself back to sleep. After about ten minutes, I realized that wasn't going to happen, so I made my way out to the front room. I went to the small fridge we had in the room and pulled out a can of Mt. Dew. It should tide me over until I could get to a coffee shop. I glanced around the room and saw a piece of paper taped to the flat screen on the wall. It was a note from Alice. She wrote in her elegant, loopy scrawl:

_Bella_

_Good morning sleepyhead. Nice to see you've joined_

_the land of the living finally. Rosalie and I have been_

_up since dawn and ran down to the coffee shop for_

_provisions. Get dressed in the outfit lying on my bed_

_and be ready to shop by 10 sharp._

_Please don't dawdle._

_Alice _

Suddenly I was terrified. She was actually serious. Dead serious. I didn't want to go shopping, but at the same time, I didn't want to face the wrath of Alice. Before I started weighing my options, I glanced at the clock. It read 9:40. Crap. That meant I only had twenty minutes to decide what was best _and _get ready if I decided to go. Finally, I concluded that getting dressed and contemplating at the same time was the safest option.

At 10, right on the dot, Alice and Rosalie came back into the room, both looking fresh and beautiful. I quickly glanced down and myself and was shocked that I hadn't really paid any attention to the clothes before. I was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans that hugged my figure nicely. I knew they were mine because I recognized them, but I had never worn them before because they made me feel self-conscious. They had been a gift from a friend back home who was trying to get me to come out of my shell. I wondered vaguely what Angela was up to and made a mental note to email her later.

The top on the other hand was nothing that I recognized. It must have belonged to either Rosalie or Alice, but I was betting on Alice. It was a dark shade of blue, but bordering on purple. It was peasant style with billowy sleeves that stopped mid forearm. It hugged my curves and had a plunging neckline, which immediately made me blush. I never wore clothes as revealing as this voluntarily. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hide my cleavage and heard Alice giggle.

"Bella, that looks fantastic on you. Quit trying to hide yourself." She had a gleam in her eye that immediately made me nervous.

"Umm… thanks?" I didn't want to wear this shirt, but I had a feeling Alice wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Doesn't she look great Rose?" Alice beamed at Rosalie, who had a look of disgust still plastered on her beautiful face. It was a shame really, and totally not fair that she could look so menacing and gorgeous at the same time.

"Yeah, whatever." Even her voice was gorgeous when it was angry. Life was so unfair sometimes.

"Well girls, let's get going!" Of course Alice was still chipper. I had a sinking feeling that she was always this way.

"Fine," Rose snapped at Alice. I knew I shouldn't let it bother me, some people were just rude no matter what, but that didn't mean I was going to let her talk to people that way around me.

"You know Rosalie, I don't know what the hell your problem is with me, but you don't have to take it out on Alice. Why the hell are you even coming with us if you can't stand me?" Alice had an amused look on her face, and I wasn't sure if it was because I stood up to Rose, or because I stood up for her.

"Well _Isabella_," she sneered at me, making sure that my name sounded foul and unappealing. "If I am going to be forced to be seen with you, I might as well make sure you look acceptable." As if that was a good reason to be a bitch.

"Well _Rosalie_," I made sure my voice had an equal amount of disgust as hers had, "no one is forcing you to be seen anywhere with me. In fact, I would much prefer if we _weren't_ seen together. I don't like hanging around with bitches."

She had that look on her face again, like the one she had last night, the one that said she'd love to throttle me. I stuck my chin out, waiting for her to take a swipe at me. She was going to learn real quick that even a small town girl like me knew how to take care of herself. Instead, she just stuck her pointy little nose in the air and sailed through the door with a giggling Alice on her heels.

* * *

"Alice! Please, no more! I'm begging you. In fact, if I need to, I will get down on my knees if you will just stop. I don't need anymore clothes. I don't _want_ anymore clothes." I had been pleading for the past hour and a half. Who knew she could shop for so long? I was starving and was afraid that she was going to continue shopping from now until forever. It was already nearing dinner time and she had barely let me take a break to get lunch.

"Don't be ridiculous Bella. Everyone can _always_ use more clothes. You act like having a sense of fashion is a crime." She rolled her bright green eyes at me. "Besides, we've only been to three stores."

What she failed to mention was that she had ransacked all three places. I was sure the next time she went in they would either sing her praises since she spent so much money, or run for cover in fear of the mess she would make. Alice was a shopper to the extreme. And when it came to shopping for me, she had turned into a terrorizing slave-driver.

We were currently standing in some trendy little shop that was ironically called Bella. We had gone to The Gap first, and then some other little place called JuliAna's Boutique. All three places were a 'treasure trove' according to Alice, who I had been silently referring to as Simon Legree in my head. She was certainly officious enough. '_Bella, take these in and try them on.' 'Bella, don't make me come in there and change you myself.' 'Bella, I mean it. You will try these clothes on and you will like them.' 'For the last time Bella, stop complaining.'_

Rosalie seemed to be having the time of her life. Apparently seeing me mortified and scared out of my wits brought out the best in her. It made me hate her all the more. What kind of sick person gets their kicks out of watching someone being terrorized? Well, other than Rosalie, who was entertained as hell. Every time Alice came at me with another pile of clothes, she would snicker behind my back. I swore I would get her back one day, I wasn't sure how, but I was determined to do it.

Finally, when I threatened to pass out due to low blood sugar, Alice decided it was time for dinner. I was sincerely hoping that we would be returning to the dorms afterward, but with Alice there was never any kind of guarantee. I felt a little safer considering we were heading back to campus to eat. Alice had heard of this fantastic place that we just _had _to try out. I wasn't expecting a pub, but I suppose I should have considering we were on a college campus. Most of the places around here probably doubled as bars.

The place was fabulous and the food was fantastic. I tried not to be anxious about the fact that it was a higher class place than I was used to, but I guess the people around here didn't do 'small town diner' like they did back home. Suddenly I knew how Dorothy felt when she found herself in such a strange new place. "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore," I whispered to myself. In a way, this _was_ like the other side of the rainbow compared to Forks.

"What was that Bella?" Alice brought me out of my mental wanderings.

"Nothing," I said, chuckling to myself. I doubted they would appreciate my humor as much as I did.

"Okay Dorothy. Whatever you say," she had a twinkle in her eye when she said it and a huge grin on her face. I immediately felt a much warmer feeling towards Alice. Someone that got my reference to myself being in Oz certainly couldn't be all that bad.

As we were heading back out to Alice's Porsche, she looked at me and said, "Bella, do you know those guys over there? They're staring at you." She gestured over to the bar area and I felt my cheeks flame.

"Oh no. Please God not again." I turned back around and ran out to the Porsche and dove in the back seat, ducking down so that no one could see me. Or so I hoped.

I heard Rosalie huff when she got in the car. People like her enjoyed attention. Especially attention from three very attractive men. But me, on the other hand, not so much. I didn't know how to handle men, or even talk to men that looked like Adonis himself. I had made that abundantly clear last night in the stairwell.

"What was _that_ all about?" she quipped.

My cheeks burned even brighter. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

She seemed to let it go and just shook her head at me. Alice however was having none of that. "I don't think it's just nothing, dear Bella. Pray tell, what has you so embarrassed?" She laughed at me again. I could really choke her right now.

"Please, Alice, I don't want to talk about it." She only laughed harder.

"Oh no you don't. I insist."

"Fine!" I threw my hands in the air in defeat. "I kind of ran into the bronze-haired one in the stairwell last night. Well, literally."

"You bumped into him?" Why did she have to press for details? Did she have to know _everything_?

"Not exactly." My voice was low, so low I hoped neither of them could actually hear me, but doing so only piqued their interest more.

"This sounds good, please continue." Of course she was amused. It seemed I was a constant source of amusement to her since I barged in the room in full fury yesterday.

"Alice! This is so embarrassing. Do I have to tell you?" Even Rosalie couldn't hide her interest at this point.

"You're totally in love with him aren't you?" She was squealing in delight. Choking her was sounding like a better and better idea all the time.

"No! It wasn't like that. I just kind of, sort of knocked him down." I was back to whispering, but naturally they both heard me and burst into hysterical laughter. They were still laughing at me when we got all the bags back to the room; they're laughter gaining in intensity as they made me go through the entire ordeal again.

"Please tell me you didn't really stutter. A gorgeous guy falls right on top of you and you actually stuttered." Alice had tears streaming down her face by this point. Even Rosalie couldn't hold back her laughter.

"What was I supposed to do? I said I was sorry!" Fresh peals of laughter rang throughout the room.

"You apologized!" This came from a very amused and astonished Rose. "What the hell is wrong with you? You obviously need much more work than I initially thought." _Whatever in the hell that means._

"Oh God Rose. She's so innocent. I mean, really. Just look at her!" Alice was having trouble speaking through all of her laughter. "She has no clue what you're even talking about. We do really have our work cut out for us, don't we?"

"We do indeed."

"Okay, so not funny anymore. And what the hell are you talking about?" I was starting to get pissed. Alice's face softened and she took me by the arm, leading me to my bed. She sat down next to me and took both of my hands in hers.

"Honey, never apologize. Make him apologize first. First rule in getting a man." So there were rules now?

"Who said I even _want _a man Alice?"

"Why wouldn't you want a man that looks like that?" Rosalie seemed shocked. It never even dawned on me that she was actually _talking_ to me.

"Rosalie!" Alice scolded. "Bella, even if your priority isn't finding a man, that doesn't mean that you should be completely oblivious to the ones around you." She had me there. But I certainly wasn't about to admit it. "You look upset. We'll stop, we promise," she shot a look at Rose that said _drop it_! "Let's just unpack your new clothes and get you settled in, alright?"

All I could do was nod. Words were failing me at the moment. Instead I began to help clear out the clothes that Alice had deemed 'unworthy' and put away all of my new clothes. Rosalie had gone off to the other room to do her nails while Alice stayed behind to help me. She was down on her belly, pulling shoes out from under my bed that were going to be donated to Goodwill when she started laughing again.

"Bella, what in the world is this?" She pulled something out from under my bed and I immediately smiled.

"It's a hockey stick Alice. What the hell does it look like?"

"Well I know that, Bella. But what the hell is it doing under your bed?" Rosalie must have overheard part of our conversation because she came sauntering back into the room.

"What is _that_?" Alice still had that amused look on her face. But it seemed to always be on her face, I guess I would just have to get used to it. She answered for me.

"I've already determined it's a hockey stick, Rose. I'm just waiting to hear why Bella has it under her bed."

"It's Jake's." They both had confused looks on their faces. I must not have told them about Jake. "He's my best friend back in Forks. He didn't want me to go thousands of miles away without a reminder of him, so he gave me his favorite hockey stick after he made me promise to take good care of it. I didn't know where else to put it yet, so I stuck it under the bed."

"Oh. Well I guess that makes sense. Since it's a personal reminder, we'll have to find somewhere to put it." Rosalie didn't seem to like the sound of that, but she didn't argue.

"Thanks Alice. Jake would appreciate that." I took the stick from her and leaned it in the corner by the door. I'd have to think of somewhere good to display it. Jake was really going to get a kick out of this when I emailed him.

When all was said and done, we decided to call it a night. I laid in bed and thought back over my day. I guess I was really lucky the way things had turned out. Alice seemed really great, even if she was a little obsessive over clothing and fashion. Given a little time, I could see us becoming really good friends. I guess she had been right about that.

Rosalie and I, on the other hand, couldn't be called anything close to friends. At least we hadn't killed each other over the course of the day. In fact, we seemed to have come to terms that we were stuck with each other for the course of the school year. Maybe, with enough time we could even learn to like each other. I still wasn't betting on us being friends though. But who knew, crazier things had been known to happen. I fell asleep, content with my lot in life.

* * *

Author's Note: I am so incredibly sorry for the long delay in getting this chapter out. I could give you a plethora of different excuses, from having sick children, to the weather causing school to be canceled, to being sick myself, and so on. And while all of those things are true, I still feel bad for causing y'all to wait so long. I hope the chapter was well worth it. Please read and review. I promise not to take so long to update next time. Edward's next… I promise to make it good.

xoxo

Nan


	7. You Can't Be Serious

**Disclaimer: I own a silver minivan. It's the baby-mobile and the grocery-go-getter. That's about it.**

"_I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at night!" ~Warren G. Harding_

_**Chapter Six: You Can't Be Serious**_

**EPOV**

I couldn't get that girl out of my head. This was very unusual for me. I had never in my life had so much of my attention focused on one single girl. It wasn't even like she was the most beautiful or alluring female I had ever met. Not to mention the fact that I had barely spoken with her and the brief conversation we _did_ have wasn't anything to base a very informed impression of. If fact, if I were to go by first impressions alone, she wouldn't be rated very well. She had stuttered, blushed, stammered, and fled.

But there was just something about her. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Then there was the introduction of the mystery girl that Jasper and Emmett kept yammering about all night. It made me uneasy to think that there was a very real possibility that the girl that drove that disgrace of a truck was the very same girl I couldn't get off my mind. She was an enigma and a puzzle. If anything, I could say she had piqued my curiosity.

I had woken up this morning with a vague dissatisfaction of where my life was heading. I wasn't looking forward to classes starting next week, and I wasn't looking forward to being trapped. But if I were to be honest with myself, I had to admit that I had little choice in the matter. I decided that if I was going to try and make the best of it, the first thing I needed to do was find an outlet here on campus.

Jasper was sitting on the couch watching ESPN when I came out of the bedroom. He was already dressed for the day and I didn't want to know how long he had already been up. It wasn't that I didn't care**,** I just wasn't really a morning person. He looked over at me briefly and gave a nod to acknowledge me before turning back to the TV. I noticed coffee on the table and trudged my way over, silently thanking the Gods that Jasper _was_ a morning person.

After I had finished about half my cup, I was alert enough to have a decent conversation with someone. I walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. "Thanks for the coffee."

"No problem man. I know how you are in the morning, so I figured I might as well make it easier for you. Besides, it gave me a chance to roam for awhile this morning."

I glanced over at the clock and realized that it was already nearly 9. He must have been up for a few hours already. "Oh yeah? Find anything you liked?"

"There's a bakery not too far from here. That's where I got the coffee." He had a far off look in his eye, which was normal for Jasper, but the fact that he didn't elaborate more wasn't.

"Find anything else, other than the bakery?"

"Well, I noticed a couple girls leaving the bakery when I was heading in that direction…" a loud crash from the bedroom cut him off. It was followed by Emmett shouting and swearing. Jasper and I exchanged a look before we started laughing. Emmett came barging out of the room looking extremely grumpy and he had a red mark on the side of his face. Realizing that we must have been laughing at him, he shot us a glare.

"What the fuck are you girls laughing about?"

Jasper recovered first, "Well good morning to you too, Sunshine."

"Fuck you."

"Aww Emmy, what's the matter?" Jasper was using a baby voice, which only made me laugh harder.

"Beds in this goddamn place are made for midgets, that's what's the matter!" Emmett roared at us. "Man my size needs a bigger bed. I could hardly sleep last night trying to get comfortable in that tiny thing. Then this morning, all I was trying to do was roll over and I fucking fell right out of the bed." That explained the red mark on his face. And his sour mood. He wasn't nearly as amused as we were. "Ooh, is that coffee?" He stomped off to the table to grab a cup for himself.

"So, what did you guys have in mind for today?" I asked after we had settled down some.

"I don't know. But I'm hungry." Emmett was whining, so he must not have damaged his head too much in the fall.

"You're always hungry Emmett, tell us something we don't know."

"Just shut up and decide where we're going to get food." He took his coffee back in the bedroom to get ready.

"He's such a baby." Jasper nodded his agreement, but still didn't say much. "So Jazz, you were about to tell me about some girls."

"Oh, it was nothing really. Just saw a couple girls leaving the bakery, like I said."

"And?"

"And what? They were heading in the opposite direction of me."

"What did _she_ look like?"

"What's that supposed to mean? I told you there were two of them."

"Yeah, but if you're still this caught up, one of them has your attention."

"One of them was blonde. Tall and blonde. Statuesque, I guess you'd say. From a distance, she looked like a runway model." I knew that wasn't the one that he had noticed. Jasper liked smaller girls. He was tall himself, so he liked feeling like the protector.

"And the other?" I looked over in time to see him blush. I knew now that he was going to develop a _thing_ for whoever the other girl was. Jasper only blushed when he felt too deeply. Being as charismatic as he was, he generally had excellent control over his emotions.

"There really wasn't that much to her. I didn't get a good look from as far away as I was." He was avoiding now too… a dead giveaway. I couldn't help but laugh at his discomfort.

"Come on man, I know what's about to happen. You might as well tell me."

"She was little, okay. Really little. Hard to tell from the distance, but probably no more that five feet. She had really short, inky black hair. And she had a spring in her step. Almost like she was bouncing around." He trailed off and got that far off look in his eye again. He was a goner. And he didn't even know her name.

"How are you going to find her?"

He groaned in frustration. "That's just it. I don't know. By the time I came out of my daze, they had turned the corner and were gone. What if I never find her Edward?" He started to panic. I chuckled and he sent me a glowering look.

"There are plenty of other girls Jasper. But who knows, you could get lucky and see her again really soon."

* * *

We walked around the campus all day, just wanting to familiarize ourselves with our new home. At least for the next 9 months or so, before we had to go back to Chicago. I didn't want to think about that though, so I pushed it as far out of my mind as I could. I still needed to find something here where I could relax and calm down.

I looked up and immediately noticed the Hopkins Center. I knew from my research of the campus that this was where the Music Department was located. I wondered vaguely if they had practice rooms and decided it would be worth checking out. It was on the opposite side of the campus from the Medical School, but still not too far from my dorm.

After making arrangements to meet back up with the guys later for dinner, I made my way into the building. I just had to know if there was a piano here I could use. I walked around the building for an hour, marveling at the beauty around me. This was where I belonged.

I wound my way around, still dazed by my discovery when my breath came up short. Right here, in front of me was my salvation. An information board with details on getting practice space.

What I found both renewed my spirits and dashed them at the same time. There were practice rooms available for use by the students. Eleven in total, and four of them with grand pianos. The only downside was that in order to use a grand piano, I either had to be a Music Major or a student taking piano lessons.

The cost of the lessons wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was the fact that I didn't _need_ lessons from anyone. While an upright piano would do in a bind, it wasn't what my soul desired. The sound made by an upright was no comparison to a grand piano.

I debated for only a few moments before making up my mind. I would do whatever necessary to ensure I had a key to a practice room with a grand. Nothing else would do. It was what I needed, what I craved. It was the only thing that would help me make it through the torture I would have to endure here.

I got the information I needed from the Administrative Assistant in the front office and walked out with a much lighter step. I knew I had made the right choice for me. I would worry about the consequences later.

* * *

We decided to go to Murphy's on the Green. It was a restaurant/pub that wasn't too far from campus. In fact, it was just on the outskirts of campus, so it was a perfect spot. We sat in the bar area so we could watch football on the big screen. It was still pre-season, but it looked like the Bears might actually have a real chance this year.

We debated and talked about the team and what we felt would make them better. Lovie Smith was obviously still a good choice for Head Coach in my opinion. Although I wished we still had Mike Ditka, there wasn't much that could be done about the man being fired all those years ago. We all agreed that those were the glory days, even if Ditka did seem to have some sort of meltdown.

We continued to talk about their chances, and what the Super Bowl loss in 2006 had done to us. It was a black day indeed, for all Chicago fans. On one hand, I wanted to cheer that Manning had finally won a Super Bowl. Even if he wasn't a Bear, I still liked the guy as a player. I just couldn't believe that he had taken the win from my beloved Bears.

As the night wore on, talk moved from football, to girls, to life. I told them about my find at the Hopkins Center and they were both wide-eyed at my plan. Both knew that I may have to face the wrath of Carlisle, and they tried to reason with me, telling me that if I pissed him off he might make a trip here in person. Nothing would sway me though. He might have control over what classes I was going to take, but he had no control over my free time.

My mind was made up and nothing anyone could say or do would change it. I was feeling pretty good, thinking fate had finally smiled on me. I would give Carlisle what he wanted, at least for the next couple years, and then I would go my own way. Even better, I wouldn't have to give up my music completely. It really was a red letter day for me. To top things off, I thought about that girl again and the feelings she had invoked in me.

No one, in all my memory at least, had made me feel the warmth she had. While I was still wary about love and commitment, perhaps I had found someone that could understand me. There had to be something there. Even God wasn't merciless enough to finally make me _feel_ only to have that someone refuse me. Now all I had to do was find her and charm her. Surely there was no way that she could snub me. Society had yet to show me a girl who was resistant to me.

As I was sitting there thinking about her, I started to feel an odd tingling sensation down my spine. It felt like I had gotten to close to a live wire. It wasn't painful, but more of an odd feeling. It felt a lot like when I had touched that girl's hand. A jolt of knowledge. Of recognition. Certainly not recognition in the sense that I knew her, but that somehow my soul was attached to hers.

Suddenly Emmett started laughing again. "Well looky looky Jasper. If it isn't the hottie herself, in the flesh. And she has some fine looking friends with her too."

I knew who he was talking about immediately. This was the girl with that horrendous truck. As soon as I turned around, I would be able to brush off that sinking feeling that I was longing for some poverty ridden girl. Fate couldn't be that cruel.

I turned slowly in my seat and gasped. "You can't be serious. There is no fucking way." I just kept shaking my head over and over, trying to rid myself of the awful notion. Fate _was_ indeed a cruel and heartless bitch. There before me, in all her glory, was the girl from the stairwell. I could only sit there and gape.

"What the hell's gotten into you?" Emmett was still laughing, but I could see he was also checking out the girls that were making their way to the door.

"Life can't be that cruel, can it?"

"What are you blabbing on about Edward?"

"That girl. The one with the brown hair. Surely she's not the one with the truck, right?"

"Yep. The one and only. I told you she was hot."

Hot was an understatement. Had I really thought that she wasn't that beautiful? Had I said she wasn't all that alluring? Because I was wrong. Dead wrong. On both counts. She was a vision. An angel perhaps. She was splendor and magnificence all wrapped up in a pretty little package. And the package, oh dear Lord the package.

Her jeans hugged her curves to perfection, highlighting her long shapely legs. Her tiny feet were encased in little black slippers. But her shirt nearly made my tongue wag. It was a deep blue color that looked fantastic with her skin tone. It seemed to make her glow. It dipped down in the front and gave me a wonderful view of her pert little breasts. I was sure I would start drooling soon. Aphrodite had nothing on her.

She had a lost look on her face. Like she wasn't very sure of herself or her surroundings. But she had a small smile gracing her pouty lips nonetheless. It was a wicked smile, but still oozed innocence. She had no idea the effect she was having on me. Hell, she didn't even know I was here.

Just then, I noticed one of the other girls point over in our direction. The goddess glanced over and her eyes grew wide with trepidation. The lost look was gone, but in its place was a deer in the headlights look. I distinctly saw her mouth form the words, "Oh no. Please God not again," before she turned and fled with the other two hot on her heels. I was barely aware enough to notice them pile into a bright yellow Porsche before it whisked away, and she was gone.

Emmett's booming laugh was what brought me out of my trance. I was still shaking my head, which was clouded with lust and longing. I could see him saying something, but my mind wouldn't wrap itself around the words. He reached over and thumped me on the back, hard enough to topple a grizzly. I'm not sure how I remained upright, but my head was finally clear.

"What the hell was that for asshole?" I snarled at him.

"You looked a little shell shocked man. Much like Jasper does right now. I'm gonna have to thump him too." I moved away a little, hoping that Jasper didn't fall out of his chair. But he too was able to keep himself composed.

"You two want to tell me why you look like you've been struck by lightning?" I wanted to smack the smirk off his face, but I was afraid he was right. Jasper spoke up first.

"It was her Edward." Confusion set in. What was he talking about? Hadn't we already established that the goddess was the one with the truck?

"Yes, I know Jasper. I'm smart enough to realize that she's the one with that damn truck." Now it was his turn to be confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the girl you saw last night, the one getting out of that wreck. The hottie in the truck? Remember?" What the hell was his deal?

"Oh. Of course. Yes, that was her. But that's not who I was talking about before. The little one that was with her, she's the one from the bakery this morning." Ah, realization dawned on me. That's why Jasper was dazed. He had seen his girl again, and by some weird stroke of luck, she had been with _my_ girl.

"Well it seems I was right about your luck. You saw her again." He had that frustrated look on his face again.

"But I still didn't get her name, or even talk to her for that matter. Do you know how lucky I would have to be to find her again? Twice in one day was chance, it would have to be fate to see her a third time so soon." I could see his point. But with a campus this small, it shouldn't be too hard to find a yellow 911 Turbo.

When I pointed that out to him, a grin stretched across his face. He finally had a way to find her. I knew he'd come up with a plan. My only problem now was how I was going to find that girl again. I had to talk to her. Suddenly her truck didn't matter so much. I just had to talk to her.

Emmett was rambling on about the 'buxom blonde' that was with her and talking about how incredible it was to find three such extremely attractive girls all together. When he realized he wasn't getting any comments from me he asked what was on my mind.

I told them briefly about my encounter with the truck girl in the stairwell, causing much laughter and rude commentary. "So, you knocked down a hot girl in the stairwell and didn't even get her name?" Emmett was cracking up at the irony of who she was.

I wanted to smack him, but even more I wanted to smack myself for my ineptitude. He was right. I had been lying on top of her, feeling her body pressed to mine, and I didn't even get her name. I was a moron.

As we drove back to the dorm, we made plans on how we would find them. Emmett wanted the blonde, of course, and Jasper was trying to come up with a plan to find the Porsche. I already knew that _she_ lived in our dorm, I just need to come up with a plan to find out _where_ in our dorm.

We pulled into the lot, each of us filled with different kinds of hope and wonder when I heard Jasper's sudden intake of breath. I glanced over in the direction he was looking and started laughing. There, across the lot, parked next to the truck was a bright yellow car. _It must be fate indeed._

_

* * *

_Author's Note: Well, there you have it. Chapter six. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This time you can blame the delay on a wonderful story I found right here on fan fiction. It's called Resident Geek, by cdunbar and it has Edward, in all his geeky glory. Horn rims, D&D, WoW, Monty Python references, and all. I love me some geeky Edward, I can tell you that much. If you have a thing for a guy who wears shirts that say "The dice are trying to kill me," then I suggest to run on over to her profile and check it out. I can guarantee you won't be disappointed.

xoxo

Nan

PS – Although I am fairly adept at doing my own editing and corrections, I might be able to use a beta. My husband is charging sexual favors for doing my editing for me… I know, he's a pig. But he's a geek, what can I say. Horn rims really do it for me. lol


	8. He's Raving Mad

**Disclaimer: I own several pair of shoes. More than I need for two feet.**

A/N: This is the very first time I am doing this, but I wanted to dedicate this chapter to someone. It was going to be my home-girl (yeah bb, you know who you are) but that's going to have to wait until next chapter. Why? Because this chapter is dedicated to Nathalie Cullen13 for being so sweet and awesome, and for offering to beta this story for me. For personal reasons that I won't name, that won't be happening, so I AM still looking for a beta, but I'm still sending this one out to Nathalie. Thanks chica! You rock!

"'_Mad' is a term we use to describe a man who is obsessed with one idea and nothing else." ~Ugo Betti_

_**Chapter Seven: He's Raving Mad**_

BPOV

I managed to get through the past few days with Alice and Rosalie. I wasn't sure how I managed, but I did. While Alice had seemed interested in everything I said, Rosalie did not. She was hot and cold. Sometimes she would smile at me and seem like she meant it, others she would scowl and make me feel small and useless. But I didn't let it get to me. There was nothing I could do to change rooms, and I wasn't going to buckle and give in to her absurdity.

It lightened my mood that I would only have to put up with her for one school year. The only downside to that was the idea of losing Alice. Somehow the little pixie had wormed her way right into my heart. I loved her like a sister, the sister I had always hoped I would someday have. She brought out the best and the brightest in people. Even Rosalie.

Today was the day that I would start my job at the library. Most of my classes would be morning classes with the exception of one. The library staff had been gracious enough to work around my schedule, meager as it was, and allow me to work the late afternoon shift into the evening. The bonus in that was that most of the students didn't want that shift anyway. They would rather be hanging out with friends or partying instead of being stuck at the library all night.

Though I had begged for more hours, stating that I didn't need the time off, they were insistent on me only working three days a week with an optional half day on Sunday. That meant I could escape Rosalie on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. She didn't seem to care either way.

Alice on the other hand seemed disappointed that I would be spending every Friday evening at the library. She seemed to think that I needed a much rounder social life. I wasn't as convinced. I had survived Forks with little to no social life at all. And I reiterated the point over and over that I hadn't come here for dating and partying. I came here to get my degree and to better my chances of obtaining a good job.

The degree in English would open up so many options for me. I was considering either going into journalism or editing. Then there was that secret desire in the back of my mind to write my own novel. The creative writing courses would indeed assist in that aspect, but my shyness and self esteem were too low for me to consider opening myself up for criticism that way. Sure I could hold my own in an argument. Especially with the likes of Rose, but when it came to me and my life, I was extremely cautious.

I pushed those thoughts aside as I examined my newly revamped wardrobe. I was still a little irked about losing most of my more comfortable clothing. Most of the items left were more revealing than I liked and looked far from comfortable like my sweaters and sweatshirts that I had brought with me. The sweaters Alice had purchased were all cashmere or angora, or similar blends, and while they may be extremely soft, they didn't have the same appeal to me that my cotton ones did. I wasn't even going to think about how tight they all were either.

I settled on a light blue one that seemed to be slightly less divulging as the rest and grabbed my favorite pair of jeans. I decided on wearing my most comfortable pair of boots as well since I would be on my feet most of the evening. I had put my foot down on Alice replacing my shoes with heels and dress shoes. No matter how she had tried to bribe and coerce me, I stayed firm on not losing all of my shoes. Of course she had still bought eight new pair for me anyway, but I felt better that she had let me keep all but three pair of the ones from home.

I pulled my hair back into a braid and made my way to the main room of our dorm. Rosalie was sprawled across the chaise, as usual, perusing a fashion magazine.

"Where's Alice?" Rosalie glanced over to me and gave me a once over, something else I was getting used to.

"Hmmm… I would have gone with a different pair of shoes, but overall you look adequate." I rolled my eyes at her. I guess I wasn't entirely used to having someone critique my appearance on a regular basis as I had initially thought.

"Gee thanks. Now where's Alice?"

"Oh she's out and about. Said something about a sale at one of those little boutiques we visited the other day," she said, waving me off. I cringed inwardly, hoping that she wasn't buying me anything else.

"Well, I'm off to the library." I wasn't sure why I told her, but I wanted to give her the common courtesy of knowing where I was. Old habit from Charlie, I guess.

"Yeah, whatever." I ignored her and made my way out and down the stairwell.

Ever since my run-in with the bronze-haired Adonis, I had been anxious every time I went downstairs. I didn't want to run in to him again. It wasn't like I was trying to avoid him, but I couldn't get over the humiliation of our first encounter. Aside from that, I couldn't stop thinking about him and I certainly didn't need any distractions while I was here.

When I told Alice I didn't want a man I wasn't lying. Or exaggerating. First of all I had absolutely no experience with relationships. Secondly, I didn't want to give that much power to any one person. If you gave someone your heart, you gave them the means to break you or hurt you. I had no intention of letting either of those things happen to me.

Not only that, but what if something happened to them? My whole life I had been witness to Charlie's torment over losing Renee. My memories of her were very vague and hazy. She had been so sick for so long, and she died when I was only 3 so I hadn't really suffered overly much. As sad as it was, it was almost as if I didn't have a mother at all. But Charlie remembered Renee. Charlie still held on to that memory now, even fifteen years later he still held on to his precious memories of his deceased wife. There was no way I would put myself in that position. I was content to go at it alone.

But for the first time in my life, there was a man that I just couldn't shake. Sure there had been annoyingly over-attentive guys in high school, but I paid them no mind. Usually I just ignored them or told them I wasn't interested. After the first three years, most of them had left me alone, labeling me as the 'Ice Princess.' Not that I cared. The few that still persisted were all still systematically deflected. It was the way I had wanted things.

Was I changing? There couldn't be any possible way. I told myself over and over that there was absolutely no way I was going to get involved in a relationship. The bronze-haired Adonis was no different than any other guy. And that was final.

* * *

When I walked into the library I stopped in my tracks and just basked in the splendor and majesty. Nothing in my life, other than Charlie, could compare to my love of books. The few friends that I did have would all tease me about the fact that I'd rather spend a Friday night curled up with a good book than out gallivanting around the town. They called me a bibliophile and a nerd, but I didn't care. What could be better than a good book?

I slowly made my way to the main reference desk looking for Mrs. Cope. She was my supervisor and was the one who would tell me what was expected of me. When I approached the desk, I saw a medium height blonde guy behind the desk, checking in the huge stack of books that lay on the counter. His name tag read 'Mike.'

Hearing my approach, he glanced up from what he was doing and dropped the book he held in his hands, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. I immediately looked over my shoulder to see what could have cause such a reaction, but there was nothing there. I glanced to the left and right, still trying to determine what could have caused that look on his face, but like behind me, there was nothing around.

'Mike' still hadn't come out of his daze, so I decided that I should probably talk to him. "Umm… hello?" That seemed to break him from his stupor.

"Can I," his voice squeaked out and he cleared his throat to try again. "Can I help you?" I'm sure he thought that his voice sounded sexy and alluring, but it only made my skin crawl.

"I'm looking for Mrs. Cope." If I kept my tone with him businesslike and straightforward maybe he would leave me alone. By the look in his eye I could tell it wasn't going to work though.

"Of course…" he trailed off, waiting for me to supply him with my name.

"Isabella Swan. I'm supposed to be starting work today."

"Of course, Isabella." He tried purring my name, but it ended up sounding scratchy and forced.

"Bella, please."

"Right this way then, Bella." He opened the pass-through that led behind the desk. I wasn't certain whether or not I should follow him though. The thought of being trapped behind the reference desk with him wasn't very appealing, but I wanted this job and I could handle him if he got out of control.

I walked past him and waited for him to lead the way. He came up beside me and placed his hand at the small of my back, intending to lead me to the office, but I side-stepped him easily and gave him a haughty stare. I sincerely hoped that I wouldn't have to start shooting down advances so quickly. His cheeks pinked up some and he ducked his head and led the way back.

When we got to the door marked 'Office' he gave a couple quick raps before opening the door. Behind the desk was sitting a short heavy set woman with wild red hair. Her glasses were slipping down her nose, but she had a warm smile on her face. "Is there something you need Mike?"

He stepped to the side to allow me to come into view. "Isabella Swan is here."

"Bella." I corrected him again and had a sinking feeling that I might have to do so continually before he got the picture. "Please, call me Bella."

"Well hello, dear. My name is Mrs. Cope. Please come in and sit down." I made my way past Mike, who was still standing in the doorway. My body brushed his as I tried to get by him and I heard him inhale softly, like he was sniffing me. I gave him another sharp look before finally getting into the room and went to sit in the chair across from Mrs. Cope.

She had a knowing smile on her face as she looked past me to where Mike was standing. "I think you can return to your station Mike. I can handle things from here." She said it kindly, but you could hear the order behind the words. Mrs. Cope was a no-nonsense kind of woman. I immediately liked her better for it.

His face fell and he sent me one more longing glance before closing the door presumably making his way back to the reference desk. She turned her gaze back on me and the smile still lurked at the corners of her mouth. "You'll have to excuse Mike. He's a nice boy and he seems fairly harmless, if not a bit… odd." I smiled and laughed softly at her description. She made him sound more like a golden retriever than a person. It was an apt comparison.

"Thank you Mrs. Cope."

"Oh, dear. We aren't that formal around here. Please call me Shelly." She made me think of what a grandmother might be like, had I had a living one to compare her to. I did like her, very much.

"Okay Shelly. Thank you." I gave her my brightest smile.

She rummaged through the piles of paper on her desk and pulled one out, as if she knew exactly where it had been the whole time. "I understand you worked in your high school library all four years you were there. Is that correct?"

"Yes ma'am. I also volunteered in the town library on the weekends."

She smiled at me, looking very proud. "Then you won't be needing very much training. I appreciate a worker that knows what they're doing."

"I love libraries ma'am. I love being around books and knowledge." I wasn't sure why I was opening up to her so much, but she just had that comfortable aura around her.

"Shelly, please. For now I'm just going to tell you a little about what's expected of you, and then I'll leave you to Mike for the tour." I cringed a little at that and she giggled. "He really is harmless Bella. I'm sure if you tell him you aren't interested he'll understand." I guess I wasn't the only one that noticed the looks Mike was giving me.

After going over my schedule again, she gave me the rundown of how she liked the library to operate. It was very similar to the way the libraries back in Forks had been run. When I told her this, she seemed relieved again that I wouldn't need extensive training. After only half an hour or so, she was ready to let me get started. She walked me back out to the front where we encountered a very eager looking Mike.

"Mike, please show Bella where everything is." She beamed at me and then looked back at Mike, "and make her comfortable." She gave him a very pointed look at the last statement. It was clear to me that she was telling him not to hit on me, but I could tell it went right over his head because he was staring at me once again.

"Yes Shelly. I'll make sure Bella is _very_ comfortable." He was nodding excitedly, but there was no way to miss the emphasis he had put into his statement. Her warning had indeed gone right over his head. Shelly just sighed and shook her head before making her way back to her office.

"So Bella, you ready for the grand tour?" I just nodded my head and tried to follow behind him. When he tried to put his hand on my back again, I shook my head and glared at him coldly.

"Excuse me." I was really trying to make it clear that I didn't want to be touched or hit on, but this guy seemed pretty dense. Or he thought I was playing hard to get. If he didn't knock it off, he was going to find out just how _hard_ I could be.

He tried to look abashed, but I wasn't buying it. He still had that glint in his eye that told me to keep on my toes. I just wordlessly followed him over to the main desk so he could show me their computer setup. He hummed and hawed for a good 10 minutes, trying to make a show out of what he was doing. I wasn't sure if he was trying to impress me or not, but it wasn't working.

Finally he moved to the side to let me have a look at the system. I was able to maintain myself and didn't laugh in his face. This setup was more archaic than the one back in Forks. I was trying my hardest not to mention that fact, until he came up right behind me and tried to reach around me, sly like, to help me figure out how to work it.

"Now if you click here, you'll see how to check books in and out." He was going to continue, but I side-stepped him again and looked right in his eye.

"Yes, I'm aware of how to use this system. The one from the library I worked at in my hometown is more up to date than this one is." For once in my life, I was able to thank the small-town committee that took so much pride in said town. "In fact, this is the exact same program I learned on 4 years ago. That is, until they upgraded after my first year there."

He looked so upset, and I knew I was right about him trying to impress me. Too bad that wasn't going to work out for him. "Well, okay then. How about I just show you where each of the sections are? That way if someone comes to the reference desk, you'll be able to point them in the right direction."

I wanted to tell him, once again, that I was familiar with the way libraries operated, but I didn't want to talk to him more than necessary. We just walked around the library and he pointed out each different section, from humanities to biographies, the law section, medical books, etc. Each section was clearly labeled, so it wouldn't be too hard to find my way around.

More than once, I had to move away when Mike got too touchy. He would either try and take my hand or touch my arm. A couple times he tried to lead me by putting his hand behind me. Each time I would step out of the way and shoot him a look, but it was becoming more and more obvious that I had to be more brazen to get my point across.

All the while, Mike chattered on about himself. He was a sophomore here and an only child from a wealthy Chicago family. His parents owned several sporting goods stores there in Chicago and he was majoring in business so that he could one day take over the family business. I kept my mouth shut and didn't offer him any information, even though he tried to wheedle it out of me time and again.

The time was coming to put dear Mike Newton in his place. Fortunately for him, he survived the entire tour of the library, which I'm sure he dragged out as long as possible. When we were approaching the reference desk again, he tried to guide me yet again, but this time I stopped dead in my tracks and glared.

"I don't think you're getting the hint _Mike._" I tried to put as much venom in his name as possible, and when he shrank back I was sure I had hit my target. "I have tried to be polite, and I've tried gently to let you know I'm not interested. Either you're too stupid to see it, or you think I'm being coy. I can assure you I am not. And I will tell you this. Do. Not. Touch. Me.

I don't need to be guided like a child and I don't want your hands on me. I don't want to be your new conquest, and I'm certainly not interested in developing any kind of relationship with you." His face was turning several different shades of red. I wasn't sure if it was because he was angry, or because he was embarrassed due to the audience we were gaining, either way I plowed on. "And if you touch me, one more time, I promise you it will be the last time you ever have use of that hand. Do I make myself clear?"

All he could do was nod and walk away. _Wise choice Newton, wise choice._ But this was just absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. Now I was in a bad mood, and Mike had done the one thing no one else in my life had ever been capable of. He had spoiled my time in the library. All I knew was that I was taking a long, hot shower as soon as I got home.

The rest of the day seemed to pass by uneventfully. I was able to regain my pleasant mood that libraries had always brought me in the past and had nearly forgotten about dear old Mike. That is, until it was time to go home.

Apparently Mike's clock out time was the same as mine. _Oh joy!_ So I would have to deal with him at the end of the shift every time I worked with him. I made a mental note to compare my schedule with his so I would be ready next time.

I gathered the few things I had brought with me and made my way back to the front. Mike was standing there outside the entrance. Waiting for me. This was sure to be a bad thing. I squared my shoulders and made my way to the exit. I had stood up to him once, I was surely able to do it again.

As I made my way out, he looked me over again. This was really going to get old. If he didn't learn to control that, I was going to have to gouge his eyes out or something. The way he checked me out made me feel dirty, like he was mentally undressing me and fantasizing about all sorts of nasty things. I shuddered slightly but looked him dead in the eye.

"Was there something you needed?" I was as haughty as I could be. Maybe I'd have to ask Rosalie for some pointers at some point or another.

"Umm, well…" he stammered out. When I let out an impatient huff, he gathered himself and tried again. "I was wondering if you wanted to go get a cup of coffee or something."

I stared at him in blank shock for a minute or two before laughter overtook me. He had to be, hands down, the dumbest person I had ever met. Was he seriously thinking that after my little tirade this afternoon that I would go and have coffee? Apparently he was. I caught my breath and shook my head at him.

"You have a nerve don't you." He looked hopeful for a moment, like I had just given him the greatest compliment, then I continued. "No Mike. I won't have coffee with you. Not now, not ever. I wasn't kidding when I said I wasn't having _any_ kind of relationship with you. Good night."

I turned to storm away from him and caught sight of a head of bronze hair, watching me from a little ways down the street. My stomach sank and I was afraid I would be sick. _Please God, please don't make me have to face him right now. I don't know how much more bravado I have._ God apparently does in fact answer small prayers, because Adonis turned and made his way toward our dorm.

I followed behind at a safe distance, and kept my head down, hoping that he didn't stop or turn around to talk to me. I just put one foot in front of the other, over and over, until we made it to Russell-Sage Hall. He was still a bit of a ways in front of me, mostly because I had walked as slowly as possible, trying desperately to keep as much distance between us as I could.

I thought I saw him hesitate a few times, like he was debating whether he should talk to me or not. Thankfully he continued to move forward and didn't pause long enough for me to catch up.

The stairwell was again torturous and I felt my cheeks flush from the memories of our first encounter. Was I ever going to be able to walk these stairs again without thinking of _him_? If that was going to be possible, it was probably going to take some time. I would just have to be diligent about not getting caught too close to him again.

I could smell him. The faint smell of him lingering behind as I made my way up. He smelled like… was that _sunshine_? With undertones of honey and… orange blossoms? I groaned to myself. Was it possible for someone to smell that good? There was no way that was cologne. This smelled too natural to be something as artificial as cologne. He honest to God smelled like sunshine, honey, and orange blossoms. Translate that to mean he smelled like sin.

I shook my head. I had to get thoughts like that out of my head or I was going to run up and jump him. I didn't even know I could _have_ thoughts like that. I was so inexperienced with men that I made nuns look bad. Maybe that's what I would do. I would run away and join a monastery. Then I wouldn't have to face him again and be assaulted by such a heavenly scent. Heaven and sin. They seemed to be interchangeable words when it came to Adonis.

When we finally reached our floor (_yes, he was headed to my floor, help me God_) I was nearing panic mode. I sincerely hoped he didn't think I was following him, or worse, stalking him. That's all I needed now. Not only would I be the freak that knocked him down on the landing, but I would also be the crazy girl that followed him around like a puppy.

_Somebody please just shoot me now._ My head was still ducked to my chin and I saw him round the corner. I made a mad dash for my room, key at the ready, and slammed the door shut behind me. My breath was coming in gasps and I could see black spots forming in front of my eyes. I vaguely heard someone calling my name, but I was too afraid I was passing out to care.

Small arms wrapped around my waist and lead me to the sofa, gently guiding me down. I put my head between my knees and tried my hardest to regulate my breathing before the hysterical laughter burst forth. Suddenly the room was filled with sound. So much sound it made my ears hurt, so I slapped my hands over them while tears rolled down my face from my laughter.

I opened my eyes and saw both Alice and Rosalie staring at me with worried looks on their face. "He smells like sunshine. Fucking sunshine. And honey with a touch of orange blossom. I swear to God he'll be the death of me."

They were looking at me like I was crazy. I'm pretty sure at this point they may have been right, but I was too relieved to care. I had managed to make it to my room without any more incidences, except for the recent hysterics. Alice approached me very slowly, hands out, trying to make me more comfortable.

"Bella? Are you alright?" More giggles poured out of me. I couldn't seem to stop it. Maybe I _was_ losing my mind.

"No Alice. I'm not," I was finally able to choke out between laughter.

"Oh honey, are you hurt? Did someone attack you?" I was finally starting to understand. They thought I had been assaulted and were worried for me. I launched myself off the couch and grabbed them both in a vice-like grip. Rosalie didn't even try to break away.

"Thank you guys. I love you so much. Thank you for just being here while I lose my mind." Rose just stroked my back gently, trying to soothe me as best she could.

"Where are you hurt Bella? Do you want me to call the Campus Police?" It was the first time I had heard her speak to me in such a kind way. It brought more tears forth.

"No Rose. I'm okay, I promise. Nothing happened. I was just taken by surprise after a really shitty day." They pried my hands off of them and sat me back down. They exchanged more nervous looks before asking me to tell them exactly what happened.

I told them all about Mike Newton of the wandering hands and how I had tried to put him in his place. Then I told them about him asking me out for coffee after work, which they both gasped at appropriately. I was getting to the end of the story when my breathing started becoming labored again.

"So I turned on my heel, trying to make a dramatic exit when I caught sight of _him._" Neither of them had to ask who I was referring to. He had been such a hot topic of discussion, well him and his friends, in our dorm room that there was absolutely no question. Alice broke the silence first.

"Did he talk to you?" I sat back and sighed. I wasn't sure now whether I was grateful or disappointed. I had to mull it over before I answered.

"No Alice, he didn't. But he's somewhere on this floor. He was heading to one of the rooms down the hall. When he turned the corner, I made a mad dash for the room and well, you saw the results." This time Rosalie spoke.

"So wait a minute. You mean _he_ is somewhere on this floor? Like right down the hall?" Her laughter bubbled out. "Bella, the way you two keep running into each other, it has to be fate." I scoffed at her. _Fate my ass._

"No Rose, I think it's just chance."

"Chance. Fate. Whatever. I think you need to talk to him." She couldn't be serious. There was no way I'd ever get up enough nerve to talk to someone like him. So I just rolled my eyes at her and got up to make my way to the bedroom.

"No Rose, I don't. Thanks for the ear guys, sorry I worried you. I think I'm going to bed now." And I left. I could hear them murmuring to each other through the closed door, and I was sure they were talking about me. I didn't care. I just wanted today to be over.

* * *

A/N: I don't think any excuse I give you could possibly be enough. So, to make things up to you, I wrote THREE AND A HALF pages more than normal. That has to count for something, right? Please forgive me and hit that little review button to tell me what you think. I really do love reviews. I can't become a better writer if you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong.

xoxo

Nan

PS – as I stated in the A/N up top, I am still in search of a beta. I would prefer someone 18 or older considering this fic is rated M and will probably have lemons in the future. If you're interested, or know someone who is, please have them send me a PM. Appreciate it chicas! And chicos if there are any of you reading this… because until then, I'm going to have to have my husband continue to beta for me. And I already told you what he charges for his services…


	9. Not This Clown Again

**Disclaimer: I own way too many animals for my liking. Anyone need a new pet?**

A/N: A couple things before we get started. First things first, I'd like everyone to give a warm welcome to my new Beta, Jen2112! Thanks chica! You are my new life saver. Seriously. :) Next, this chappie is dedicated to Joy. You know I love you girl, and if you don't, I'll come all the way down there and smack you. K?

"_Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer." ~ Norman Mailer_

_**Chapter Eight: Not This Clown Again**_

EPOV

There was a blur of activity over the past few days. Most of it was getting settled into the campus and what would be our new lives for the next year. The rest was small details here and there that needed to be taken care of before classes actually started. Then there was my big secret. The one I was keeping from Carlisle and Esme. The one that would be my salvation.

I had spoken with several people in the Music Department, had many auditions, if that's what they could be called, and had finally proven to them that although I wasn't a music major, I was capable enough to be a piano teacher. Today would be my first day. The first time I would actually try and teach someone else how to play. I was a little nervous.

They had decided that I would only have one student to start with, so they could determine if I was as good of a teacher as I was a player. There was no doubt in their minds that I could play. In fact, they had tried to persuade me to switch majors because they had been so impressed. It hurt my heart to tell them that wasn't an option for me.

I remember coming home that day in the darkest mood I had been in since leaving Chicago. Part of me wanted to go home, just to strangle Carlisle for his interference in my life, but that wouldn't do me any good. Nothing would do me any good and this was the only way I could have my peace and keep my sanity. I needed music like an addict needed their drugs.

My audition had gone smoothly. Almost too smoothly. I had played three or four different pieces at their request, and then went on to play two of my own works. Those had impressed them more than my playing the classics from memory, although I hadn't missed the look of surprise on their faces when I began to play without the assistance of sheet music.

I didn't need sheet music anymore. The music was in my heart. It was ingrained deep into my bones. It was a part of me. It had saved me from becoming a monster like many of the spoiled rich. I could have gone out partying every night, or developed a drinking or drug problem in high school like so many of my contemporaries. Instead, I had used music as my outlet.

I could feel the smile on my face and my mood was lighter than ever while I was sitting behind that grand piano. The music echoed, building with passion and mystery, cleansing my soul. It was one of my own compositions, one of my better ones. When the final notes were played, they were still reverberating through the room when I heard the applause. I looked over to see some of them with tears in their eyes. My music had touched their souls as well.

It seemed like that had happened forever ago when in reality it had only been a few days. A few very long days. And now I was finally going back to the Hopkins Center to begin. My student would have my undivided attention for one hour, twice a week. Tuesdays and Thursdays, to be exact. Other than that, I was free to come and go as I pleased, and since I was now a piano teacher, I would have unlimited use of their practice rooms, including the ones with the grand pianos.

I rubbed my finger tenderly over the key to the practice rooms. I had every intention of using one of those grand pianos today after I was done with my student. I had already scheduled a two hour block for myself. From 5:30 to 7:30 I would be able to lose myself in my music. I just had to get through one measly hour of teaching. Thank God I had a few hours before I had to do that.

Jasper, Emmett, and I had already developed a routine. Jasper would go for coffee, I would scowl until I had my coffee, and Emmett would fall out of bed. Jasper and I made fun of Emmett for his 'midget-sized bed' and Emmett and I made fun of Jasper for his obsession with the girl with the yellow Porsche. We knew he went to that same bakery every morning in hopes of running into her again. So far he'd had no such luck.

He was getting anxious about finding her. It was no longer uncommon to find him hanging out in the common room downstairs. Our big joke now was that he was stalking her, even if he couldn't actually find her. He wasn't nearly as amused as we were. Emmett told him if he _did _find her, to ask about her blonde friend. I wasn't sure if he was really interested in her or if he was just trying to find new ways to annoy Jasper.

I still had the truck girl firmly planted in my mind. I knew now that there was no way she was a part of my society. At one point, that would have made me forget about a girl like her, but for some reason I couldn't forget about this one. It didn't matter that she didn't have money. It didn't matter that she drove a beast of a truck. There was something about her that I couldn't seem to shake. Now I just had to find her again.

I wasn't sure what I would say to her if I ever did find her. I wasn't even sure if she would talk to me. That day at the bar she had once again run from me. Was she embarrassed? Was she angry? Did she hate me for knocking her down? Too many questions about her were buzzing around in my head. I was annoyed at myself for focusing on her so much. I was elated that I had possibly found someone who genuinely intrigued me. I was a mess.

She had a look of innocence in her eyes. That much was clear. Warm, engaging, innocent eyes. They haunted me. They lured me. They would be the death of me. I fisted my hands in my hair, annoyed with myself for my wandering mind. I couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand her. No one had ever had a hold on me like this. I had never even had a proper conversation with her and I was nearly obsessed with her.

I wanted… no, needed to know about her. What made her tick? What made her happy? What made her sad? What could I possibly do to put that dreamy, wicked smile on her face again? And what in the hell was her name? If I had that information, finding her would be a breeze, but again I had to kick myself for my moment of stupidity. I had her right in my grasp and failed to find out anything about her. All I could tell was that she was different.

In my few years of being the master seducer in school, I had never cared about a girl's wants or needs. I had wooed them, bedded them, and gone on my happy way. These were girls in my society, some of them in the inner circle of my acquaintances. I could never call most of them my friends, because that would have been a lie. I only had two real friends in my life and I was currently living with them.

What had happened to me? What was wrong with me? Here was this girl, who obviously didn't fit in my life, but she was the one that I wanted. For what, I wasn't sure yet. But I knew it was more than just a quick lay. There had to be intelligence there if she had gained a scholarship here, and I was certain she was here on scholarship. She didn't have the same polish the wealthy did, that fakeness that permeated through the ranks of those in this social class.

She was special somehow. Intriguing. Alluring. Innocently seductive. She was driving me fucking mad! And I didn't even know her god damned name! I growled in frustration. Surely there had to be some way to get her off my mind. Something I could do to alleviate this pressure in my chest when I thought of her. Anything to ease my useless suffering.

I decided to go for a walk. I only had another hour before I had to be at the Hopkins Center, and it would clear my head enough before I had to take on a teaching role.

I saw Jasper in the common room. _Big surprise_. He was sitting in one of the wingback chairs, reading a book about US History. _Another big surprise._ I had to shake this sarcastic mood. I calmed my breathing and made my way over to sit next to him. He looked up as I plopped myself down, still scowling slightly.

"Hey Edward."

"Hey Stalker." He frowned and I laughed. This was never going to get old.

"It's not funny. And you shouldn't be talking. Don't think I haven't seen you looking around every corner, peeking out the windows, and pacing around this dorm looking for truck girl." My scowl deepened. _Damn if he isn't right._

"Anyway," I brushed it off. I was trying to get _out_ of this mood, not intensify it. "Had any luck?"

"Not yet." His eyes saddened for a moment, but then they cleared and he looked back at me. "But it's only been a few days. She has to come through here at some point, right?"

"Sure. Of course she does. Her car's been parked here everyday since we first saw it here. This would obviously be the dorm she lives in."

"Exactly. So I'll just sit here and read. Eventually I'll find her."

"You do that. And don't forget to ask about Blondie for Emmett," I teased, making him crack a smile.

"Oh yeah, because I really _want_ to subject one of her friends to Emmett. Wouldn't that be like shooting myself in the foot from the get-go?" We both laughed at that and I heaved myself out of the chair.

"I'm taking a walk before I have to be down at the center. I should be back by around 8 or so."

"See you later then," and he immediately went back to his book. I smiled and shook my head at him. How was he ever going to find her if he had his nose buried in a book about the Civil War? It was possible she had already walked by him several times because of that, but who was I to point that out? Instead I made my way out into the crisp September air.

* * *

By the time I was sitting in front of the upright, I was calm enough to meet my new student. I didn't have any information on them; I was just told that they would meet me in the assigned practice room at 4 PM. It was now 10 til and I was doing a breathing technique to loosen my tense muscles. I had found that it helped relax me so the music would flow through me easier.

A few minutes later I heard the door open and looked up to see a beautiful girl coming into the practice room. She had curly strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes. She smiled at me flirtatiously and held out her hand. "Well hello," she purred. "You must be Edward. I've heard _so_ much about you." Then she winked. I didn't know what it was about her, but I felt revolted. _Was this how I made women feel when I admired them so openly?_

"Yes. I'm Edward. And you are…" I trailed off, waiting for her to supply me with her name.

". It's so wonderful to finally meet you Edward. I've been looking forward to it for the last few days. I just know we'll become wonderful _friends_." This was going to be difficult. I didn't feel any kind of attraction toward this girl and now I was going to be stuck with her for an hour, twice a week. She left little question as to where her interests lay with me, I would just have to steer her in the right direction, quickly.

I just kept thinking about the use of the grand piano and decided I'd grin and bare it. She was going to quickly become a necessary evil in my life. "Well Tanya," I started in a very businesslike tone, hoping to quash her hopes of bedding me as soon as I humanly could. "It looks like you've signed up for lessons twice a week. Have you ever played the piano before?"

By the look on her face, I could tell she felt insulted. I wondered briefly if she had ever been shot down by a guy before and instantly figured not. Girls like her didn't have to beg for attention. They garnered it and acquired it with little to no fuss at all. It was something that girls that looked like her got used to. Most of them turned it into some kind of game. But that was a game that I wasn't interested in playing.

"Um, yes actually." She was momentarily stunned. Not used to having men not fall at her feet had thrown her off her stride. "But not until recently."

"Oh? Why the recent interest in learning to play?" Getting to know her reasons might help me form some kind of lesson plan for her. It would tell me the type of music she wanted to play, and her reasons would give me an insight into how hard she was willing to work.

"I'm a music major here, but vocals are my forte. If I want to be taken seriously in the music industry at a later point, I'll need to know how to play." It made sense, and for a moment I despised her for being able to do what she wanted. Since that wasn't a luxury that I would be afforded, I needed to brush it off and move on.

"Well then, let's see what you know and that will give me an idea of how hard you'll need to work." I moved over on the bench, allowing her room to sit next to me. When she did, she sat entirely too close and batted her eyes at me.

"Where would you like me to start?" Her purr was back and it seemed she regained her stride. This was definitely going to be a lot harder than I thought it would. Why couldn't they have given me someone less confident, or maybe someone nerdy? Those kinds of people wouldn't spend the majority of the lesson flirting with me instead of getting to the task at hand.

I moved away from her slightly and raised a brow at her. "Let's start with your scales. C Major." And with that, my life as a piano instructor had begun.

* * *

When my lesson with Tanya was over, I had a pounding headache. She had shamelessly and relentlessly flirted with me. She was not subtle about it at all either. She made it abundantly clear that she was sexually interested in me and had the audacity to pass me her phone number and dorm information when she left. She had said it was in case I needed to get in touch with her before the next lesson, but I hadn't missed the emphasis she had placed on getting in _touch_ with her. I groaned inwardly to myself.

The lesson had run about 10 minutes over, something I was going to surely rectify in the future with an egg timer. My old instructors had used one, so it wouldn't look unusual if I decided to as well. And as an added benefit, it would keep my time spent with her to the absolute minimum only. But now was what I had been waiting for all day.

When I went to sign in for my own practice time, the log showed that my room was available early. Instead of only having two hours, I would have about 15 minutes more. After today's lesson it would be much needed. I also decided to book the room for the same time period for the next day I had lessons with Tanya. It was apparent that I was going to need them.

I got my blank sheet music out of my bag and placed it in front of me. There was a tune that had manifested in my dreams that I needed to put down on paper. I didn't know where it had come from, but it was such a hauntingly sweet melody that I had a need to write it. None of my previous works had come to me as strongly as this one had. And none of them were as passionate and compelling.

I closed my eyes and let my fingers move over the keys on their own. From the opening bars, I was entranced. This was going to be my finest work. I got through the first 10 bars and hit a sour note. My eyes flew open and my teeth clenched. _No. That's not right. _But I couldn't seem to find the correct notes. In my dreams it had flowed so serenely and quietly, like a lullaby. But I had never written a lullaby nor had the desire to in the past.

Perhaps I needed to find where my motivation had come from so that I could know where the music was supposed to go. I closed my eyes again trying to think back to when I had first had the dream. It hadn't been in Chicago, so that narrowed it down to the past 4 days. But what had happened in the last 4 days that would have prompted a lullaby? Again my eyes flew open, but this time in shock.

Truck girl. She was the only interesting thing that had happened to me since I had gotten here. Could she be the inspiration for this new piece? How could that be though? I didn't even know her or anything about her for that matter. How could she have inspired such an amazing piece of work? Did she even _like_ lullabies? Now more than ever I needed to find her and find out what made her tick.

I sat there working over the piece little by little. It was far from finished, but it was coming together by small degrees. I glanced at the clock and was shocked; I had gone over my time by almost 15 minutes. No one was waiting outside for me, so I figured that I must be the last person here for the day, but I didn't want to push my luck. I packed up my bag and made my way out of the building. It was a nice night and the moon was already out, peeking out from behind a cloud.

I had never really taken the time to admire the scenery since I had arrived. I looked around and for the first time noticed how nice the campus actually was. The lawns were tended well, the trees were just starting to change with fall, and some of the flowers were still in bloom. There was beauty all around me that I had never even looked at. It shamed me to think that I had been so lost in myself that I had neglected to notice these little things.

A little voice in my head hissed at me viciously, _'when have you ever?'_ I stopped, shocked at the revelation. I hadn't. My entire life I had never once really noticed my surroundings. Other than the girls, I had never looked at nature or the sky. I had never noticed how a flower tilts its head toward the sun. Never saw the butterflies flitting their way along. Didn't see the changing of the leaves in the spring and the fall. Or how beautiful the barren winter landscape could really be.

Was I really that shallow? Was I so self-centered that nothing mattered but what was happening in my own little bubble? And why was I suddenly starting to notice these things now? Nothing had really changed for me. I was still bitter about where I was headed in my life. I still hated my parents for their lack of attention. Still sour over their indifference to my music. An angry voice brought me out of my trance.

"You have a nerve don't you." I glanced over in the direction of the voice and my breath caught. There she was. Truck girl. And she was yelling at someone. "No Mike. I won't have coffee with you. Not now, not ever. I wasn't kidding when I said I wasn't having _any_ kind of relationship with you. Good night." I looked closer and noticed who she was yelling at.

I had to chuckle. Mike Newton. I shook my head at the irony of the situation. I had completely forgotten that Mike was also enrolled here. He was a year ahead of me and we had never gotten along. In fact, he hated me with a passion. Who could blame him though? In high school he never seemed to have any luck with the ladies, something that Jasper, Emmett, and I had made sure of.

He was the whiny son of one of the local business owners. It wasn't as if any of the girls would have really wanted him to begin with, we were simply doing them a favor by taking him out of the equation. But it was something that he always held against us. I figured leading a life doomed to sloppy seconds would have made me bitter as well. And of course he would find _her_ and try his luck. _Looks like we'll have a repeat of high school_. I was certainly up for the challenge.

She noticed me watching her and she froze in her tracks. Not wanting to make myself known to Newton yet, I decided to just head on back to the dorm. Maybe if I played my cards right I could figure out where she was staying. I just had to be clever and not spook her. So I just put my head down and walked with purpose. Not too slow, and not too fast. Just enough that I knew she'd keep pace with me.

Every once in awhile I would peek back to make sure she was still there. Sure enough, she made her way silently behind me. I started up the stairs and made sure to take notice what floor she stopped at. When I got to the landing between the second and third floors I was bombarded with the memory of her in my arms. I almost lost my resolve at that moment and turned to speak to her, but I didn't want to scare her away, so I continued up.

When I rounded the corner to head up to the fourth, I was certain she was stopping at the third. Wouldn't I have seen her again already if she was on the same floor as me? There was no way I would have missed her. Or could I have? No, impossible.

I kept on, still taking notice of whether or not she exited to the third floor, but she didn't. She was still right there behind me. Was she following me? Was it possible that she wanted to talk to me? I again thought about turning around to face her, but then decided against it. I would give her the chance to approach me first then she was less likely to run away before I found out at least her name.

I walked down the hall and turned the corner to head to my room. I knew she had followed me out of the exit, so she should still be right behind me. I thought I heard someone gasping for air, but it was drowned out by the sound of a door slamming. I had about had enough of the wait and I wanted to know why she was following me to my dorm. I spun around, ready to face her down.

"Can I help y…" there was no one there. But where could she have gone? It wasn't as if she could have just vanished. But where could she be? I walked back toward the corner and peeked around, checking to make sure she wasn't standing there, waiting for me to get to my door before coming up behind me. But she was nowhere to be found. I could hear the sound of someone shouting, but their voices were too muffled to make out the words.

_Girls. Always fighting with each other._ Why else would the girls in 408 be yelling? I walked closer to the door, trying to make out what they were saying. It sounded garbled, but I could faintly hear "--lla!" _Hmmm. Doesn't sound like arguing. What are they talking about?_ I shrugged it off and made my way back down to my room, still wondering what could have happened to her.

I unlocked the door and found Jasper and Emmett sitting on the couch watching ESPN, as usual. "Hey guys. What's up?"

Emmett looked up and shrugged, "Nothing much. Just watching Sports Center."

"Anything good?"

"Nope, just recaps. How was your lesson?"

I groaned again, reminded of the insistent Tanya. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you." That got Jasper's attention.

"What happened?"

So I told them all about Tanya and her over-confidence. We all agreed on how unattractive that could be. It made women seem too easy if they were that bold. Why else would she basically tell me she wanted to sleep with me? Not only that, but it went against everything we had agreed to look for in a girl. Tanya was definitely off the list of possibilities. But right now, the only person I had on that list was _her._ Which reminded me…

"Did I mention the fact that I saw Newton?" They both cracked up laughing and wanted to know how I managed to run into the weasel so quickly.

"Seems like he's taken an interest in truck girl too. Good thing for me she doesn't return that interest though."

"Poor Mike," Jasper said, but without any sympathy. None of us had ever liked the guy. Misplaced confidence was nearly as bad as over-confidence. Maybe I could find a way to hook Newton up with Tanya.

"Yeah, they were standing outside the library and she basically told him to get lost. Apparently he was bothering her earlier and had her cornered again to ask her out for coffee. _After_ she had already told him she wasn't interested. He can't even buy a clue."

"So you saw her again?" Jasper was sympathetic with me; after all he was still looking for his girl too.

So then I told them about the walk back to the dorm and how she was right behind me the whole way. I could see Emmett's eyes lighting up mischievously, but before he could get anything out I told them about her sudden disappearance.

"I just can't figure it out! I know she was right behind me. And I know that she was heading the same direction as me. I just can't figure out where she could have gone…" then I remembered the slamming door. And the raised voices. Could it be?

"What? You just thought of something, I can see it in your eyes." Jasper could always pick up on emotions and read them on your face.

"Well, it didn't dawn on me at the time, but when I turned the corner I thought I heard someone gasping for air. But right about the same time I heard a door slam and then raised voices coming from room 408. Do you think?"

"You mean she could be right down the hall? All this time you've been looking for her and she's only four doors down the fucking hall?" Emmett's eyes were wide with disbelief. Then he turned serious, "you think she could be roommates with that blonde girl?"

I went over the floor plan in my head, trying to figure out the singles, doubles, and triples on our floor. As it turned out 408 was a triple. There was an unholy gleam in my eye when I turned back to the guys. "I think all three of them are right down the hall." _Now we'd just have to do a little investigating._

_

* * *

  
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A/N: Whew. That was harder than I thought it was going to be! Wow. I just couldn't figure out how to write Edward's first day as a piano teacher. I hope I did it justice. And I hope y'all liked your little surprise. :evil grin: You didn't think I was going to make this easy for Edward and Bella did you? And what about the walk back to the dorm? lol

Anyway, another HUGE thanks to Jen2112 for taking this on as my beta. You're gonna be fantastic girl! I just know it!

And check out Thicker Than Water in the meantime. It's by Safest Time of the Day. I'm the co-writer, so obviously I think it's a great story, but I think y'all will too. Read Not Even Death first or you might be a little lost, TTW is the sequel. Well, I think that's about it for my notes. Hope you liked it. Please click the little button below and tell me what you think.

xoxo

Nan


	10. A Woman's Worth

**Disclaimer: I own a sinus infection straight from the fiery pits of hell and medication to treat it that knocks me on my ass.**

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Reeney-Twilightlover for being a loyal reader, and for writing Dammit Mike, which I totes love. :) Go read it. And another huge thanks to my beta extraordinaire, Jen2112. You rock chica! And you catch all my stupid commas. For that, I am eternally grateful.

"_Promise me you'll always remember. You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~A. A. Milne_

_**Chapter Nine – A Woman's Worth**_

BPOV

I should have known she'd gone shopping for more clothes for me. Of course, after my near breakdown on Tuesday night, she was nice enough not to mention it. But all day yesterday I had to model my new clothes to see what they liked and what was going back to the store. Apparently Alice had a very good eye though and everything she picked fit their standards. I just wish it fit mine as well.

I had to work again tonight, and by the grace of God I didn't have to work with Mike again. Unfortunately, I _did_ have to work with him for a few hours tomorrow night though. Thankfully his shift was earlier than mine and he would be leaving at 5:00.

I had fully expected to be dragged off to some store or another before I had to work, but when I came out of the room Alice was nowhere to be found. That was odd considering she was always back with the coffee by this time. I had gotten used to having it right when I woke up and not having to wait for it.

I looked at the clock again to make sure I had seen it correctly and confirmed my earlier thoughts. Alice was late. But Alice was _never_ late. I started to get worried before I remember that it was bright outside already and it wasn't likely that anyone had grabbed her. Plus, she looked fairly spunky and I was certain if someone tried, they'd find they had bitten of more than they could chew.

_So where is she then?_ I looked around, but there was no note. Rosalie had gone down to the showers not long ago, so she wasn't with her. No matter how many times I told myself she was okay, I couldn't help but worry nonetheless. Just then, I heard a key in the door and sighed in relief. _I knew she was fine._

It wasn't Alice. My face must have shown my worry because Rose cocked one perfectly plucked brow at me, silently asking me what was wrong. After Tuesday night we had slowly begun to more than just tolerate each other. I wouldn't say we were friends per se, but at least there was no longer any animosity between us anymore.

"Did you see Alice in the hall?" Her brows scrunched together in confusion before she smoothed them out.

"No. Isn't she back yet? She said she was running right down to the bakery and coming right back. She should have been back about 10 minutes ago."

"I know. She's not here though. You don't think something happened do you?" The worry was creeping back into my voice. I couldn't stand to think of anything happening to her.

"Let's calm down for a minute. Maybe there was a line, or she got sidetracked." _That never happens,_ my mind sadistically whispered to me. "Did you try calling her cell phone?"

Suddenly I felt silly. Of course I hadn't tried her cell. When I hadn't seen her in the room, my mind immediately went into panic mode. Again, my face gave me away and Rose smirked at me. "I'll go do that now."

I went back into our bedroom and picked up my cell off the bedside table. _No missed calls._ That didn't mean anything though, so I scrolled through to her name and hit send. After two rings, her bubbly voice flooded my ears. "Hey Bells! I have the _best_ news! I'll be there in about 5, don't go anywhere!" Then she immediately hung up.

I looked at my phone in confusion for a moment. _I hadn't even gotten word in. _I walked back out into the living area, phone still in hand, to find Rosalie watching some show on TV. She glanced up at me and noticed my expression.

"Is something wrong?" _Great! Now I'm getting her all worked up too._

"Um, I don't think so…" I trailed off and looked down at my phone once more. I was still very confused and had no idea what was about to happen. "Alice said she'd be here in about 5 minutes and not to go anywhere."

"And?"

"And she said she had the best news, but she hung up on me before I could even say anything," Rosalie's laughter rang out through the room.

"That sounds just like Alice," she shook her head and went back to her show.

True to her word, 5 minutes later Alice came strolling through the door with a beaming smile. I eyed her warily, already knowing not to trust that smile. She twirled into the room, coffee in hand, and went to set it down on the table. Although she was usually very graceful already, there seemed to be a new bounce in her step.

"Good morning, my lovely and beautiful friends!" She danced over and kissed me on the cheek before making her way over to do the same to Rose. We shot each other a glance and then both looked expectantly at Alice. As usual, Rose was the first to break the silence.

"You want to tell us what's going on?" Alice just beamed at us.

"I just went to get coffee," she had a sly grin on her face now, and I could feel the worry creeping over me again.

"Bullshit." _Very succinct, Rose._

"What? Can't a girl just run down to the bakery to get coffee?" She was batting her eyelashes at us and we glanced at each other again.

"Um, Alice? No one is saying you didn't get coffee, but you're almost 20 minutes late," I was trying to sound firm, but I was still worried about her. She broke into peals of laughter, which confused me even more.

"It was the most _wonderful_ 20 minutes of my life!" She grabbed Rose's coffee and took it over to her, then sat down next to her on the couch. "I met my soul mate today at the coffee shop."

Rose lifted one eyebrow at her. _I wish I knew how to do that._ "Your soul mate, eh? Really, Alice. You don't believe in that do you?"

She looked affronted, but then a dreamy look came over her face. "Of course I do. Jasper is the one for me." Rose and I were silent, waiting for her to continue, but she was just staring off into space with a small smile lingering at the corners of her mouth.

"Alice? Are you gonna tell us what happened?" I couldn't handle it anymore. I just needed to know what this Jasper guy was like and how he had managed to woo Alice so completely.

"He spilled coffee on himself." She giggled at the memory, but neither Rose nor I really got the joke. She saw our looks of confusion and backtracked to give us the whole story.

"I went down to the bakery to get coffee, like I always do and there was this guy standing at the counter in front of me. Apparently he hadn't heard me come in and when he went to turn around, he lost his grip on the tray of coffees." She smiled that small smile again to herself and her eyes got misty.

"Well, what happened then?" Rose wanted answers, and she wanted them now.

"The coffee was just about to spill on me, which would have been terrible considering this is a brand new sweater and it's one of my favorites. Do you know how hard it is to find a sweater in this color and blend that fits me correctly? I nearly had to wrestle another woman in the store for this one and it was the last one!

I can't even imagine the horror of trying to find a replacement for it if anything happened. I actually think it may have been part of a limited collection for this season's fall line." She stopped there for a minute, but before she could gear up to go on about the sweater again, I cut her off.

"Alice, what about Jasper?"

"Oh yeah, right. So anyway, right when the coffee was about to tilt out of his control I closed my eyes, just waiting for the burn. But he flicked his wrist around and the whole tray dumped down the front of his shirt. Have you ever heard of anything so romantic?" She had that dreamy look on her face again and she was lost in her own thoughts.

I didn't know if I would necessarily consider it romantic, but it was clear that she did and was sold on this guy. Rose and I just continued to exchange glances, making it clear we would talk more about it later.

Suddenly, Alice perked up and gave me that wicked smile again, setting me on edge. "I almost forgot! I didn't even tell you the best part yet." He gaze was still locked on me and I wasn't sure I wanted to know what came next.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

"Guess who he's roommates with." I felt that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, the one I could only associate with one person. My face paled and my eyes went wide.

"No." It barely came out as a whisper. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I guess in a theoretical sense, it had.

"Oh, yes. In fact, he's rooming with both of the guys we saw him with at that pub last week."

"Well, isn't _that_ interesting," Rose purred. "And where, dear Alice, is this room full of gorgeous men?" She looked like she already knew, but in a way I guess we all had an idea after Tuesday night. Alice smirked and looked directly at me again.

"It's funny you ask, Rose. It seems like there is a room full of absolutely stunning men right down the hall in room 412."

I couldn't believe it. I had hoped that we were wrong. How was I possibly going to avoid him if he was just a few doors down the hall? How could life be that cruel to me? _Just calm down Bella, you've managed to avoid him fairly well so far. Except for the other night._

Even my mind wasn't helping. I felt my breath coming in gasps again and turned to flee the room. I just had to get out of here. I ran in our bedroom and quickly threw on some clothes.

* * *

That evening, I couldn't keep my mind off of Alice and her budding romance. She was serious when she said Jasper was her soul mate. Not that I believed in any of that. I didn't need to have any experience with romance to know that stuff like that only happened in storybooks.

My entire day was consumed with these thoughts. Who really truly believed in love at first sight anyway? Despite romance novels and movies, that kind of love doesn't really exist. Besides, who really wants a storybook romance anyway? Wouldn't it be just a fictional and fake as the story it was based on?

It's not like a guy would ever truly live for you, die for you, or give up everything he had for you. Chivalry and the like are dead. True gentlemen aren't even a dying breed anymore. They are, in essence, extinct. And even if there was someone out there made just for me, how would I ever find him?

Even if I did somehow manage to find him, how could anyone ever fall for someone as insecure and neurotic as me? They say in order to truly find love you have to love yourself first. _Yeah, like that will ever happen._

On my entire walk home I thought more about loving myself and if it was possible. _What is there to love? _I'd have to overlook so many overwhelming obstacles to love me. I'm clumsy, I'm shy, I tend to live in my books, and I have an inability to articulate my wants and needs. _Line up all you eligible bachelors._ I scowled to myself as I trudged up the stairs.

It's not even like I'm even remotely beautiful. I have blah brown hair, blah brown eyes, pale skin, and I'm too skinny. Gangly even. Who would ever notice someone as plain as me when there are girls like Rosalie around? Even Alice was gorgeous. I was so outgunned.

I walked into our dorm and slammed the door before I realized we had company. My steps faltered and I nearly lost my balance before I could catch myself. Sitting on our couch was a tall lanky blonde guy with soft blue eyes. He had a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips and I suddenly liked him all the better for it. Just like that the tension left my body.

I carefully made my way over and extended my hand, "You must be Jasper."

"Yes ma'am, and you must be Bella. I've already heard _so_ much about you." His eyes were twinkling with secrets. I shot a glance at Alice but she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh, really?" I gave him a half smile and raised my brows. "Care to share?"

"You seem to have met one of my roommates before. Edward remembers you vividly." His grin stretched across his face again and I knew I wouldn't get anymore out of him.

_Edward, eh?_ Somehow the name fit him. It may have been old fashioned, but I could see the bronze haired Adonis in the pages of _Mansfield Park_ as Edmund or _Jane Eyre_ as Edward. _Where did that thought come from? Must have been all that talk about storybook romances._

I grinned back at Jasper and gave him a wink. "Well, you make sure to tell Edward I said hey." Then I sauntered to our room as wild laughter broke out behind me.

I closed the door and dropped down on my bed. I grabbed my pillow and held it over my face and screamed into it. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I just do that? _Tell him I said hey? Seriously? _Why not just hand-deliver him a fucking invitation? Now he was going to talk to me for sure. I didn't want that! I can't talk to him! My tongue tied itself in knots the last time I had tried to talk to him. Not only that, but I'm the crazy girl who knocked him down in the stairwell.

Oh yeah, we can't forget about the whole following him home incident too. Might as well just stamp a huge S on my forehead for Stalker. Maybe I should I just take out an ad in the paper, no better I'll hire a skywriter. _My name is Bella. I'm totally lame. Did I mention I'm your stalker too? By the way, hey._

Jesus, what is wrong with me? I am so screwed. What am I going to do? It's not like I can just run away. I have to stay and face him. If he even approaches me, that is. I'll be calm, cool, and collected.

Who am I kidding? I'm a total fucking spazz! If I even think about him I nearly hyperventilate. Now I think I can just talk to him nonchalantly? _Yeah, when pigs fly._

I groaned again in frustration. How did I get myself into this mess? _Oh, right. I was just my normal clumsy self and I was rooming with Alice._ This was all her fault. She just _had_ to go and find her soul mate in his roommate didn't she? Traitor.

I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. I heard Jasper leave and I heard Alice and Rose come in and go to bed, but I didn't let either of them know I was still awake. I didn't want to talk about Edward. Even knowing his name made it worse. Now I couldn't just refer to him vaguely. Every time I thought about him, I would think _Edward._

I shouldn't even be thinking about him. I don't date. I don't want to. I don't want to get involved in a relationship. I don't even know the guy! Here I am, thinking about him in the middle of the night and all I know is his name. _And what he smells like._ My mind truly was evil.

I was sure I was in some kind of trouble. I didn't know when it was going to come, but I knew there was trouble coming. Why couldn't I have just remained the quiet girl that sits in class? I didn't want any attention. I didn't want people to know who I am. I just want to get an education and a degree so I can move on with my life.

But no, now I couldn't stop thinking about him. And apparently, he had been talking about me. Well, let him talk. I'll leave these funky premonitions to Alice.

My skin started feeling tingly and sleep finally took over me. That was the first night I dreamed about Edward.

* * *

A/N: So sorry it took so long. Life happened. We had parades, we had rallies, and we had a birthday. Not to mention I had a slight case of writer's block. I knew what I wanted to happen, but the characters weren't cooperating with me. Anyway, I can't make any promises on when I'll be updating. My life is only going to get busier here soon. So please, just be patient with me and I promise you _will_ get your updates. Just not as soon as you'd hope for.

XOXO

Nan


	11. Come Hell or High Water

**Disclaimer: I own the Twilight Special Edition DVD. That's probably as close as I'll get to ever owning Edward, sadly.**

A/N: First off, many apologies for the late update. I was working on a submission for the D/s Birthday contest, and let me tell you, it really kicked my ass. Hours of research were put into it. It's called The Mistress and Her Master. Go read it, then vote! But please don't read it if you're under 18… srsly.

"_People only see what they are prepared to see." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson_

_**Chapter Ten – Come Hell or High Water**_

EPOV

As usual, my thoughts were plagued by _her_. Truck girl. It was beginning to frustrate me to no end. Never in my life had I thought so much about one girl, then again, never in my life had I wanted one as much as I wanted her. It was throwing me off my stride.

At least I knew where she lived now. And wasn't it a stroke of luck that she happened to be right down the hall? I didn't want to dwell on how I had missed her all the time, or how she had managed to avoid me. Thoughts like that were sure to only piss me off.

Instead I thought about her eyes, so warm and deep. All I had to do was close my own eyes to remember how lost I felt staring into their penetrating depths. Her hair, so soft and fragrant. I could still feel it ghosting across my skin as it surrounded us both. Her lips, so luscious and full. I wanted to feel them, to taste them. Her body, so soft, yet so firm. I imagined my hands running over her, pleasuring her. Her voice, so timid and shy. I wanted to hear it again. Saying my name, whispering in my ear, screaming with desire. I shook myself out of my daze, shocked at myself and more than a little turned on. What was this girl doing to me? I still didn't even know her name!

One thing was certain; I would make her mine. Whether she knew it or not, I did. There was no other way it could be. No way at all. I wake up every morning thinking of her, go to sleep every night dreaming of her, and spend the entirety of my days wanting her. It was getting out of control.

I glanced at my clock and noticed it was nearly 8:30. Jasper should be back with my coffee by now. It was the second best way to start my day. The only thing better would be if a certain brunette woke up beside me. But that would happen soon enough.

I walked out into the living area and was greeted by emptiness. No chattering TV, no Jasper, and the most depressing thing about it, no coffee. He was supposed to be here with my morning brew. It was our routine. It was sacred. What on Earth could possibly have been more important than our most sacred routine?

I sat on the couch and glared at the door, willing it to open. I could still faintly hear Emmett snoring away from the other room, and that only enraged me further. Who wanted to listen to that rumbling without their morning coffee? Certainly not me. I contemplated going in there and dumping him out of his too small bed, just so someone else would be as irritated as I was.

After 15 minutes of muttering and glaring, I finally heard the sound of keys in the door. I launched myself off the couch, desperate for my morning fix, but froze when Jasper walked in. He was a fucking mess. His shirt was untucked and unbuttoned, and was that coffee all down the front of him? I groaned to myself.

"Please tell me that's not my fucking coffee all over your shirt." I shot him my most lethal look, hoping he would be ashamed of himself for committing a crime so heinous. But he didn't even look at me. It was more like he was looking right _through_ me. He had this ridiculous fucking smile on his face and I instantly wanted to punch him. _That fucker met a girl._ I glared at him once more, and just because it would make me feel better, I punched him in his shoulder.

He turned that goofy smile toward me and beamed at me. He actually had the audacity to beam at me when I hadn't had my morning coffee. Did he _want_ to die? I crossed my arms over my chest

"What?" He still had that goofy look on his face, and it was apparent he hadn't been paying one bit of attention to me.

"My fucking coffee! Tell me that's not what's all over your god damn shirt!" I was enraged. My routine was broken, I had no coffee, and I was about to go through the fucking roof.

He looked down at himself like he had no clue his shirt was a fucking mess. Then he smiled at me again. "Sorry about that." Then he turned to go sit on the couch. I just stood there, stunned. What the fuck was _wrong_ with him?

"Is that all? You're sorry? What the fuck happened? Did you get jumped? There's got to be a good reason you showed up here looking like that, and without my coffee!" No one would be kidding if they said I wasn't a morning person.

"Of course I didn't get jumped. I met Alice." _Who the hell?_ Just when I was getting ready to ask that, he continued, "She was behind me at the coffee shop and I nearly spilled our drinks on her. Good thing I didn't or she might not have ever talked to me." He looked so happy, I didn't want to bring him down, but I didn't have any fucking coffee.

"Okay. Trying to not get pissed off here seeing as though you didn't replace my coffee, but who the hell is Alice?"

"The girl with the yellow Porsche." My mind spun in a million different directions. If he met her, it was a good possibility he knew more about _her._

"So… Alice, huh?" I was going to need to be sneaky about this. "And what did you guys talk about?"

"I didn't ask her about Truck Girl, so don't get your hopes up." _Well, fuck me. Here I thought I was being stealthy._ "I did find out she lives right down the hall with her two roommates though." His brow quirked because he knew I'd find that interesting. "She asked about you specifically. Wanted to know if I was rooming with the 'bronze-haired guy' she saw me with the other day."

"Did you ask why?" My hands were starting to get clammy.

"Didn't have to. She said one of her roommates had bumped into him the day before that. Did you happen to bump into any other girls that same day?" He was snickering at me now. Much like he and Emmett had both been since the whole story came out. They still found it hilarious that I had knocked her over in the stairwell.

"No, I didn't. It's got to be the same girl. What room are they in?"

"What room do you think?" Then he smirked at me, and I had my answer.

Neither of us noticed Emmett come into the room, which was shocking considering his sheer size. We both jumped a foot when his voice boomed out, "Is she rooming with the blonde too?" All I could do was laugh. We were all done for. Every fucking one of us.

* * *

I had to mentally prepare myself for my lesson tonight with Tanya. She hadn't taken kindly to me shooting her down, and I was silently praying that she would have let it go by now. Those hopes were dashed when she walked in wearing next to nothing and slid as close to me as possible on the bench.

"So, Eddie…what did you want to do with me tonight?" Her eyes were twinkling at me and I didn't miss the double entendre. But I didn't want to _do_ anything with her. I just wanted to give her piano lessons and go on my way. Why did life have to be so damn complicated? I wanted to cringe when she called me that. I _hated_ being called Eddie, especially by Tanya.

"First thing, don't call me Eddie. Ever. Second, why don't we start with your scales?"

Gruff was the name of the game, and I was sticking to it like glue. I didn't want her to get any further ideas. In fact, I wanted to find a way to shoot down the ideas she already had.

All throughout the lesson, Tanya would rub her leg against mine. She sat entirely too close for comfort, and she was batting her eyes at me. Her scent was strong, like she had doused herself in perfume before walking in here and it made me want to gag. It was overly floral, like hothouse roses just gone to wilt. I was getting nauseous and felt like I was swimming in the scent. It was nothing like _hers_. A small smile came to my face just thinking about _her_.

Tanya mistook it as a smile for her and ran her hand from my shoulder to my hand. "Time's up Eddie. Why don't we get out of here and go somewhere a little more… _private._"

I jerked my hand away from her and glared at her. Subtlety obviously wasn't working. Perhaps crass would. "No Tanya. I thought I made it clear that I wasn't interested in you. Am not now, and will never be. _Your type_," I gestured to her overly-provocative outfit, "shouldn't have any trouble finding someone _willing_ to play your games. Count me out."

She was shooting daggers at me with her eyes and her breasts were heaving. The sight didn't even arouse me a little. "And furthermore, if you can't let this go, I'll have to suggest you find yourself a new private teacher." With that, I grabbed my things and stormed out of the practice booth and down the hall to the one I had signed up for.

My anger was taking over me and I could feel it bubbling under the surface. The music poured out, hot and angry. My fingers flew across the keys and the sound scorched the air. This wasn't peaceful music, nor was it meant to soothe my soul. This was pissed off, fuck the world, leave me alone music.

Not too long before, I would have gladly jumped at the chance to romp between the sheets with a girl like Tanya. The difference was that a girl like Tanya wouldn't be interested in just one romp. She had 'calculating bitch' written all over her. And even more, that was all before I found myself in a tumbled heap in the stairwell of my dorm with _her._ Ever since then, I couldn't even see anyone else.

As my mind focused on her once again, the tune changed. The fire fizzled out and all that was left was that lingering melody that had been haunting me. _Her_ lullaby. The passion rose and ebbed as it poured out of me. One part of my mind demanded to stop and write the notes down while the other insisted on continuing, vowing to commit each note to memory.

Once again I lost track of time while I was composing this piece. Or rather, while it composed itself through me. I had never before written anything as fulfilling and beautiful as this one piece. It seemed to overshadow everything else I had ever done in my life. I didn't want to linger on the reason why for now.

I reluctantly gathered my things and made my way home. There was a crisp breeze that blew my hair in every direction. As I was coming up on the library, there was something else on the breeze too. A faint scent. Strawberries and freesia. I whipped my head around and once again saw _her_ coming out of the library.

I stood there for a moment watching her. There was something about her that called to me, drew me in. Like a siren. I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of watching and waiting. I want her. I will make her mine. Even as she stumbled, I was still drawn to her presence. She was beckoning me.

I was certain by this point that she was my missing half, my better half. She has to be the one that can finally complete me and make me whole. Ever since she barreled into my life, it's been brighter. She's the reason I get up each day, just on the off chance I might finally run into her again.

I need to hold her, to know her, to love her, to possess her. I want to claim her and somehow mark her as mine. Not to spite Mike, although that _will_ be a nice side benefit. But I want her for her. Nothing else matters. As a plan formed in my head, I silently followed her to our dorm. Tomorrow was a new day. Truck girl didn't stand a chance.

* * *

TPOV

I followed that asshole out of the practice room and down the hall. I couldn't believe the things he said to me. The nerve! Calling me a whore, just without the actual word. Like the meaning would slip right over my head. As if. I would just have to make him see reason.

I was shocked to hear the anger pouring out of the keys. When I had done my research**,** nothing had clued me in that he was so gifted a pianist. Nothing I had ever done had equaled his mastery of the keys. It made me want him all the more.

Most people thought I was a bimbo, but I knew what I was doing. When I had first started researching the men here at Dartmouth, there were several options open to me. I had narrowed it down to two guys, Edward Cullen and Royce King. Both were extremely attractive and both came from ridiculous amounts of money. What tipped the scales for me was Edward's musical talent. I could just imagine him serenading me every night. Yes, I had chosen well.

I was lost listening to his music, even if it was angry. Then, without warning, the tune shifted. It was such a sweet melody that was barely floating through the thick paned door. I peeked around, praying he wouldn't see me, trying to catch a glimpse of him while he played. His eyes were closed and a small smile graced his cruel lips. I wanted to know what made him smile that way. I wanted to know why he didn't smile at me that way.

When he was finished, I ducked back around the corner and waited a minute before following behind. I wanted to know more about Edward Cullen. The man I would someday marry. I had to find out his weaknesses. I had to know what made him tick. I would make him mine. He didn't stand a chance.

I nearly balked when he suddenly stopped near the library. I was certain he had discovered me and was going to give me another lashing, but he never looked my way. Instead he was staring ahead, looking at something else. From my vantage point all I could see was some girl. He couldn't possibly be looking at…wait a minute. He _is_ looking at her. Looking at her with such longing, like he wanted her. _But,_ _why?_

I stood there silently fuming. There was no way he wanted her over me. _I _staked prior claim. How could some mousy, insignificant, boring girl like that retain his interest? She doesn't deserve someone like him. She doesn't even hold a candle to me. How could he have turned me down, _scorned_ me for some Plain Jane nobody like that? It just wasn't possible.

In that moment I made a decision. I will find out who she is and I will destroy her. Nothing will stand in my way. A girl like me does her research well, and a girl like me deserves to be on the arm of a rich, successful, powerful doctor like him. And most importantly, a girl like me _always_ gets what she wants, despite the competition. They say, 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.' Whoever 'they' are obviously never met me.

* * *

­­

A/N: First, I want to thank my masta beta Jen2112 who is all kinds of awesomey goodness. She pushes me when I need it. Thank her for me getting this out to you now. Again I want to apologize for the delay in getting this out to you. So many things happened since the last time I updated.

As I mentioned before, I entered the D/s Birthday Contest. That was quite the undertaking, let me tell you that. But if you're of age, I want you to run your cute little butts right on over to DefinitelySpoilt's profile and vote, preferably for me.

I owe a HUGE thank you (other than of being my masta beta) to Jen2112 for the 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' bit. Do you see why I love her? And why she's so fucking brilliant? If not, a pox on you. And big giant congratulations for getting engaged over the weekend…

May God be with you and bless you.  
May you see your children's children.  
May you be poor in misfortunes  
and rich in blessings.  
May you know nothing but happiness  
from this day forward.

XOXO

Nan


	12. First, Second, or Third Sight

**Disclaimer: I own enough clothing to open a small boutique. But no Edward. And nothing from Shakespeare either.**

A/N: Okay – we're really rocking now. The foundation is set, and our two lovebirds will be meeting soon. I'm gonna change the format slightly from here on out. Instead of alternating chapters, from now on we'll have them both in the same chapter. This means two things… first, there will be longer chapters and second, they might take a little longer to get out to you. But that's okay, right? Right?

So anyway, this chapter is dedicated to one of my new reviewers and readers, Bellavampiresbetterthanyou. She read every chapter almost straight through and reviewed them all which finally got me to 100+ reviews! And she went into such great detail in her reviews and made me laugh. Plus she threatened me. I think its love. :) In any case, check out her story Sex and the Supernatural. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

"_Sometimes you put up walls, not to keep people out; but to see who cares enough to break them down." ~Unknown_

_**Chapter Eleven – First, Second, or Third Sight**_

BPOV

I woke up feeling groggy and irritable. Last night, I tossed and turned, my dreams overwhelmed by Edward. I wished so deeply that I could go back to Forks, go back to being the quiet girl in the corner, but that wouldn't fulfill my dreams of Dartmouth. I would not run. I would not hide. I was going to be a strong, independent woman. But that didn't mean my body didn't yearn for him.

All of this was frighteningly new territory for me. Here I was an 18 year old virgin, amongst an entire campus full of experienced people. Well, maybe not. But what were the odds that there were other 18 year old virgins here? Not likely. I was a dying breed. Maybe if I had taken my head out of a book long enough, I could have found someone that meant enough to me to be intimate with. But that all seemed so ridiculous back in Forks.

Here at Dartmouth, I felt inadequate. Inexperienced. And most of all, I was more than a little intimidated. I made my way over to the mirror and looked at myself; it wasn't as if I was ugly. I just wasn't like Rose or Alice, or any of the other girls on the campus for that matter. I guess you could call me awkward, but not all of that was in my looks though. A lot of that had to do with the way I carried myself, the way I walked, and the way I talked. I felt awkward therefore I _was_ awkward.

I pulled my skin taught and tried to highlight my cheekbones. That only made me look asinine. For once in my painfully shy existence, I wanted to be beautiful, but I also wanted to be comfortable in my own skin. I sighed in defeat. This was obviously something that was way out of my comfort zone. I would need reliable help.

"Alice! Rosalie! You guys still here?" I called out through the semi-open door, almost wishing they weren't here so I could forget about this bizarre idea. My luck was up when Alice poked her head in the door.

"What's up, Bells?" She made her way over and sat Indian-style on her bed. Rosalie came in behind her and draped herself over her own bed.

I ran my fingers through my hair and huffed in frustration. I looked back at the mirror again and gestured to my reflection. "That's what's up, I want to be pretty. No. I want to be beautiful." Alice started squealing and bouncing on her bed while Rose raised her brow at me.

"Any particular reason, Bella?" Rosalie always was one to cut right to the chase.

"I'm tired of being awkward and I'm tired of being a virgin." The last part was said in a whisper. I was almost hoping that neither of them had heard me, but when my eyes met their wide ones in the mirror, I knew they had.

"You mean you've never…"

"No, Alice, I haven't."

"So you want to cash in your V-Card. Any particular person you want to give that to?" Rose smirked at me because I'm sure she already knew where this was going.

"Not necessarily, Rose." I didn't even sound convincing to myself. I sounded pathetic. It was obvious I was lying, but that didn't mean I had to come out and say it either.

"I don't think either of us buys that, but we'll let it slide for now, right Alice?" Rose had a smug look on her face, like she had been waiting all along for this to happen.

"You know what? Just forget I said anything." I made my way to the door, but before I had even taken five steps I was yanked back by both of them and shoved to my bed. Alice began dancing around the room grabbing things from here and there, but from my position, I wasn't able to see what any of it was. Rosalie was turning my face to and fro, examining it from every possible angle.

"You have good facial structure. That's a plus. We'll at least have something to start with."

"She's got a great figure too."

"Hair color works for her complexion."

"Her new wardrobe accentuates everything."

"A little snip here and there will make the style look fuller."

"Eyebrows will need minimal plucking."

"She better stop biting her nails."

"A good moisturizer will make her skin glow."

"As little makeup as possible will retain that wholesome look."

They were firing off suggestions so fast that I couldn't tell who was saying what. All I knew was that I was reaching a whole new level of terrified. They were going to pluck my eyebrows? _Lord, what have I gotten myself into?_

I was pulled from the bed and placed on a stool in front of the vanity, but my back was to the mirror. Someone had scissors, so I closed my eyes. I didn't want to know what was happening. I was afraid I would panic and bolt from the room if I saw them.

I sat in that chair for hours, or at least it seemed that way. I was exfoliated, moisturized, snipped, plucked, and made up. Clothes were flying in every direction and accessories were hanging from every fixture. Every time I would chance a peek, my nerves would try to get the better of me.

When they were finally done, I was peered at from every viable angle until they deemed me worthy. At some point, one of them had placed a sheet over the mirror to keep me from peeking. I wouldn't have had the nerve to do so otherwise, but I thought it wisest not to mention that.

Finally, they twirled me around and whipped the sheet from the mirror. My mouth fell open in shock. Surely the girl looking back at me had to be someone different. Sure she resembled Bella Swan, but she was sleeker, sexier, and a whole lot prettier. My eyes were wide and my mouth was still gaping. Both Alice and Rose were standing behind me. Alice was clapping and Rose was smiling. I assumed this meant success.

"I… is that… who… but what…" I couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence. I wanted to thank them, but that seemed so trivial compared to the miracle they had just performed.

Both of their smiles softened simultaneously. "You're welcome," they said in unison.

I launched myself at them and grabbed them both in a fierce hug. I felt my eyes watering up, but blinked them back viciously. I would not cry. "Thank you. Both of you. You made me beautiful."

Alice stepped back and looked me in the eye. "No Bella, you were already beautiful, we just highlighted it." Rose only smiled and gave a brief nod.

It didn't matter what she said. To me it was a miracle. I would never be able to repay them for what they had done. For once in my life, I didn't feel out of place. In fact, for the first time ever, I felt like I might just be able to fit in.

* * *

Later that evening I was working in the library again. Alice was disappointed to say the least. She thought we should be out celebrating my newfound confidence, secretly I thought that was moving a little too fast. I wasn't ready to take on the world yet, just a little piece of it at a time. Perhaps even someday soon I'd be able to face Edward again and not feel like a bumbling idiot. But not now. Not today. Today was for me.

I finished checking in the stack of library books that had been returned over the course of the day and loaded them onto the cart. Wandering through the stack and replacing all of the books was my favorite part of the job. I didn't have to talk to people that much and I was able to scan the selection I had before me.

I made my way through the law and medical sections and was working my way over to the reference section when I felt like I was being watched. I glanced around nervously, but there was no one there. I laughed it off and continued on my way.

When my cart was nearly empty, I had finally made it over to the fiction section of the library. I replaced the few books that were left and took a moment to scan the titles. Seeing one of my favorites, I pulled it off the shelf and ran my fingers down the spine. I had always loved studying Shakespeare and the library here had such a wide selection to choose from. I began flipping through the pages, losing track of myself and time when I heard _his_ voice whispering in my ear.

"_The Tempest_? A tale of love, betrayal, and forgiveness."

I dropped the book and spun around only to find his emerald green eyes staring deeply into mine. My heart was racing and my breathing became labored. "You… you know Shakespeare?"

"Admired Miranda!

Indeed the top of admiration, worth

What's dearest to the world! Full many a lady

I have eyed with the best regard, and many a time

Th' harmony of their tongues hath into bondage

Brought my too diligent ear; for several virtues

Have I liked several women; never any

With so full soul but some defect in her

Did quarrel with the noblest grace she owed,

And put it to the foil. But you, O you,

So perfect and so peerless, are created

Of every creature's best."

My heart was in my throat. Surely he didn't mean it. There was no way in the world he would find me so attractive, so desirable. I remembered the scene quite clearly. It was the scene in which Ferdinand professes his love for Miranda. All I could do was stare at him, wide eyed and slack jawed. He bent down and picked the book up off the floor and handed it back to me.

"I'm Edward, by the way. I never properly introduced myself the other day." He held his hand out and waited for me to speak. I wasn't sure if I could find my voice though.

"Bella," I whispered placing my shaking hand in his. As soon as our skin made contact, I felt that surge again. My body swayed, yearning to be against him again.

"Bella," He purred. "A pleasure to finally meet you." Then he brought my hand to his lips and brushed them across my knuckles. He should have looked ridiculous doing so, but he didn't. He looked perfect. "So you're a fan of Shakespeare I take it."

"Yes," I croaked. I immediately cleared my throat and tried again. "Yes, I am. I've always enjoyed Shakespeare."

His crooked grin flashed at me and I felt my knees go weak. "Me too. I much prefer the classics."

He couldn't be serious. This God-like man in front of me couldn't be that perfect. He had to be too good to be true. "Me too." That was all my jumbled brain could come up with.

Edward looked down before peeking up at me through his lashes. "Bella, I have something I need to tell you."

My knees were still shaking, and he looked so damn cute peering at me that way. I wanted to lap him up. I cleared my throat yet again, "Ummm… okay."

He shuffled his feet before he looked me square in the face. "I already knew your name. I just wanted to see if you'd actually talk to me."

That was it? It wasn't that shocking considering I knew his name as well. Jasper must have told him about our conversation the night before. I should have known. "Oh. Well," I blushed. Damn my stupid cheeks! "I already knew your name too. Your roommate told me last night."

He grinned his crooked grin at me again. "Yeah, Jasper told me." He just continued to look at me, almost as if he was trying to figure something out, but I didn't know what. His eyes would shift from my eyes to my lips and I wondered briefly if he was going to kiss me.

"Can I ask you something Bella?" My breath caught and all I could do was nod. "What time do you get off?"

I gulped, both elated and disappointed that he hadn't wanted to kiss me. I wasn't ready for that yet. "8:00."

He glanced at his watch and smiled. "Can I buy you some coffee in 5 then?"

_Was it already almost 8:00? I hadn't realized it was so late. _"Yes." My voice was breathy and I sounded like I had run a long distance. My heart was pounding and I was sure it would beat right through my chest.

He took my hand again and brushed his lips over my knuckles once more. "I'll be waiting." Then he turned and walked out of the library.

I made my way back up to the reference desk in a daze. I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me and that he hadn't really asked me out. I had always had a very vivid imagination, way too creative for my own good. _Yes, I more than likely dreamed up the last part._

I walked behind the desk and gathered my things. I just needed to get back to my room and lay down because my mind was sure to drive me crazy. I waved to the other girl there, I think her name is Kate and she would be closing up at 9:00.

I was still slightly dazed as I made my way out. My mind was wandering back to Edward and I bet out a breathy sigh. He probably knew exactly what effect he had on me. I wasn't watching where I was going and walked right into someone.

Two strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hard body. Warm breath tickled my ear and I heard his husky voice whisper, "We keep meeting this way, Bella." I let out a low moan and could have sworn I heard a sharp intake of breath.

His arms momentarily tightened around me and I whimpered. His body was so hard and firm. His scent was swirling around me, making me dizzy. I wanted to curl up into him, but instead took one shaky step forward. I turned and met his piercing green eyes. "I'm sorry."

His arms were still wrapped loosely around me. "No complaints here." His grin nearly stopped my heart. Then he held out his hand for mine, "Shall we?"

"Okay." I placed my small hand in his large one and let him lead the way.

* * *

The coffee shop wasn't too far away and we walked there in silence, my hand still in his. Neither of us had spoken, but the silence wasn't awkward and for some inexplicable reason, I felt comfortable with him.

When we walked into the warmth of the shop, the strong smell of coffee was overpowering. I was secretly thrilled because Edward's scent seemed to cloud my senses and I wanted to be sharp. Something told me that even while I felt safe and comfortable with him, I wouldn't want to let my guard down.

He led us over to an empty table and held my chair for me as I sat down. I was a little shocked by the courteous gesture and briefly considered that he might only be trying to impress me. I glanced at him, but he wasn't giving anything away.

The barista made his way over to us and we gave him our selections. "What can I get for youse?"

"Umm, I'll have an Iced Caramel Macchiato, please." I looked over at Edward and saw him smile at me. He _had_ to stop doing that.

"Caffé Misto, please." The barista nodded and made his way back to the counter. I was nervously playing with my fingers when I felt one of his hands take mine. I glanced up, meeting his eye and noticed he was grinning at me again.

"So, Bella," his eyes were twinkling at me and he looked so incredibly happy. "Tell me more about yourself."

What could he possibly find interesting about a small town girl like me? I quickly shook that thought out of my head and remembered that I wanted to be cool and confident. "What would you like to know, Edward?"

"Anything you want to tell me." He began toying with my fingers, staring me straight in the eye. "Why don't you start by telling me where you're from?"

I smiled back at him and prayed my body and breathing wouldn't betray me. "Nowhere special." I tried being coquettish and desperately hoped I was pulling it off.

His fingers continued stroking my palm and brushing my fingertips. "Is it a secret or something?" His eyes were amused, but not in a cruel way.

I leaned across the table conspiratorially, "If I told you, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you. That would be a shame."

His face lit with humor as he played along. "Is that right?" When I nodded my assent, he went on. "Well, I'd hate to die before I got to know you. Why don't we start with something simpler?"

Just then, the barista came back with our coffee. Edward gave him some money and he quietly left. His green eyes pierced mine again before he spoke. "Where were we?"

My heart was still hammering against my chest. I was afraid it might bruise my sternum if it kept up this furious pace. "You decided to ask me something other than where I'm from."

"Right. Well then, what's your favorite color?"

His line of questioning changed so quickly it threw me off course. I answered before my brain registered the reaction. "Green." My cheeks immediately flamed.

"Is there something wrong with green?" I felt my cheeks getting warmer and warmer.

"No. Nothing."

"Then why the blush?"

* * *

EPOV

This morning, I woke with a spring in my step. I finally had a plan in motion that might get me the chance to meet truck girl. That is, if she was really working at the library and not just studying. And if she was actually there tonight. But I wasn't going to let thoughts like that get me down. I was finally going to approach her, today.

I walked out of the room and found Jasper in his usual spot, sitting on the couch with coffee in hand. Emmett's and my coffee were sitting on the table. "Thanks man." I made my way over and picked up one large steaming cup. My day had just gotten even better.

Jasper was giving me an odd look. I glanced down at myself to make sure I had dressed before making my way out of the bedroom. Finding nothing amiss, I looked over at him questioningly, "What?"

"Nothing really. You just seem awfully chipper for someone who hasn't had their morning brew."

I shrugged. I didn't want to spill my plan just yet. Instead I walked over and sat on the other end of the couch. "So, you were out late last night with that Alice chick. How's that going?"

There was a flash of mischief in his eyes before he sobered up. "It's going good. She's great, absolutely great. I ended up walking her back to her dorm last night and chatting with her for an hour or so." He was trying to be nonchalant about it, but I had a feeling he was working his toward something.

"Oh really? And what did you talk about for an hour or so?"

"Just where we came from and what we are planning on doing while we're here. She's majoring in Theatrical Design. After talking with her for a little while, I'm thinking it's the perfect major for her."

While on one hand I was happy that Jasper had found his girl, the other hand couldn't help but be disappointed that he had no information for me. "That's great Jasper. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks man. I can't really explain it, but I just have a feeling about her."

I knew what he was talking about. I had the same feeling about truck girl, one that was inexplicable. It felt like there was some kind of force drawing me to her. "I think I know what you mean. I have that same feeling."

He was silent for a moment before he continued. "Those are all some really intelligent girls. Rosalie is majoring in Mechanical Engineering and Bella is majoring in English Literature." My ears perked up at that. _Bella._

"Rosalie and Bella?" I couldn't keep the interest out of my voice, so I didn't bother trying.

"Yeah, they're Alice's roommates." He was grinning at me. He knew what I wanted to know, but the bastard wouldn't just come out and say it.

"It's Bella isn't it?" Somehow I just knew. The name suited her perfectly. _Bella. Beautiful. Beautiful Bella._

"You know, there's a part of me that would love to string you along, but I don't have the heart to do it. She said to tell you hey." He burst out laughing at that but I didn't get the joke.

"Okay…" I raised one brow at him while he sat there holding his stomach, trying to contain his laughter.

"If you could have seen her face, man. She came barreling into the room last night and slammed the door before she realized anyone was there." He was still laughing, but I was able to make out what he was saying anyway. "Then she sobered up really quickly and was calm as hell right away. I told her that I'd heard a lot about her."

My stomach was sinking. There was no way he'd do that. A real friend wouldn't throw me under the bus that way. "Please Jasper, you didn't, did you?"

He was still cracking up and he was starting to gasp for air. "Yep, I sure did! I told her that she had met one of my roommates already and that Edward remembered her vividly."

That was all it took. I grabbed him and had him in a headlock before he could register the movement. "What else did you say?" I roared at him. I couldn't believe he would do something so underhanded.

"Nothing! Nothing, I swear!" He was shouting now too, but he was still laughing. "Right after that she said, 'Well you tell Edward I said hey,' and then she walked away."

"What the hell is going on out here?!?" Emmett was standing in the doorway of the bedroom in only his boxers. He had a pissed off look on his face. Apparently we had woken him up.

I dropped Jasper on the ground where he continued to roll around laughing. I wanted to kick him in the side, but that wouldn't have been very friendly of me. After all, he _had_ found out her name for me. "Nothing Emmett. Sorry we woke you. Jasper was being an idiot."

"I… was… not!"

"Get yourself under control asshole." I shoved him with the toe of my shoe.

After a couple more minutes, he was sitting on the couch again with a stupid grin on his face. At least he wasn't laughing anymore. Emmett had already gotten dressed and was drinking his coffee when he asked again. "Anyone want to tell me now what the hell was going on?"

Jasper started laughing once more and I just rolled my eyes. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

At seven that evening, I made my way over to the library. Apparently Jasper had gotten more information than he had initially let on. Alice was chock full of information about Bella. She had indeed gotten into Dartmouth on scholarship and came from a tiny town on the West Coast. Her father was the Chief of Police there, but either Alice didn't tell Jasper where it was, or she didn't know for sure.

Either way, she had also told Jasper about Bella working at the library and had disclosed her work schedule. Now I just had to utilize the information I had at hand. I planned on going in and watching her unobserved if at all possible. I wanted to see the way she moved when she thought no one was looking.

If I was going to be completely honest with myself, I just wanted to see her. And I was going to talk to her too. Nothing was going to stop me at this point.

Entering the library was an experience. I had never spent too much time in them in the past. I never had a need to. Libraries themselves always reminded me of Carlisle and his domain at home. Perhaps that was the reason I avoided them, but I was willing to overlook all of that for Bella.

I glanced around and noticed a girl sitting behind the reference desk. She had shoulder length dark hair and she was reading a book. Upon closer inspection I noticed her nametag said 'Kate.' She looked up as I got closer and smiled at me. It wasn't a flirtatious smile, but a welcoming one.

"Can I help you?" Her soprano voice was smooth, but it didn't affect me the same was Bella's did.

"No thanks. I was just going to look around."

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything." Then she went back to her book. I was surprised to find out that I was pleased she hadn't tried to throw herself at me. That thought brought Tanya back to the forefront of my mind. I shoved her aside though and made my way through the stacks.

As I turned a corner, I saw her. She was pushing a cart and replacing books on the shelf. As she went along she was tidying up the stacks as well, but the sight of her took my breath away. I don't know how long I stood there just looking at her, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything else just yet.

She was making her way over to the reference section when she sensed me. I could see it in the stiffening of her shoulders and the defensive stance she took. I quickly ducked behind the closest stack and prayed she hadn't noticed me. After a couple moments, I peeked around and saw her going about her business.

I followed her from a distance and just watched. She had a small smile gracing her pouty lips and I wanted to rush over, take her in my arms, and kiss her senseless. But I didn't. Instead I continued to watch.

When she finally made it to the fiction section, she started running her hands over the books on the shelf to her right. Her face was lit with joy as she pulled one worn book off the shelf and stroked it lovingly. I wanted so badly to know what she was thinking and what book had given her such joy.

She opened the book and began to read. All I could do was stare at her. She looked so wonderful, so breath-taking. Something about her looked different from before, not dramatically so, but she was radiant. Before I knew it, I had crept closer to her and was standing right behind her looking over her shoulder. She was reading _The Tempest._

I had always had a love of literature and had read Shakespeare frequently, of course no one really knew that, but that was neither here nor there. I remembered this work vividly. It had been once of my favorites, and she happened to be reading one of my favorite parts. For some unknown reason, I wanted to impress this girl, and what better way to do it than to quote Shakespeare? My brain went into overdrive thinking of which line to quote. What popped into my head shocked the hell out of me.

_I am, in my condition,_

_A prince, Miranda; I do think, a king_

_(I would not so), and would no more endure_

_This wooden slavery than to suffer_

_The fleshfly blow my mouth. Hear my soul speak!_

_The very instant that I saw you, did_

_My heart fly to your service; there resides,_

_To make me slave to itl and for your sake_

_Am I this-patient log-man._

I almost turned and fled the library. The words were too close for comfort. _Hear my soul speak!_ I thought of the lullaby I had been composing. My soul had been bared and I felt vulnerable. Surely it wasn't love? Could it happen like this? I knew almost nothing about her, yet I couldn't help but feel like she was a part of me. I needed her. All of her. Not to own, not to possess, but merely to cherish.

I chickened out immediately and chose another passage. I didn't want to scare her way, after all. What would she think if I had spouted off a passage of love on our first meeting? She would have thought I was crazy for sure. No, I couldn't open myself like that just yet. Instead I leaned further into her and spoke in her ear.

"_The Tempest_? A tale of love, betrayal, and forgiveness."

I heard her gasp as she dropped her book and spun around to face me. I wasn't prepared to look into her eyes again. Especially not this closely. I had to fight the urge to grab her once again. Nor was I prepared to hear her voice again, but when she spoke, I felt her siren's call once more.

"You… you know Shakespeare?" Her eyes were huge and her breath was heaving. I tried not to notice that her chest was rising and falling at a rapid rate. Instead I recited the more appropriate passage.

"Admired Miranda!

Indeed the top of admiration, worth

What's dearest to the world! Full many a lady

I have eyed with the best regard, and many a time

Th' harmony of their tongues hath into bondage

Brought my too diligent ear; for several virtues

Have I liked several women; never any

With so full soul but some defect in her

Did quarrel with the noblest grace she owed,

And put it to the foil. But you, O you,

So perfect and so peerless, are created

Of every creature's best."

That was much better than professing my undying love right now. Maybe she'd even agree to go out with me. I just had to take that chance and hope that it paid off. _Please let it pay off. _When she didn't say anything I bent down to pick the book up off the floor. She still looked stunned and I decided to take that as a good sign.

"I'm Edward, by the way. I never properly introduced myself the other day." I held my hand out, waiting for her to just say something, anything.

"Bella," she whispered and placed her shaking hand in mine. There was a surge of heat and electricity when her small hand made contact with mine. Her body swayed and I thought for a minute she might faint.

"Bella," I repeated, _Beautiful Bella_. "A pleasure to finally meet you." I brought her small hand to my mouth and brushed my lips over her knuckles. I heard her breathing hitch again. "So you're a fan of Shakespeare I take it."

"Yes," it came out like a throaty purr and my knees nearly buckled. "Yes, I am. I've always enjoyed Shakespeare."

I flashed my grin at her again, we had something in common. "Me too. I much prefer the classics."

She still looked shocked and she whispered back, "Me too."

I suddenly felt guilty about pursuing her this way. I didn't want our relationship to start off on the wrong foot. "Bella, I have something I need to tell you."

She cleared her throat and looked me right in the eye, "Ummm… okay."

I couldn't help but shuffle my feet. I was nervous that she'd be angry or feel betrayed. "I already knew your name. I just wanted to see if you'd actually talk to me."

She just stared at me. My heart started racing and I thought she was going to walk away, then she said, "Oh. Well," her cheeks tinted pink and it was the most endearing thing I had ever seen. I didn't know girls still blushed. "I already knew your name too. Your roommate told me last night."

I had to grin again since she was being honest right back with me. "Yeah, Jasper told me." I couldn't help but look at her. She was so beautiful, standing there before me with her cheeks still colored with a lovely blush. I had the urge to kiss her. Her lips were so full and pouty, I wanted to take her bottom lip between my teeth and chew on it.

"Can I ask you something Bella?" I debated asking whether or not I could kiss her, but that might be too forward. I didn't want to scare her away. Her breathing pattern told me she expected that anyway, so I changed tactics. "What time do you get off?"

I saw her swallow, hard. I was mesmerized by the long column of her throat. I could make out her jugular and could see the frantic pace of her heart. Her eyes were clouding and she whispered, "8:00."

I glanced at my watch and realized I had timed this perfectly. I couldn't help but smile. "Can I buy you some coffee in 5 then?"

Her heart was still racing and her voice was still breathy when she answered,"Yes." I nearly groaned. How many times had I imagined her voice in just that way? Probably too many to count.

I had to get out of here and clear my head before I threw her up against the stack and took her like a madman. Instead I took her hand once more and brushed my lips across her knuckles again. "I'll be waiting." Then I turned and walked out of the library.

I sat on the wall outside the library and tried to calm myself down. My heart was racing as well and there was a stirring in the pit of my stomach. I had never before been nervous about taking a girl out somewhere, why was this happening now? _Because this one matters._ I thought about that for a minute and realized yes, Bella did matter. Who cared that I didn't know her yet? Who cared where she came from or why she was here? All that really mattered was that she was here, and I _would_ know her. Soon.

I glanced up when I heard the door of the library. She looked like she was off in her own world and that wicked smile was gracing her lips once more. She absolutely took my breath away. I walked toward her to meet her and realized she hadn't noticed me. I knew it was evil, but I couldn't stop from planting myself directly in her path.

What I hadn't been prepared for was the feeling of Bella's body against mine again. I wrapped my arms around her to keep her from falling and my voice dropped to a husky whisper, "We keep meeting this way, Bella." I heard a low moan and again I nearly came undone. I sucked in a breath through my teeth. This girl was going to be the death of me.

I tightened my arms around her and tried to calm my raging hormones. My body was screaming at me to take her now, here in front of the library. My brain was telling me I should wait until she came to me. I heard her whimper before she took a step forward and turned to face me. "I'm sorry." Her voice floated around me, calming me instantly.

I didn't want to let go of her yet, but I loosened my hold. "No complaints here." And I most certainly wouldn't ever complain about having her in my arms. I grinned at the thought, stepped away, and held out my hand, "Shall we?"

Without hesitation, she said, "Okay." Then she put her tiny hand in mine and let me take the lead.

* * *

We walked to the coffee shop in comfortable silence. I was enjoying the fact that she didn't feel the need to fill the void with inane chatter. It was comforting. I had never in my life smiled more or been more at peace than I was at this moment with Bella. She, like my music, would be my saving grace.

The coffee shop was warm and inviting, just like Jasper described it. The scent of coffee was strong, but I could still make out Bella's scent beneath the strong scent of what was brewing. It was a scent that had been burned in my memory.

I led the way to a small empty table in the corner and pulled her chair out for her. She eyed me warily for a moment before sitting down. It was as if no other guy had ever held her chair for her. I had the irrational urge to track down any male that had ever been in her life and beat them senseless for their poor treatment of this beautiful girl

The barista made his way over to us and we gave him our selections. "What can I get for youse?"

"Umm, I'll have an Iced Caramel Macchiato, please." She glanced at me nervously once again, so I just smiled. I admit, I was trying to charm her.

"Caffé Misto, please." The barista nodded and made his way back to the counter.

Her hands were sitting on top of the table and she was playing with her fingers. It was such a cute and nervous gesture, but I wanted her to be comfortable with me. I put my hand over top of hers to still them.

"So, Bella," I just wanted her to talk. I could have listened to her and talked to her for hours. I was once again filled with an overwhelming sense of joy by just being near her. "Tell me more about yourself."

She seemed to consider what she wanted to say. I wanted to know everything about her. Where she was from, what her life had been like, her deepest desires, and everything in between. "What would you like to know, Edward?"

"Anything you want to tell me." Idly, I played with her fingers. Her tiny warm hands felt right in mine. I wanted to hold her hand for eternity if she would allow it. "Why don't you start by telling me where you're from?"

She smiled at me and my heart swelled again. "Nowhere special." Her voice was flirty and I felt that urge to take again. I banked my desire and smiled back.

I stroked her palm and the tips of her fingers reveling in the wonder of her hand in mine. "Is it a secret or something?" I couldn't help but be fascinated by her. Most girls wouldn't shut up about themselves and this one seemed to have too many secrets.

Then she leaned over the table and my eyes nearly fell out of my head. Her cleavage was straining against her shirt, but her eyes held amusement, "If I told you, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you. That would be a shame."

My grin nearly split my face. She actually had a sense of humor as well. I was nearly convinced that she was perfection personified. I decided to play along with her. "Is that right?" Her hair bounced around when she nodded her head and the scent of strawberries reached my nose. "Well, I'd hate to die before I got to know you. Why don't we start with something simpler?" And I did want to know her. All of her.

Just then, the barista came back with our coffee. I gave him some money and a handsome tip to ensure we wouldn't be bothered. When he made his way back behind the counter I captured her gaze once more. "Where were we?"

I could see her pulse racing again and liked that I had that affect on her. "You decided to ask me something other than where I'm from."

"Right. Well then, what's your favorite color?" This question was so different from my previous one that I threw her off guard.

"Green." She stated emphatically before her cheeks flamed again. I was intrigued.

"Is there something wrong with green?" Her blush deepened and I couldn't figure out why she would have been embarrassed by her favorite color.

"No. Nothing."

Not knowing was driving me crazy. I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Then why the blush?"

* * *

AN: So there we have it. Our lovebirds have finally met and are on their way to falling in love. Please, please, please hit that little button down there and let me know what you thought of it. This was a bit harder than any of my other chapters since I wrote twice as much as normal. Please let me know if you like that change as well… even though it's going to remain this way, otherwise we'd end up with 100+ chapters!

On a side note, please keep my wonderful beta Jen2112 in your thoughts and prayers. She's going through some rough times and needs some love and support. We're here for you chica, no matter what.

There once was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed into his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing I just helped him cry."

If you need help crying, you've always got people around who care for you. And one last thought, from a headstone in Ireland: Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, while love leaves a memory no one can steal.


	13. Author's Note

_Author's Note:_

_Yes, I know how much we all hate these… especially when you think it's an update of a story that you love to read. But I had to throw this out there for all of you. My most wonderful beta, Jen2112, has started a thread for this story over on Twilighted. The link to get to the discussion forum is here:_

http://www (dot) twilighted (dot) net/forum/viewtopic (dot) php?f=44&t=3745

_Please come and join us if you want to talk about the story with other fans. I can't promise to be there everyday, but I do check fairly regularly. Love you all and I hope to see you on the forums!_

_xoxo_

_Nan_


	14. Interruptions and Distractions

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight. Other than an awesome button my hubs found for me, the Special Edition DVD, and some wickedly deviant fantasies.**

"_It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart." ~Unknown_

_**Chapter Twelve – Interruptions and Distractions**_

BPOV

I was saved from answering his question by the ringing of my phone. Cliché as it sounded, all I could think was, _saved by the bell._ I pulled it out of my pocket and breathed a sigh of relief. Alice.

"Hey Alice, what's up?"

"Bella! I was so worried about you when you didn't come home."

I immediately felt guilty for not calling and telling her I would be late. I certainly hadn't meant to make anyone worry about me.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I should have called you, but everything kind of happened so fast."

"Oh my God!" she screamed into the phone. "What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?" She was firing off questions in rapid succession, leaving me no chance to answer.

"Alice! Please calm down. Everything is fine." I tried my best to sound soothing, the last thing I needed was for her to get hysterical on me.

"Are you sure?" She didn't sound completely convinced, but at least she wasn't screaming anymore.

"Of course. Edward showed up at the library just before my shift ended and asked me if he could buy me a cup of coffee." I couldn't help but notice he was watching me intently, as if gauging my mood.

"Oooohhhh…" it was long and drawn out as she said it, like she was reading much more into it than was actually there. "Well, I'll let you go then. See you later, and have fun!"

"But…" she hung up before I could even say anything else. All I could do was stare at my phone. When I heard someone chuckle, I glanced up to find Edward with that damn lopsided grin in his face. The same grin that made my knees weak and my heart misbehave.

"Trouble?"

"Um, no. Just my roommate Alice. She was worried about me when I didn't come home."

His eyes changed and he looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize Alice would be so concerned."

"No, it's okay. That's just the way Alice is." I wanted to change the subject and bring him out of whatever funk he had gotten into. "Um, where were we?"

The embarrassment vanished from his face and was replaced by a mischievous look that put me on edge. My heart started pounding again and I was suddenly very nervous. "I was asking you why you were blushing."

I should have known he would get back to that question, but why did I have to lead him right back to it myself? "Oh, right. Um, no particular reason."

He just kept smiling at me. "You don't think I really buy that do you?"

"Yes?" I said hopefully. I really didn't want to get into it. Actually, I was hoping a hole would open up in the floor and swallow me up.

He put his hand to his chin, like he was contemplating the mysteries of the universe before he grinned at me once again. "Sorry, no dice."

"I blush easy. And you were staring at me." Well, it was partially true anyway.

He cocked his head to the side and considered me for a moment. "Has anyone ever told you that you're a horrible liar? Try again." I wanted to throttle him.

"Fine!" I threw my hands in the air in frustration. "It's your eyes, okay? Your eyes are green, you big jerk!"

Humor lit his features as he considered my answer. "Now that, I believe." My cheeks flamed again as he went on, "But I like it. Just like I like your eyes. They're so warm and inviting." The playfulness was gone, only to be replaced with a sincerity I couldn't understand.

"Thank you." I whispered breathlessly.

He took my hand in his again and started tracing patterns on the back and along my wrist. The current flowing between us was nearly unbearable. I wanted to jerk my hand away, but I was frozen in his gaze. "Do you feel that, Bella?"

I didn't even pretend I didn't understand him, I only nodded jerkily.

"I feel drawn to you, like a moth to flame. I wonder why that is. Do you?" His long fingers kept toying with my hand, causing tingles to race up and down my arm.

"I don't know." I didn't really. I wasn't even sure I wanted to know.

His eyes narrowed as he stared into me. I could feel his gaze penetrating me, down to my soul. His hand wrapped around my wrist and held there firmly. "Your pulse is racing." Then he took my hand and placed it against his chest so I could feel his heart thundering under his shirt. "So is mine. Can you feel it?"

I felt trapped. Caught up in him and what he was doing to me. Never before had I had this kind of reaction to someone. _And you never will again._ My mind was traitorous; my body was too. Both yearned for him, longed to be wrapped in his arms again. I started trembling without even knowing it. Shaking like a leaf because he was just too damn close. "Yes," I whispered.

He leaned forward, over the small table between us and I was yanked out of my trance. I was afraid he would kiss me. Afraid if he did, my walls would come tumbling down and I would be irrevocably lost in him. My pulse was still racing and my breathing was shallow, but I managed to pull away and clear my throat.

"Do I frighten you?" My head snapped up and I stared at him in shock. How could he know?

"Maybe a little. More the situation frightens me." I knew that wasn't going to suffice. I would have to hash this out now.

"The situation? What does that mean?" He looked confused.

I sighed before taking a long drink of my coffee. I was trying desperately to gather my thoughts so I could tell him I didn't want a relationship.

"My mother died," I blurted out before I could think of a better way to start. His eyes softened and he started to say something before I cut him off. "No. Don't say anything. It was a long time ago. What I meant to say was that my father never got over that. I don't really remember my mother at all, but Charlie does and I watched it eat at him everyday of my life."

"Okay, but I still don't understand."

"Look, I made a promise to myself a long time ago. I was never going to get into a relationship. Never going to allow someone the chance to hurt me the way Charlie hurts. Never going to fall in love." I looked away briefly before looking back at him. "All it does is complicate your life. And you have complication written all over you."

He seemed partially amused and a lot frustrated by my answer. "You act like I'm asking you to marry me and bear my children."

I laughed at that because he was absolutely right. I was terrified of the way he made me feel. Terrified that starting something with him now could someday lead to wedding bells and carriages. "Maybe. But I don't have a lot of experience with relationships. Actually, I don't have any. I've never allowed myself to get involved. With anyone."

I hoped he was able to understand the severity of what I was saying to him. I wasn't about to let him get close, I couldn't risk my heart that way.

I saw as realization dawned on him. "Never?"

"No, never. And like I said, you have complication written all over you."

He ran his hands through his gorgeous hair and I had to bite the inside of my lip. Why did he have to be so damn sexy?

"How about this… can we be friends? Maybe hang out sometimes?" He had my hand again like he was frantically trying to hold on to me.

I sighed again because I had no willpower against him. How could I possibly tell him no? I glanced down at our entwined fingers before giving his a quick squeeze.

"I suppose."

His face lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning. Then he brought my hand to his lips once more and he winked.

"I promise to make it worth your time."

And of course, my traitorous heart stuttered.

* * *

Edward was such a gentleman. It was really a shame that I wasn't going to allow myself to fall in love, because really, he was just the kind of guy I could see myself falling for. Other than being a cocky bastard, he was also witty and smart, two things I found myself extremely drawn to.

I immediately felt nervous for agreeing to be friends with him. It could only lead to disaster. At the same time, I couldn't help but wonder what he found so intriguing about me. It was obvious he was telling the truth about being drawn to me. Every time his gaze caught mine I could see the emotions boiling under the surface. Either that or he was an extremely skilled liar.

Would that be so bad though? If he was lying to me only to get me in his bed, would I have been able to find a more attentive lover? Even without any experience, I knew the answer was no. No one had ever made me feel the way he did. No one would ever make my body yearn for theirs like he did. And most of all, in all of my almost 19 years, no one had weakened my resolve as absolutely and completely as he had.

The only problem was that for all the bravado I had shown earlier, I was suddenly frightened about losing my virginity. Of course, it wasn't like I was giving it to him tonight, but I knew before long I would end up having sex with Edward. Whether that was his intent or not, I didn't know, but I did know that it was inevitable.

Somewhere around 11:30 I felt the panic start creeping in. I was sure to fall short in comparison to him, in any and all aspects. There was no way I would ever please him. It was probably a better idea to cut my losses now so he could move on and find someone more suitable to him. As if he could hear my internal struggle, his arm came around me and he started guiding us back toward our dorm.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" His voice was directly in my ear and I couldn't hold back the shudder that coursed through me. I felt his grin against the sensitive skin at my jugular.

"N..Nothing," I stuttered, damning him to the pits of hell for having so much control over my body.

"Remember what I told you about you being a horrible liar?" His amusement was clear and I huffed in annoyance.

"Look, Edward."

"Uh-oh. That sounds serious."

Somehow, we were already standing in front of my door, although how he knew which was mine, I wasn't sure. I tried my best to glare at him, but he just looked back at me with that same sparkle in his eye.

"Look," I started again, daring him to interrupt me. "I've given this some thought, and I'm not sure," he cut me off before I could go on.

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

I huffed again, annoyed because he was trying to charm me. I had to stand my ground.

"I don't think," he pulled me closer to him and released the full power of his gaze on me. His breath was whispering across my cheek and I could actually feel my eyes losing their focus. His hands skimmed down my sides until his fingers were entwined once again with mine. My heart was beating a rapid tattoo in my chest.

"Please, Bella? Please come out with me tomorrow. We can go somewhere with Alice and Jasper if it will make you feel better." My determination was slowly slipping away, running with the wind.

"I'm starting to think this isn't such a good idea," I mumbled into his chest. I could have sworn I felt his heart skip a beat before it kicked back into high gear, pounding against mine as he held me close.

"Well then, if that's the case, I might as well get this out of the way."

I looked up at him, ready to ask him what he meant when he leaned down and captured my lips with his. In that moment, time stood still, worlds collided, and my heart was lost. Slowly and gently his mouth moved over mine, tasting me, savoring me, fulfilling me. It took all the strength I had to stay upright as he skillfully shattered every ounce of control I had.

When his tongue brushed across my lips, I opened my mouth without thinking and was suddenly assaulted with the flavor of him. His scent was swirling around me, orange blossoms, sunshine, and honey. He probed the recesses of my mouth like a starving man, caressing my tongue with his, and gently pulling mine into his mouth.

His hands skimmed back up my sides and cupped my face gently, like I was something fragile to be cherished. That was all it took before my brain caught up and my hands shot out on their own accord to lock themselves in his hair. He groaned into my mouth and I plastered my body to his, pulling him as close to me as I could get him.

He backed me up so I was against the wall and my legs hitched up to wrap around his waist. The kiss was no longer gentle and slow, but had turned into a raging inferno. My body was burning and my skin was on fire. Everywhere his roaming hands touched me I felt singed. I was whimpering in his mouth without knowing it and my chest was heaving, searing with the need for air.

I threw my head back and his mouth attached to my throat, licking me and nipping at me. I was moaning wildly and my head was thrashing back and forth, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Something in me had snapped and I was too deliriously aroused to care. His teeth attached to my neck; I yelped in surprise before clawing at his back, trying urgently to shed him of whatever clothing was barring his body from me.

I could distinctly feel his erection pressing into my center and ground myself down on him. That apparently triggered something in him and he groaned once more before breathlessly saying, "Stop."

He pressed his forehead to mine and we were both violently gasping for air like madmen. I was both pleased and ashamed of myself for reacting so vividly to his touch. I couldn't for the life of me, figure out what had come over me. He raised his head to look at me before cupping my face in his hands again.

"Bella, we need to stop." Then he muttered under his breath, "Never thought I would say _that._"

For some reason or another, that struck me as funny and I broke into hysterical giggles. I should have been scared, or even mildly shocked at myself but all I could do was laugh. His eyes narrowed at me before he brushed his nose along my jaw line, effectively shutting me up.

"Please see me tomorrow." The sight of this glorious man begging me crushed my resolve and I went limp against him.

"Okay," I said, utterly defeated.

His lips skimmed over my face, across my eyes, and stopped to give me one more peck, right on my swollen lips. "Thank you," he said, before unwrapping my legs from around him, gently placing me back on the ground, and releasing me.

He took a couple steps away, in the direction of his own room before he said one last thing, "Jesus woman. You're going to be the death of me."

It shocked me to my core that he'd had the same thoughts that I had a few short days before. Then I heard him whistling his way down the hall while I stood there with my heart hammering in my ears. _Cocky bastard._

_

* * *

  
_

EPOV

Before she had a chance to answer me, her phone started ringing. I was determined at that point that we would get back to the question at hand. That damn blush looked so stunning on her face. It made her look innocent and delectable all at once.

Her soothing voice broke me from my thoughts. She was trying to convince Alice that she was okay. _Must be the Alice Jasper had been talking about for days. _Then she was talking about me and my name from her lips sounded so heavenly. I was desperate to know what she was thinking when she said it.

I continued to watch as she sputtered then stared at her phone with such a cute and annoyed expression on her face. I couldn't help but chuckle at her dismay. It seemed Alice must approve of Bella being with me if she was so quick to let us get back to our date. _No Cullen. A date is when you pick her up at her home at a prearranged time. This was an ambush. _Ambush or not, she was sitting across from me and I was going to make the most of it.

"Trouble?" I asked, assuming Alice just wanted to chat.

"Um, no. Just my roommate Alice. She was worried about me when I didn't come home."

Suddenly, I felt guilty for not allowing her time to check in with her friends, or stop by her room first. I had just been so eager to have her with me that I hadn't considered anyone or anything else. I was rather embarrassing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize Alice would be so concerned."

_More like you didn't care._ She interrupted my thoughts before I could continue to berate myself for my selfishness.

"No, it's okay. That's just the way Alice is," she said, as if that explained everything. Which, I guess from everything I had already learned about her from Jasper, it was. "Um, where were we?" she continued, giving me the perfect opportunity to get back to my previous question. She looked nervous as to what I would say, but I wasn't going to let that deter me. Nothing could at this point.

"I was asking you why you were blushing," I said, and sure enough, the flush stained her cheeks once more.

"Oh, right," she stuttered, endearing her to me even further. "Um, no particular reason."

_Yeah, like I believed _that. I just continued to smile at her, amused that she thought she could fool me.

"You don't think I really buy that do you?" I certainly hoped she didn't. She didn't _look_ stupid.

"Yes?" she sounding so cute questioning herself that way that I had to swallow back a chuckle. Instead, I put my hand to my chin and pretended to consider it. _Yeah, right._

"Sorry, no dice." I had to know why she was embarrassed.

"I blush easy. And you were staring at me."

The second part she seemed to add as an afterthought. I cocked my head as I considered that. It may or may not have been true, but it definitely wasn't the whole story.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a horrible liar? Try again."

If I had to, I would annoy the answer out of her. If I knew one thing about myself, it was that I was persistent. Or hardheaded. Either one worked for me. She didn't look amused. She looked like she wanted to pummel me. _Success!_

"Fine!" she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air for emphasis. "It's your eyes, okay? Your eyes are green, you big jerk!" For a moment I was stunned. She was breath-taking when she was angry. Then her words sank in and I was pleased as hell. _She likes my eyes._

I couldn't help but smile at the revelation. Maybe, just maybe, she thought of me as I thought of her if she liked my eyes so much. "Now that, I believe." Her blush nearly broke my concentration, but I was a man on a mission now. "But I like it. Just like I like your eyes." _More like love your eyes. _"They're so warm and inviting." _Begging for me to fall into their depths._

She looked shocked, like she wasn't sure whether to believe me or not. Then she whispered, "Thank you." Her voice was breathless.

I grabbed her hand from the table and started running my finger from the back of it around her wrist. She stared at me like she was caught in a daze. I couldn't help but revel in the feeling of her hand in mine. There was a humming on my skin whenever we touched. "Do you feel that Bella?" _Please say yes, please tell me I'm not crazy._

She jerked her head up and down, like it was almost detached from her body. Or like she was a puppet on a string. The words started pouring from my mouth before I could stop them.

"I feel drawn to you, like a moth to a flame." _And this is probably just as dangerous._ "I wonder why that is." _Because I'm afraid I might be falling in love with you._ "Do you?" _Please tell me you feel the same._

"I don't know," she said, but she looked worried. Or scared.

I set my jaw and narrowed my eyes. I couldn't stand if she was afraid of me. I needed to show her she dazzled me just as much as I hopefully dazzled her. I grabbed her wrist, just needing to touch her, feel her soft skin against mine, hold her closer. Her pulse was racing, throbbing through her veins. "Your pulse is racing." I put her hand on my chest, reveling in the warmth that spread through me. "So is mine. Can you feel it?"

She was trembling, but her eyes were steadily fastened to mine. Emotions were swirling there and I could feel their kin tangling around in mine. She opened her mouth and whispered, "Yes."

I wanted to feel her lips against mine. I couldn't get them out of my head, or the desire to kiss her. I just wanted to feel if they were as soft as they looked. I wanted to know how they tasted. Would they be tart? Would they be sweet? She looked terrified. She cleared her throat and backed away.

"Do I frighten you?" I had to cut to the chase. I wanted to make her enjoy her time with me so she would get used to it. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible and that wouldn't be very easy if she was petrified of me. Her head snapped up and her eyes locked on mine.

"Maybe a little. More, the situation frightens me."

"The situation? What does that mean?" I didn't understand what she meant. What exactly was wrong with the situation?

She took a drink of her coffee after letting out a soft sigh. She looked uncomfortable, like she didn't really want to talk about it, but she had me so intrigued.

"My mother died," she said in a rush. I felt a pang for her, sorry that she had to go through something like losing her mother. I'd never really had mine, but that didn't mean I never wished I did. Before I could tell her so, she continued, "No. Don't say anything. It was a long time ago." What was she about? "What I meant to say was that my father never got over that. I don't really remember my mother at all, but Charlie does and I watched it eat at him everyday of my life."

Now we were getting somewhere, but I still didn't understand what that had to do with me. I asked her to clarify, just so we were on the same page.

"Look, I made a promise to myself a long time ago. I was never going to get into a relationship. Never going to allow someone the chance to hurt me the way Charlie hurts. Never going to fall in love." That was pretty crystal clear. She was trying to shut off the chances of us developing something. I wasn't about to let that happen. She went on. "All it does is complicate your life. And you have complication written all over you."

I felt a little put-out. Was she serious? Maybe I wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but all I was asking for was some of her time, for now. At the same time, I was amused that she was bold enough to tell me to my face. "You act like I'm asking you to marry me and bear my children." The idea might have had some merit, but that was all in the distant future, when I was ready for something like that.

She laughed, "Maybe. But I don't have a lot of experience with relationships. Actually, I don't have any. I've never allowed myself to get involved. With anyone."

Each sentence was added with purpose. She stared at me to make sure I understood her meaning. Then it dawned on me. She'd _never_ had a boyfriend. Or a lover. I felt my eyes widen a small bit. "Never?"

"No, never. And like I said, you have complication written all over you."

Okay. Now I see why she was terrified. I must have come off pretty strong, and she had zero experience. It was obvious we were going to have to slow things way down so I didn't scare her away. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. Of course I would get the virgin I had wished for on the first day here, but now that I had her, I wanted more than just a quick tumble in the sheets. She was right, this was complicated.

"How about this…" I started, "can we be friends? Maybe hang out sometimes?" I was willing to do spend time with her in any capacity just so she could get used to me. I took her hand anyway, trying to let her know I wanted more.

She sighed, louder than the last time and looked down at our fingers tangled together. She squeezed my hand and I felt my heart lift. "I suppose." And then I was soaring. I had never felt happier than I had since I'd first run into her.

I brought her hand to my lips again, wanting to stake my claim early. "I promise to make it worth your while." I figured she deserved a warning to let her know I was ready to woo her.

* * *

Bella and I walked all over the campus just chatting. I told her that I was teaching piano lessons over at the Hopkins Center. She told me she was an English major. There were long moments of comfortable silence while I walked next to her. She was such a breath of fresh air.

Over the years, I had dated clingy girls who plastered themselves all over you at every waking moment and chatty girls who wanted to do nothing other than talk about themselves. Bella didn't seem to fit into either category. She was laid back and she was innocent. Both of those qualities drew me closer and made me want to know more.

She had a far off look on her face and I was dying to know what she was thinking about. Her browed was furrowed in concentration, but she didn't look angry. If anything, she looked very confused and worried. I walked along for a bit longer, slowly making our way back toward our dorm. It was getting late and I didn't want her friends to worry anymore. We finally made it back to the dorms, but she was still in a daze.

Finally, when I could take no more I put my arm around her and leaned in close to her ear. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" She trembled in my arms and I grinned into her neck. I wanted so badly to feel her come apart in my arms.

"N…Nothing," she sputtered out. Her cheeks were blushing a furious shade of red nearly making me groan.

"Remember what I told you about being a horrible liar?" If her blush hadn't given her away, her fidgeting would have. She huffed at me causing my grin to widen.

"Look, Edward."

I didn't like the sound of that. I didn't want to give her a chance to pull away. "Uh-oh. That sounds serious." I hoped a little levity would calm her down. I stopped in front of her door and leaned against the frame.

"Look," she said again, glaring at me. "I've given this some thought, and I'm not sure," but I wasn't about to let her finish. There was no way she was going to give me the brush off.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" She looked perplexed before she huffed at me again. Clearly she was getting annoyed, but I had broken her train of thought.

"I don't think," I still didn't want to hear it. I had to do something to keep her from walking away just yet. I had to know she'd see me again. I pulled her into me and stared into her eyes before grazing my nose along her skin. I ran my hands from her shoulders, down her arms, and twisted my fingers through hers. Her chest was pressed against me and I could feel her heart pulsing.

"Please, Bella? Please come out with me tomorrow. We can go somewhere with Alice and Jasper if it will make you feel better," I whispered softly in her ear. She was weakening. I could feel it in her posture. She was trying to pull away from me but she was only fighting herself.

She buried her face into my chest and murmured, "I'm starting to think this isn't such a good idea." My heart faltered. She couldn't be turning me away already. Was this some sick joke? I set my jaw and decided I wasn't going down without a fight.

"Well then, if that's the case, I might as well get this out of the way." She looked towards me and I made my move.

My lips closed firmly over hers, immediately clouding her brain. She was leaning into me now, grasping the front of my shirt with white knuckles. Her eyes were glassy and she looked stunned. I moved my mouth over hers slowly, taking in the scent and feel that was Bella. It was so much better than I ever could have imagined.

Her lips were soft and smooth and they fit perfectly under mine. The way her body was molded into mine, I couldn't help but think she was made for me. I could smell her all around me and it was driving me mad. Strawberries and Freesia overwhelmed my senses and I licked her lips, begging for access. I had to have more. A craving was building in me, pushing me forward.

She opened her mouth and I slowly explored her mouth, licking all around. Her tongue brushed mine and I massaged it with my own. Our breath was mixing into ambrosia, permeating the air between us. I pulled her tongue into my mouth and ran my hands back up her sides and took her face in my hands. I didn't want to push her much further.

As I was about to let her go, her hands shot out and grabbed two hands full of my hair, pulling me into her. I groaned deeply, relishing the pleasure it brought me. I felt my control slip and had her backed into the wall in an instant. Any shred of sanity I had maintained thus far fled far and away. Bella lost in passion was an amazing delight.

She bounced slightly and jumped, wrapping her legs around my waist. I grabbed hold of her hips and pinned her there so she wouldn't fall. All rationale gone, I ravished Bella. My hands roamed all over her body, taking in her curves and her angles. Her long legs were fascinating. The way the muscles pulled and stretched had my erection springing to life. I could clearly imagine the same position without the barriers of clothing.

Her head was thrown back and she was panting, her chest heaving. A primal growl tore through me as I latched onto her neck, licking and nibbling every sensitive area I could find. She was thrashing around me, driving me insane. The need to touch her and possess her was growing. I bit her neck, just at her jugular, right below her ear. She gasped in surprise, then began pulling at my clothes and shredding my willpower.

Her hips were still lined up with mine and she was slithering around when she suddenly ground herself down into my cock. My thoughts shut off as the pleasure coursed through me. Then I remembered her innocence and my bubble burst. I couldn't take her right here in the hallway. She hardly knew me and I was ready to steal her purity like some thief in the night.

No. Bella was special. She wasn't going to be some toss in the sheets for me. I was determined to do this right. I had to slow down and show her that I was sincere before we went any further. The thought of it nearly brought me to me knees. Now that I'd had a taste of her zeal it was going to be hard to resist. I groaned in frustration. I was definitely going to need a cold shower tonight.

Before she could try to spur me onward, I murmured against her mouth. "Stop." I was shaking with the effort to regain some semblance of control.

I pressed my forehead into hers while we gasped for air. We were both staring at each other with a near crazed excitement. When my breathing started to calm, I cupped her face in my palms once again. I had to take this slow.

"Bella, we need to stop." I still couldn't believe what I was giving up, but I was hoping it would pay off in the long run. Even that, though, didn't make me feel any better at the moment. "Never thought I would say _that,_" I muttered darkly, already hating myself for the tortures I would endure tonight.

Her lips were red and swollen and she stared at me with dark, hooded eyes. Her chest was still heaving slightly and I had to look away before I buried my face there. A small giggle slipped through her lips and she looked shocked. Then a flood of laughter burst forth from her and she was laughing uncontrollably. For the life of me, I couldn't be mad at her. I tried to glare but that wasn't working, so I ran my nose along her jaw line again, savoring the essence of Bella. Her laughs stilled instantly.

I wasn't going to let her go. Now, more than ever, I was resolute about winning her heart. Bella _would _be mine. She had to give me a chance. So I did the one thing I had never done for a woman in my life. I begged. I pleaded with Bella to see me the next day. I would go crazy if she cut me off now. I was already shamelessly addicted to her.

"Okay," she muttered and I let out of breath of relief.

I kissed over her cheeks, across her eyes, and down her nose reverently taking her in and showing her my gratitude for her acceptance. "Thank you," I whispered against her lips before giving her one last peck.

Her legs were still wrapped around me and as much as I was enjoying it, I had to get her into her room. My resolve was weak and my body was straining towards her. I carefully peeled her off of me and gently placed her on the ground in front of me.

I had to get away, had to clear my head, or else I would follow her. I took a few steps before looking back at her. She looked so desirable standing there with ruffled hair, flushed cheeks, and her hand over her hammering heart. I almost gave in to the pull and stepped back into her, but snapped my knees tight and gave her another once over. "Jesus woman. You're going to be the death of me."

Since that somehow amused me, I walked off to my room, whistling.

* * *

**AN: Okay, before you start throwing things, please hear me out. I honestly had every intention of updating this story sooner. But then this whole thing happened with TMaHM and I just couldn't get away. It literally sucked me in. Before I knew what was happening, the characters had taken control and I couldn't stop writing for them. And people were begging me, no… they were **_**pleading **_**with me to continue that story. I got caught up, I am so sincerely sorry.**

**Then there was the case of fan fiction addiction. I should never, **_**never**_** start reading a new story when I put a deadline on myself. I find myself losing track of space and time, off in the land of fan fiction with a whole new story to immerse myself in. I read Bonne Foi finally, and holy crow that's one hot story. Whew… I could feel the burn as the reader. Especially when you take Darkward into consideration… and the sexin. Woo-Hoo!!!**

**Then there was His Personal Assistant. That one has Bella as the Personal Assistant to CEO of Cullen International Corporation, Edward Cullen. Sparks fly, gossip is told, and hearts are tested. What will happen when and if the truth comes out? I'm not telling what happens next… you'll have to read to find out.**

**Anyway… a big huge thanks to my masta beta, Jen. I love her to pieces. Really… she started a thread for me and everything… so why don't you come on over and play. Links are in my profile. I guess that's it. Please hit that button down there and let me know what you thought. I love, love, love your reviews… they make me feel loved, which in turn inspires me to write.**

**xoxo**

**Nan**


	15. One Step Forward or Two Steps Back

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight or its characters… blah, blah, blah.**

"_We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself." ~Lloyd Alexander_

_**Chapter Thirteen – One Step Forward or Two Steps Back**_

BPOV

My hand was still over my chest, trying to keep my heart from beating straight through and landing on the ground in front of me. I was still a little dazed, shocked, and surprised at my actions. _What on Earth had come over me?_ I had never even kissed a guy and suddenly, I was groping one in the middle of a hallway. I was instantly ashamed of myself and glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. Luckily, there was no one there. _At least I won't be labeled as 'easy' before school even starts._

I laughed darkly at the irony of that. 'Easy' wasn't the appropriate word for what I was. If anyone ever found out just how completely I had lost control of myself around Edward, I would have been labeled a tease. That's the only description for a girl like me; a girl not willing to give it up, but willing to tempt the guy to the point of psychosis. I had reason to be ashamed of my actions.

At least Edward had still had the presence of mind to stop us before things got out of control. I felt a pressure in my chest at the thought of him holding me and staring in my eyes. I could tell that he didn't _want_ to stop, but he still did, right before I tore his shirt off of him. I had to respect that. It terrified me; every moment spent with him weakened me further**. ** If I thought he was fun to be around, I'd want to hang out with him. Then if I hung out with him, I'd start to like him as a person. If I liked him as a person, I might start to respect him. If I did that; well, there really was no need to debate further. I was already starting to trip into love with Edward and it was time to put on the brakes.

I fished my key out of my bag and opened the door. I heard a muttered curse before I collided with two people, all of us falling into a tumbled heap on the floor. There were arms and legs flailing as the three of us tried to disentangle ourselves. Curses and oaths were yelled and screamed as our elbows and knees battered one another.

When we had finally broken apart, we were a mess, hair sticking out, clothing askew, and contempt burning in our eyes. I glared at the two of them while they tried to look innocent and mad at the same time.

"Just what in the hell were you two doing standing so close to the damn door?" I had a feeling they had been spying on me, and that was the last thing I needed right now. I didn't want to get into what had just happened, and almost happened, right outside our room door. Glee flew into Alice's eyes while mischief and a little bit of disbelief shown in Rose's. Neither of them pretended to misinterpret me.

"So, Bella… what were you doing out there?" Rose was trying to hide a knowing grin. She knew what happened; she just wanted to embarrass me. _Bitch_.

"Why don't you tell me since you were spying on me," I glared and her, then Alice before I went on. "Why?"

"Wait a minute, in our defense we didn't start off spying. Honest," Alice vowed, eyes wide. "Can you blame us that we went to check and see what was going on when we heard a thump against the wall?"

I suddenly remembered being pinned against the wall, as Edward and I explored each other. My cheeks burned as blood rushed to them, staining them a deep crimson. "Oh." I was disappointed in myself for thinking they would intentionally invade my privacy that way.

"Hell, if the show we got was anything close to what it looked like, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Jesus, I could feel the heat pouring off you two through the peephole." Rose was fanning herself in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I was still embarrassed; nothing they said could change the way I felt. I'd never been so wanton before in my life. On one hand, it felt liberating, but on the other hand, it felt so depraved and taboo. Surely having so much desire for any one person that space and time ceased to exist was dangerous. I couldn't afford to let myself get lost that way. It terrified me.

"I think I got… a little… carried away," I whispered, hoping they wouldn't catch it. Of course, I wasn't so lucky.

"Carried away? Is that what you call it? Because darlin', that was a lot carried away from where I was standing. You nearly took each other right there in the hall!" Alice was bouncing around the room as she said this. Her excitement was contagious and before I could help it, I smiled with some pride.

"I've never felt like that before. It was… exhilarating." I was a little awed by the whole experience now. They didn't judge me; they just accepted me, just as I was. That felt exhilarating too.

"Exhilarating? Christ Bella, are you addled in the brain? Or is that a result of being so thoroughly ravished by such an amazing guy? Because I can assure you, had I been in your place I could come up with a lot better adjectives." Rose was still looking a little shocked at the entire situation.

"Magnificent, amazing, delicious, and depraved come to mind too." I stated, rather smugly.

"Now we're talking!" Of course, someone like Rose would get into this kind of conversation. "It looks like plan Get Bella Laid is fully underway now!"

"Woah, woah, woah… back up a minute." I noticed Alice shooting daggers at Rose who got really quiet suddenly. "What's this Get Bella Laid nonsense?"

Alice looked a little sheepish, but she led me to the couch and sat next to me. "Well, it really wasn't a full plan until today."

I raised my brows at her, urging her to continue.

"You see, Rose thought you might be a little more… relaxed, if you had sex. But I swear we weren't going to do anything about it. That is until you mentioned this morning that you wanted to lose your virginity. Hence plan Get Bella Laid."

Now I was the one shooting daggers, at both Alice and Rose. I couldn't believe they would do this to me. But then I realized that they hadn't really _done_ anything to me. I had done everything on my own so far, and look where that had gotten me. Fumbling hands, eager mouths, and curious wanderings were the results of my own doing.

"Bella, it's not like we actually had time to formulate a real plan. We were just going to give you some pointers to help you on your way. Apparently, after what we just were able to witness through the peephole, you don't need much guidance." Rose was smirking at me, a smirk that put me a little on edge. "In fact, if I didn't know you better, I'd question your sincerity about being a virgin."

My eyes widened at her last statement. Did she really think that? Did Edward? Maybe he did think I was easy. I know I had basically told him I had zero experience, but now that I'd literally attacked him in the hallway he might have different thoughts about that. I groaned and put my head in my hands. What was I going to do? There was no way I'd be able to really look him in the eyes again. Fate was going to force me one way or the other. I would either have to give in to Edward, or avoid him like the plague. Avoiding him was looking like a better option more and more.

"Rose, do you think Edward questions my virginity too?" It sounded muffled as my hands were still covering my face, but I knew she'd get the gist of it.

Alice started rubbing my back. When I initially imagined having roommates in college, I never really considered the comforting, advice, and guidance we'd be giving each other. Well, I hadn't really done anything for either of them and I didn't think there really was anything I could do for either of them, but it was the thought that counted, right?

Alice's voice was calm in my ear, "Bella, if you told him you were inexperienced, I'm sure he believes you. You have absolutely no guile."

"So I'm the naïve lamb to be led to slaughter?"

"Jesus Bella, you're one extreme or the other, aren't you?" I could tell Rose wasn't really mad, but she gave one hell of an imitation.

"Well, I'm sorry if I flip from one extreme to the other too quickly for you. It's not like I've ever been in this kind of situation before today. I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to feel or how I'm supposed to act. So if it's not to your liking, you can just leave me the hell alone."

I was on my feet now; my emotions were burning through me with white hot intensity. Shame, embarrassment, fury, and desire all raced through my veins, fighting for control. I was so confused, so lost, and I didn't know how to get to a safe haven. In that moment, I was the tempest.

"Oh calm down diva. You need to learn how to take a fucking joke." Her hands were on her hips and she was staring me down. Alice was standing off to the side wringing her hands. It was clear she was torn about where her allegiance lay. Should she back up her lifelong friend, or come to my aide? Either way, someone would be mad. Then, like that, Rose's demeanor changed. Her eyes softened and her smile was sad.

"Look Bella, I know you're frightened and confused. We've all been there at some point. But lucky for you, Alice and I are here to help you, should you need it." It was the first gesture Rose had made toward me with no malice at all. We had turned a corner somewhere in our tenuous relationship but it was clear neither of us knew where we really stood.

No one spoke for a moment. I think all of us realized the change and none of us wanted to stir up too much. Alice broke the silence first, coming forward and taking my hand. "Bella, are you okay?"

Tears rushed forward and popped out faster than I could blink them back. "I don't know Alice. I'm so scared. I've never felt this way before, and I don't know what to do about it. Part of me wants to run to him and not let go… but the other part of me, the one that knows better and promised me never to get me into this kind of situation… it's terrified. In fact, it's screaming at me to run far and fast in the opposite direction. I'm so torn.

What happens if I fall in love with him? He's so fucking charming and perfect sometimes." I paced around the room, trying to air out all of my fears. "I have no faith that relationships can work out in the end. I saw my father destroyed by my mother's death my entire life."

"Bella," Alice cut me off, looking a little confused. "I don't think I understand."

I turned to her and for the first time in my life, tried to explain my promise. "It's hard to explain. When you fall in love with someone and get married, you vow to love them for life. Better or worse, sickness and health, all of that, right? Even though you weather storms together and you take the good with the bad, it sometimes seems so perfect. Everything is where it's supposed to be in your life. You live under a perfect sky.

But what happens when illusions shatter and you're left alone? It doesn't turn into something real. It turns into a fucking disaster. You have a broken heart, a kid to raise on your own, and your perfect sky is torn. I saw that happen to my father. I saw him shut things out of his life that reminded him of my mother. He never once seemed to have any other romantic relationships or inklings with any other woman in the 16 years since my mother died.

Edward makes me feel like I have no control. I feel vulnerable around him… like I'm stripped bare and left lying on the floor for everyone to see. He lures emotions and feelings out of me that I swore I would never have. I don't want anyone to have the power to crush me. I don't want to live my life a nearly empty shell because someone up and died on me. Charlie may have survived it, but he didn't weather it well. He's only a shell of the former man he used to be."

I looked up, noticing they were both silently crying. They were both watching me, listening to what I was saying. I struggled to continue; wanting to make sure they understood.

"What would happen to me if Edward decided he didn't want me? I'm afraid he's already much too close for my comfort level. I can feel him when he's near me, and I haven't know him all that long. It's almost like part of him is in me, coursing through my veins. It would rip something out of me that I don't have to give if he gets too close. I don't think I can see him anymore."

Silent tears were tracking down my face. I sagged against the wall and slid down, resting my head on my knees as I cried for what I was already giving up. I had cried more over Edward than I had in all my previous years in total. He was already pulling things out of me I wasn't prepared to give. I felt two pair of arms wrap solidly around me.

"Bella, don't you see it's already too late? Surely even you can see that you're already falling in love with him." Rose had cut down to the quick of it. I was falling in love with Edward. That's what all those feeling of terror were building from.

"I think it's bigger than that," Alice continued. "It's more than just falling in love with him. I think it was fated that you would meet him. Sure there's drama sometimes, and there's heartache too, but there's also so much joy that you'd be shutting out. If Edward can show you an ounce of joy, maybe it's all worth it in the end."

"Maybe you guys are right." I responded as we sat there and cried.

* * *

I didn't see Edward the following day. I felt bad for breaking my promise to him, but I had to get a better gauge of what was going on in my heart before I could face him again. The days went by and the first day of class finally arrived and I still hadn't seen Edward, but not for his lack of trying. Alice and Rose had been my guardians at the gate, so to speak, and were able to block his entry every time he came to the door. I had to give him credit though, the boy was certainly persistent.

I made my way to my second class of the day, The Classics, which I was sure would be one of my favorites. I was nearly certain that I would have already read all of the books we would cover, but that didn't phase me. Rereading was like visiting an old friend. Just because I knew how the story would end didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the journey again. It also gave me the opportunity to notice things I had missed the previous times reading them, or to appreciate the author's ability to progress from one scene to another.

I sat down in the middle of the room and thought about my classes this semester. My schedule wasn't too difficult, but how could it be if I was in mostly English classes? Of course, I had to have some kind of math, science, and physical education classes as well, but that was the least of my worries for now. This semester I was loaded up with mostly reading and writing, two things I enjoyed more than anything else.

My skin started humming right before I heard his voice. "Is anyone sitting here?" I looked up to see Edward standing beside me, a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Um… no, there's no one sitting there." He sat down in the seat beside me and just stared at me.

"You're avoiding me." I should have learned by now that he wasn't one for beating around the bush.

"I'm sorry. I just need to get my head in order before I can have any kind of…" _any kind of what? _"relationship with you." _That works as well as anything else._

"Hmmm. I think you're telling me the truth." Before we could say anymore, the professor walked in and started class.

My nerves were frayed and I was having trouble concentrating. Just knowing he was there was enough to drive me mad, but added to that was the spark between us. There was a pull to him like nothing I had ever experienced before. Like the moon controls the tides of the ocean, Edward was drawing me closer, pulling me in. The sick part was that he wasn't even trying. It was just him. Irresistible. Mouthwatering. Succulent.

"On Thursday we'll be starting our Shakespearean portion of the semester. Your book list is on the syllabus, I expect all of you to have the first three books by then." Then we were dismissed by Professor… what was his name? I hadn't really heard a single word the man had said the entire class. I put the blame for that squarely on Edward's shoulders.

"Should be a piece of cake for Classics fans such as ourselves, huh?" Edward said. What the hell was he talking about? Had he really been able to concentrate at all? Apparently I didn't have the same effect on him that he had on me.

"What?" It was all I could come up with in my stupor.

His eyes were twinkling back at me, like he knew exactly what my predicament was. "Did you look at your syllabus at all?" Syllabus? What syllabus? He gestured toward a packet sitting on my desk and I felt the blood pool in my cheeks.

"Oh, yeah… right. Piece of cake." Of course, I had no clue what the hell I was talking about, but I wasn't about to admit that. I grabbed the packet and stuffed it into my bag before making my way toward the door.

Edward grabbed my arm before I could make it out of the building. "Bella, can I talk to you?"

I sighed before casting my eyes to the sky, like the answers I sought were hidden behind the white fluffy clouds. "What is it Edward?"

He was shifting from one foot to another looking extremely nervous about something. "When's your next class?"

"I'm done for the day. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my light days since I work at the library those days. But I have to be at the library at 3." I glanced down at my watch. "Which is in 4 hours."

"Would you go to lunch with me? Now?" He still looked nervous, but I couldn't figure what reason he had to be nervous about anything.

"Um… okay, I guess. Let me call Alice and cancel our plans." I stepped away for a moment to call Alice and let her know what was going on. She urged me to just go with the flow and let whatever happened happen. I promised I would try.

When I walked back over to Edward, he had the bridge of his nose pinched between his finger and thumb. I was instantly concerned that something was wrong. "Is everything okay, Edward?" I put a hand on his arm and he jumped.

His nervous laughter tainted the air around us and my guard went up. "Sorry, you startled me. Everything is fine." His eyes told me he was lying though. They were guarded.

"I don't believe you. I can see it in your eyes." I hadn't meant to say that last part, but it fell out of my mouth before I could stop it.

His eyes widened a bit before they softened and he gave me a genuine smile. "Perhaps you're right."

"Tell me what's wrong," I demanded. I wasn't budging and inch until he told me.

He sighed in frustration before his eyes met mine again. I was lost in their green depths before he spoke. "I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong when it comes to you. I feel like I'm pushing you away before we even get to know each other."

I laughed at the irony of his statement. He thought he was pushing me away but I could feel the pull to him even now with a safe distance between us. "Is that what you think?"

"Why wouldn't I think that? You wouldn't see me, you had your friend bar me from your room, and you hook at me with something like fear now. It makes me edgy, and I've never felt that way before."

"And here I thought I had absolutely no effect on you."

Confusion masked his face. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I didn't hear a single word that professor said because you were sitting so close to me. You, on the other hand, appear to be completely unaffected."

"Is that what you think?" I was barely able to nod my head before I was pulled into the hard lines of his body. His face was very close to mine and I could feel his desire poking me in the belly. "Does that feel like I'm unaffected Bella? Do you feel what you do to me when you're near me? Can you _feel_ how much I want you?"

His mouth crashed down on mine in a kiss similar to the one we shared in front of my room a few days ago. The moan escaped me before I could get my bearings. He pulled his mouth from mine and we were both gasping for air. "I could barely stop myself from grabbing you in the middle of class and tearing into you. Your smell was driving me wild. The more I'm with you, the more I feel like I'm losing control of myself."

I stared at him in shock. Was he being serious? I really did that to him? I was both thrilled and alarmed. "Really?"

He pressed his forehead into mine before he whispered to me, "Yes, Bella. Yes really." Then he kissed me again, soft and sweet and I felt my bones melt as he slowly and surely broke down the last of my resistance to him. He took his time as his mouth moved over mine and by the time he was done, I was irrevocably his.

* * *

­EPOV

As I made my way back to my room, I couldn't help but smile. Sure I was going to be tortured later and require and extremely cold shower, and possibly some self loving, but I had finally made contact with Bella. _You made contact alright._ I faltered as the thought invaded my brain. I was a little concerned at my lack of control around her. It worried me some that all rational thought had ceased and I had been overcome with desire.

I hadn't meant for things to go so far so fast. I certainly hadn't meant to act so savage, but something about Bella undermined my self control. I had simply meant to kiss her and show her a little passion. Then Bella had invaded my senses and the lust and desire had coursed through me making everything else pale in comparison.

In my defense, I hadn't expected her to come alive in my arms that way. Who would have thought that someone so innocent could have completely eclipsed all reason and sanity for me? In that moment, all that had existed was Bella and me. Nothing like that had ever happened to me. No other girl had ever made me forget so thoroughly the who, where, and why. The who I was, the where we were, and why I had initiated the kiss to begin with.

The moment her mouth met mine, I was driven to take, to consume. At least it hadn't been one-sided. She had been just as hopelessly lost as I had been. For one brief and glorious moment, she had taken the lead and I had followed meekly behind, anxious to let her take me wherever she wanted to go. She had tempted me, teased me, and controlled me. That had been before realization dawned on me that I was desperately close to ravaging her in the fucking hallway, where anyone could have happened across us.

I wondered if I had taken Bella by surprise, or if I had frightened her away. She didn't know what she was doing really; she had just been swept up in the moment and had reacted. It was one fucking hell of a reaction, one I wouldn't mind repeating, but what would happen when reality set in for her? For one pithy moment I considered rushing back to her door and beating it down. I couldn't let her think things through too carefully. If that happened, she might just push me away.

I'd never seen a girl as skittish about relationships as she had been. She had been serious about never allowing herself to get involved with anyone. Sure, I had thought along the same lines, even as recently as a few weeks ago, but that was all before Bella. And to top things off, I had completely different reasons. Carlisle was a complete and total ass that had no more love for Esme than he did for me. It was enough to turn anyone off on the idea or concept of love.

Bella was scared. She had her reasons; after all she had seen her father mourn over his dead wife for as long as she could remember. How could you fight something as intangible as someone's fears? Was it possible? Me? I was a cynic. That had also been before Bella. She had opened my eyes to a world of wonder and I was bound and determined to never let her go.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I stopped dead in my tracks, right in front of my door. Was I really contemplating a forever with Bella? The idea certainly had merit, but was it something that either of us was ready for? The answer to that was an emphatic no, but could I see something like that occurring in the future? After thinking about it for a moment I decided that yes, I could. I could definitely see a future with someone as enigmatic as Bella. But now the real question, could I convince her of that?

I opened my door to the familiar sight of Jasper and Emmett watching ESPN. I wondered if our television had ever been tuned to any other station, but brushed it off and inconsequential. What did things like TV stations matter when I had Bella on my mind?

Jasper looked up from where he was when he heard the door and nearly gaped at me. I wondered what condition I was in to warrant that kind of reaction but brushed it off. "Where have _you_ been?"

I actually fucking sighed before saying, "I was with Bella." They should have known that, but it seemed like they had expected me to bomb my impromptu meeting with her.

Jasper and Emmett exchanged a glance before Emmett asked, "And what exactly were you doing with Bella?"

It wasn't a new question. We often talked about our exploits, but something felt different about this time and I didn't want to share. I breezed by them and gathered my shower caddy and pajamas from my room.

On my way back to the door, Emmett spoke again, "Well? You gonna answer me?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. "A gentleman never tells." I started back for the door when Jasper spoke again.

"Where are you going now?" He always was such a mother hen.

"To take a cold shower," I muttered. I closed the door behind me to the sound of Emmett's wild laughter. _Asshole_.

* * *

The next morning, I woke in the best mood I'd been in since I could remember. I was going to be spending time with Bella today. I wasn't sure whether she would see me alone or if she'd insist on Jasper and Alice being there as well as she'd never clarified, but none of that really mattered. I'd still be seeing Bella.

I rose quickly and got dressed, trying to rush through my morning activities so that I could spend as much time with her as possible. I decided to just go down to her room alone on the off chance she didn't care about the others not tagging along.

Jasper already had coffee waiting, as per usual, but this morning I didn't really need it. Of course I drank it anyway, and sitting in the common area of our room my thoughts wandered back to sitting with Bella at the coffee shop on campus. Would I ever be able to drink another cup of coffee without thinking of her? Actually, would I ever be able to even _smell_ coffee without my thoughts drifting to her?

It didn't matter either way, I had her in my life now and I wasn't going to let her go. There was nothing in this world that could keep me from the feelings she was able to draw from me. I was actually happy with where I was in life, even if that meant I'd have to go into the medical field. With Bella by my side, I could tackle the world.

When enough time had passed that I wouldn't seem desperate, I made my way down the hallway and knocked on Bella's door. It swung open revealing the stunning blonde that Emmett had been admiring. She looked me up and down before cocking her brow.

"Can I help you?" she purred at me. There was nothing really sexual in her tone; it seemed to come naturally to her.

"I'm Edward. Is Bella available?" The tingle across my skin wasn't welcome like the one I got from Bella. This one forebode of bad things. Something was wrong with Bella.

The blonde sighed before a sad smile graced her lips. "I'm sorry Edward, but Bella isn't feeling too well today. I'll tell her you stopped by." Then she shut the door in my face.

I stood there for a moment in shock. Bella had promised me she would see me today. I nearly knocked again and demanded to see her, but I knew that wouldn't win me any brownie points. Instead, I slowly made my way back to my room.

I felt dejected. I feared that I had moved to quickly last night and scared her off. This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. I was supposed to be spending time with her today, treating her like a lady, and showing her how special she was. Instead I'd be spending time with either Emmett or by myself. Jasper would more than likely be spending time with Alice, a fact that darkened my bright mood considerably. Why couldn't anything like that happen to me?

It was at that point I knew it was going to be a long Saturday.

The following morning, I was hoping that today I would be seeing Bella. I feared that I was getting my hopes up, but that didn't stop me from being optimistic. Surely she wouldn't break a promise, would she? At the very least, I wanted to apologize for being so forward on Friday night. I desperately wanted to tell her that I hadn't intended for things to happen that way. I just needed to see her.

Jasper hadn't been able to gather any information about her from Alice. I suspected he was lying, but was too heartbroken to call him on it. Even if he wasn't lying, I'm sure he hadn't tried too hard in fear of turning Alice away from him. I could hardly blame him.

Again, I made my way down to her room, hoping she was feeling better. I had my doubts that she had been ill the day before, but I wasn't going to tell her that. I didn't want to do anything to piss her off. Like calling her a liar.

This time, Alice answered the door. She looked at me with something akin to pity when I asked if Bella was home. She glanced behind her, rolled her eyes, and sighed. "I'm sorry Edward, today isn't a good day." At least she had the decency to not shut the door in my face. One look at my crestfallen features was enough for her to place her tiny hand on my arm. "Time. All you can do is give her time."

I said goodbye, and made my way back to my room once more. My mood was darkening again and I was going slightly insane. I tried calling her room several times throughout the day, but each time I was told that Bella wasn't available. I nearly went to her room and beat down the door. Who did she think she was stirring up all the emotions in me and then turning a cold shoulder? How the fuck had she gotten into my skin this way?

It was another long day.

Monday morning dawned and I nearly didn't get out of bed. I had been thinking about Bella continuously since our encounter on Friday night and I wondered how long it would be until I saw her again. Alice had said to give her time, but I was impatient. Why would I want to give her time to figure out she didn't want to be with me? The thought was insanity. No, I wouldn't allow her thoughts to travel that way. I had to show her I was determined to be with her.

I didn't even bother changing out of my flannel pants and my tee shirt before I raced down the hall and started pounding on the door. I hadn't even checked the clock and had no clue what time it was. Apparently it was fairly early considering the blonde answered in her pajamas and a heavy scowl.

She took one look at me and before I could say one word she said, "Come back another time," and slammed the door in my face.

When I got back to my room, I noticed that it was barely 6. I was slightly embarrassed that I hadn't bothered to check before my mad dash down the hall. I had been so focused on seeing Bella that everything else had faded into the background.

I showered and got ready only to return to my room and sit on the couch to brood. Jasper and Emmett had been giving me a wide berth since the previous day, hoping to escape my ire. I was beginning to think that I needed Bella in order to attain some semblance of sanity.

Around noon I made my way back to her room and knocked once more. The blonde opened the door again and glared at me. Before she could slam the door again, I put my hand up to stop it. "It's later," was all I said.

Her look softened slightly before she cast a glance over her shoulder. When she was sure the coast was clear, she stepped out and closed the door gently behind her. She leaned back against the door and eyed me speculatively.

She muttered, "Bella is going to kill me," before she continued. "Look Edward. I know you think coming down here and being all persistent and Cro-Magnon man will make Bella want to see you, but that's not going to work."

"While I appreciate your advice…" I trailed off, realizing for the first time that I didn't know her name.

"Rosalie," she supplied.

"Rosalie." I nodded in gratitude. "While I appreciate your advice, I need to see Bella. I just want to talk to her."

"She's not going to like me telling you this, but I think you'll be good for her, so I'll tell you anyway. Bella is terrified of you."

The thought alone nearly brought me to my knees. I knew I had been aggressive, but I hadn't meant to scare her. "Is she okay? I didn't hurt her did I?"

Rosalie's entire demeanor changed instantly. "I think you might truly care for her." She seemed a little shocked at the admission, but she went on. "You didn't hurt her Edward. I meant that she's terrified of how you make her feel. Bella likes you, a lot. That's something she's not entirely comfortable with."

The thought haunted me for the rest of the night. Did Bella really feel that way? From the tone of our conversation at the coffee shop, she did. Then added to that was the fact that she was trying to get out of seeing me anymore. That was before we ended up mauling each other in the hallway. Maybe Rosalie was right, maybe Bella was terrified of a relationship with me. It was something new; she'd never been in a relationship before, that much she had told me.

I wasn't really sure how I was going to ease Bella past this. Did I tell her I couldn't stop thinking about her? That would probably scare her away. Did I go the friend route? Get her used to being around me before I pushed her into more? I would probably die of frustration in the process. On top of all of that, there was the chemistry between us. A spark. It couldn't be denied and it couldn't be ignored. I was drawn to Bella and I'm pretty sure it was the same for her, if not she wouldn't be so scared.

I needed time to figure this out. I decided I'd be waiting for her tomorrow night when she got off work at the library. I could claim to just be walking that way at that time. It would, in essence, be true. Tomorrow there would be another piano lesson with Tanya and my own personal practice time. While I wasn't looking forward to the first, I was in desperate need of the second. I needed an outlet for my frustration as much as I needed inspiration on how to handle my feelings for Bella, and what I was going to do about them.

Tomorrow night would be soon enough. I had a war to wage.

* * *

The following morning I made my way to my English class. I had signed up for The Classics before I knew Bella, but after our meeting in the library the thought of them brought a fond memory. Bella would probably love this class. I'd have to suggest it to her in the future.

The classroom was already about halfway full when I made my way. I felt a tingle rush through my body and my eyes were drawn to the middle of the room. There, in the fourth row, was Bella. The row was mostly empty and no one had sat next to her yet. She looked lost in her thoughts but as I approached her I saw her body shift, like she sensed me there. I leaned down and whispered to her, "Is anyone sitting here?"

She looked up and I was once again staring into her beautiful brown eyes. I couldn't stop the grin from forming on my face. She looked a little stunned but was able to manage, "Um… no, there's no one sitting there." Her cheeks flushed slightly as I sat, looking at her. I couldn't believe my luck. I was afraid that if I looked away she would disappear. I don't think I could have handled it if I was only imagining her sitting next to me.

"You're avoiding me." The words were out without my brain registered that I wanted to say it.

She bowed her head some, looking at the notebook in front of her. I thought she was going to ignore me before she said, "I'm sorry. I just need to get my head in order before I can have any kind of…" She trailed off, searching for the right words, "relationship with you." She looked conflicted and I counted that to my advantage.

"Hmmm. I think you're telling me the truth." She was a horrible liar, and she looked too confused there was no way she could have been acting. Just then, the professor walked in the room.

The entire class period, I kept half my attention focused on Bella. She still looked preoccupied and I wondered if she was having trouble concentrating too. I caught words here and there from Professor… Banner. Mostly it was discussion about what was expected of us. I scanned the syllabus that had been handed out without really taking much of it in. I did notice a few of my favorites and was glad that I had chosen this class. I also considered the added benefit of being able to discuss those books with Bella.

All my thoughts seemed to be centered around Bella. It seemed fate didn't want me to wait until this evening for me to talk to her. It was shoving me toward her, telling me that this was what was meant to be. She had been tailored just for me.

I could smell her next to me the entire class. By the end of the class, it was making me dizzy and I had visions of grabbing her and taking her, right there in the middle of class. She was my aphrodisiac. Everything about her called to me making my desire known and my pants uncomfortable. Luckily, the professor broke through my thoughts before I snapped.

"On Thursday, we'll be starting our Shakespearean portion of the semester. Your book list is on the syllabus, I expect all of you to have the first three books by then. Class dismissed."

"Should be a piece of cake for Classics fans such as ourselves, huh?" If only I could draw her into a conversation I'd find a way to break the ice.

"What?" She looked slightly dazed, like she had no clue what was going on.

"Did you look at your syllabus at all?" She'd been staring intently at the damn thing for the entirety of class. Surely she had noticed the books we would be covering. Then she blushed making me wonder what was going on in her head.

"Oh, yeah… right. Piece of cake." Why was she embarrassed? And why was she trying to get away from me without really talking to me? I grabbed her elbow before she could make it out of the building.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" I was slightly nervous about how I would broach the conversation, but I was determined to get it done. I wasn't going to let Bella just walk away from me. I was going to prove to her that I wouldn't hurt her.

She sighed and I knew she had been avoiding me on purpose. "What is it Edward?" It sounded so final, like she was trying to convince herself she was done with me.

I couldn't bear that. It made me edgy. What if she turned me down? I had to know the answer either way. I made up my mind, we were going to talk. "When's your next class?" I inquired.

"I'm done for the day. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my light days since I work at the library those days. But I have to be at the library at 3." I silently rejoiced as she checked her watch. Fate indeed. "Which is in 4 hours," she finished.

She still had the chance to turn me down though, when I finally worked up the nerve to ask. "Would you go to lunch with me? Now?" _Yes now, before I lose my nerve._

"Um… okay, I guess. Let me call Alice and cancel our plans." I had to physically stop myself from doing a happy dance. Not only had she agreed to go with me to lunch, but she was canceling plans with her roommate to go with me. Then I remembered why I was going to lunch with her. I still wasn't sure how I was going to do this. How I was going to get her comfortable with being around me.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" She put her hand on my arm and startled me. I lost track of how long she'd been on the phone. I couldn't help but laugh at how consumed I was by thoughts of her.

"Sorry, you startled me. Everything is fine." _Or will be once I figure out what to say._

"I don't believe you. I can see it in your eyes." I wasn't sure how she was able to read me so well. My family certainly had never learned to do that and I had lived with them my entire life. Yet here was this girl that I had only known for a matter of days and she already knew exactly how I was really feeling. The realization stunned me but please me more than anything.

"Perhaps you're right." _Perhaps I _can_ convince you that this is fate._

"Tell me what's wrong." Her stance was set and I knew she was determined to have this conversation here and now. At least a reason for why I wanted to talk to her.

I sighed, now or never. "I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong when it comes to you. I feel like I'm pushing you away before we even get to know each other." _There. I said it._ Perhaps we could build that friendship from here. Non-threatening, yet so rewarding at the same time.

"Is that what you think?" Surely she was kidding. How could she not know what I thought after she'd been hiding from me for 3 days?

"Why wouldn't I think that? You wouldn't see me, you had your friends bar me from your room, and when you look at me there's something like fear in your eyes now. It makes me edgy, and I've never felt like that before." I'd lay some of it on the line without letting her know how much I craved being in her presence already.

"And here I thought I had absolutely no effect on you." _What? Does she not remember Friday night?_

"What is that supposed to mean?" She was going to tell me. That much I was certain of.

"Well, I didn't hear a single word that professor said because you were sitting so close to me. You, on the other hand, appear to be completely unaffected." Could she really not see me fumbling around here? She had to sense my anxiety, it was nearly palpable.

"Is that what you think?" I tossed her words back at her before I yanked her into me. I leaned my face into hers and made sure she could feel how much I wanted her. Just being around her left me in a state of need. "Does that feel like I'm unaffected Bella? Do you feel what you do to me when you're near me? Can you _feel_ how much I want you?" Screw easing her into a relationship. If she was going around with these bizarre ideas in her head, I was going to set her straight. She thought I didn't want her? I'd have to show her differently.

My mouth met hers in an angry kiss. I poured all of my desire and frustration into the kiss, hoping she would feel everything I was harboring for her. She moaned into my mouth and I pulled away, both of trying to suck as much air as possible into our lungs. The confessions started spilling out of my mouth. "I could barely stop myself from grabbing you in the middle of class and tearing into you. Your smell was driving me wild. The more I'm with you, the more I feel like I'm losing control of myself."

She looked surprised and doubtful of my admissions. "Really?"

I pressed my forehead down into hers. My heart was lost to this self-conscious, beautiful, charming girl. "Yes, Bella. Yes really." The raw lust had been cleared from my brain leaving nothing but tender thoughts for her. I showed that tenderness in my kiss, the kiss that _should _have been our first. But it wasn't too late to show it to her now. And just like that I was hers. Infinitely hers.

* * *

Author's Note: Everybody on the count of 3. 1… 2… 3… Awwww.

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. The end of the school year is approaching and with field trips and field days and early release, I've been pretty busy. Plus there was Memorial Day weekend, a three day weekend. The zoo, the local amusement park, my oldest daughter's first dance recital… yeah, it's been pretty crazy around here.

As always, a special thanks goes out to Jen, because she's the most wonderful person in the whole wide world, and she's my mastah beta. I'd also like to send a warm thank you to my review team: Kelly, Joy, and Lillie. They always assure me that it's going well. Or they tell me if it's not working. I don't know what I would do without any of them.

There were two songs that inspired this chapter, one for Bella's PoV and another for Edward's. Bella's was Torn by Natalie Imruglia and Edward's was Use Somebody by Kings of Leon.

Now, I hope you will click that little button down there and let me know what you thought. I would mean so much to me.

xoxo

Nan


	16. Broken

**Disclaimer: Not mine… **

"_God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lesson we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them." ~Stanley Lindquist_

_**Chapter Fourteen – Broken**_

BPOV

It was the kiss that changed everything. The one that broke my resolve and crushed any resistance I had. He had won and I could deny him nothing. I imagined he would sense that somehow and press his luck. Now would be the time where he would lead me back to his room and have his wicked way with me.

Or that's what I had been warned would happen, but it didn't. Edward didn't press, instead he just held me, safe in his arms. I wondered later if I would have willingly gone with him at that time. Would I have given up my virginity so easily? I had talked about being ready, but was I really?

Maybe I wasn't ready per se, but I knew I would have given it up without a fight. I knew Edward was the one. Boundaries had been pushed every time we were together, but nothing had happened…yet.

Every time we started to get carried away, one of us would remember that we were in public or some other place inappropriate for our behavior. I wasn't entirely sure if it was by accident or design. Either way, one of us was going to combust at this rate. And soon.

Otherwise, life was good. We were all settling into our classes and routines. Every Tuesday after class, Edward and I would have lunch. Then, after work at the library on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Edward would be there waiting and we would walk around campus or go to the coffee shop. On Fridays, Edward would come to the library an hour before close, an iced caramel macchiato in hand.

The weekends were more problematic. As much as I would have liked to spend all of my free time with Edward, Alice would never allow it. Sometimes I was allowed to be with him alone, sometimes we would go somewhere with Alice and Jasper, but most of the time I was with the girls.

Rose and I still had an on again/off again relationship, but it had gotten more stable since she had started dating a guy in her financial planning class. This had also tested our relationship though, or strained it slightly.

At least once a week either Jasper or Edward would mention their other roommate, Emmett. Emmett had a thing for the 'buxom blonde' and as much as the title had amused Rosalie, she said she wasn't interested in dating a Meat Head. Her words, not mine.

Rose said that she was perfectly content with Royce. Royce was the only son of big New York financer, Laurent King. The King family owned or had strings attached to a huge portion of New York. Actually, if you wanted to get technical, they were involved with a large portion of New England.

I think Rose liked the idea of being linked to someone that influential and important. Or she liked the gifts and dinners, at least. If I had learned anything at all about Rose, it was that she enjoyed being pampered.

Apparently that didn't deter Emmett though. According to Edward and Jasper, Emmett was determined to win over Rosalie. He mentioned getting her away from slime like Royce. All three of the guys were leery of Royce, but none of them would give a reason why.

While overall everything was fine, I couldn't help but feel that Edward was hiding something from me. Every Tuesday and Thursday he would act tense all day, but by the evening he would be fine. If I asked, he would brush me off and tell me he was just anxious for his scheduled practice time.

I knew Edward played the piano, but I had yet to hear him play. Part of me wanted so badly to hear him, but I figured he would offer if he really wanted to. Maybe he didn't really want to share his music. I wasn't going to push. He would let me know if he was ever ready.

Before I knew it, Thanksgiving break was approaching. Charlie had insisted that since I wouldn't allow him to help me with my finances that I had no choice but to let him pay for a plane ticket home every break. Who was I to deny him? The only time I had tried, he pointed out how much money I was actually saving him because of my scholarship. I stopped trying after that. So as it stood, I would be flying home next week to spend Thanksgiving with Charlie, on his dime.

I wondered what Edward was planning for the holidays, but he never talked about it. He was very tight-lipped about his family and I didn't know why. Part of me was hurt that he insisted on knowing everything there was to know about me but was extremely hesitant to share details about himself. It was frustrating. Every time he avoided a question I could feel another chink in my heart.

I walked into the library on Tuesday with my mind full of Edward. My mind was usually full of Edward but this time I was trying to find a way to draw him out of his shell. I didn't notice Mrs. Cope standing behind the reference desk.

"Hello Bella, dear." I started at the sound of her voice and heard her boisterous laughter. "Seems like someone has her head in the clouds."

"Hello Shelly. I didn't notice you standing there."

"Oh, I have no doubt about that," she teased. "What's his name?"

I blinked at her a few times before I could find my voice. "What do you mean?"

She laughed again, filling the quiet building with its sound. "Child, when a woman has a look like that on her face, she's definitely thinking about a man." Then she tapped her finger to her lips, "Unless of course she's a lesbian that is. Then I suppose she would be thinking about another woman."

The thought alone of motherly Mrs. Cope talking about lesbians was amusing enough, but actually witnessing it was even better. I laughed until my sides hurt, then I remembered that we were in the library and I sobered up quickly. "We should be ashamed of ourselves," I said with a giggle, "causing such a ruckus in a serious place of learning."

She smiled at me and shook her head. "How right you are, but this time its okay. I take it you didn't notice the sign on the door?"

I furrowed my brow and realized that I didn't really even remember walking here, much less seeing something on the door. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't."

"I can imagine," she teased again. "Anyway, there was a water main break under the library, so we had to close down while they're fixing it. I'm only here to let the guys in."

"Wow. So I have the night off." I smiled as ideas of what I could do raced through my head.

My face must have given me away because Mrs. Cope spoke again. "You should go find that boy of yours." Then she winked.

Suddenly I couldn't wait to get to Edward; I wanted to see him so badly. I didn't want o leave Mrs. Cope on her own though, it could get lonely. "How about I stick around with you for a little bit before I go?" I unexpectedly had the desire for some kind of motherly figure in my life; maybe Mrs. Cope could fill that role and soothe those needs. "Maybe I could tell you about my guy," I added hopefully.

Her eyes softened and she smiled at me. "I'd love to hear about him."

I spent the next while telling Mrs. Cope all about Edward and my previous vow to never get involved in a relationship. She told me I was being ridiculous for denying my heart over something as silly as fear. She also told me that without some loss there was never any gain. I couldn't help but take her seriously; she was someone with far more life experience than I had.

"I've also had this hope that one day he'll let me hear him play the piano. He never really opens up about his music though," my earlier thoughts came back to me. "Actually, he never really opens up about anything."

"Have you asked him to play for you? Maybe he thinks you aren't interested."

I thought back to all of my previous conversations with Edward. Had I given him the impression that I didn't care? I didn't think so, but how could I be sure? The only way was to just tell Edward. "You're right. I should just tell him. Thanks."

"Anytime dear. You should also tell him that it hurts you when he shuts you out of his life. If he wants a real relationship with you, one that will work, it has to be equal."

I raised a brow in surprise. She was much more intuitive that I had ever given her credit for. "Thanks again. I'll be sure to do that."

"Now go. Find him and talk to him." I didn't need to be told twice. I quickly gathered my things and after a hasty goodbye, I was out the door and racing back to the dorm, back to Edward.

I ran as carefully as I could up the stairs. The last thing I wanted, or needed, was to trip and go tumbling down four flights of stairs. It was also a way to draw attention to myself and that was definitely something I didn't want or need.

When I got to Edward's room, I was slightly out of breath. I knocked quickly and tried to pull myself together. Emmett opened the door and I spoke before even giving him the chance. "I need to talk to Edward."

"Whoa girlie, where's the fire?" Emmett couldn't keep himself from cracking jokes.

"Not now Emmett, I need to see Edward."

"Well, he's not here. He's down at the Hopkins Center right now for his…"

I cut him off before he could finish, "Perfect! Thanks Emmett!" Then I took off down the hall, toward the Hopkins Center.

"Wait, Bella!" I heard Emmett yell after me but I couldn't be stopped.

Maybe I could catch Edward there. I checked the time, 4:30. Maybe he was still practicing and I would find him before he left. There was also a big chance I would get to hear him play. I briefly thought that it was awfully early for Edward to be practicing. Normally he practiced at 5:30 or so.

I raced towards the Hopkins Center as fast as I could. I thanked my lucky stars for the water main break and my chance to talk to Mrs. Cope. She had convinced me that I didn't need to hold my heart back. She had also made it clear that communication with Edward was the key. If we wanted this to work there could be no more secrets or evasions. I had to convince him now that I needed to know just as much about him as he needed to know about me. Nothing would stand in my way.

When I finally got to the Hopkins Center I realized I had no idea where he was. In my haste to get here, I had neglected to find out from Emmett which room he was in. There was no one behind the desk to tell me, but there was a log book of sorts on the counter. The label read: Practice Rooms.

My fingers reached for the book and I stopped. Would Edward be upset that I had just shown up like this? Then I thought about all of the times that he had just shown up at my work to see me and my resolve was set. I was going to find Edward. I flipped open the book to today's date and scanned through. That was confusing… why would Edward need two practice rooms at two different times? That didn't make sense.

I flipped forward to Thursday and there it was again, two rooms at two different times. I flipped back a few weeks and found that every Tuesday and Thursday was the same, one practice time with an upright, the other with a baby grand. I still had no clue why he would need two and nothing in my head was making any sense. I'd just have to find him and ask.

I made a note of each room and took off down one hallway. The practice room with the baby grand was empty, so I backtracked and made my way down the other hallway. The rooms on this side were smaller and there were nearly twice as many, but I checked every single one. Finally, I found the correct room at the end of the hall. I glanced inside, ready to knock, but what I saw nearly ripped my heart out.

Edward sat on the piano bench and I could tell he was lost in the music. The sight of him was beautiful and I craved to go to him. What stopped me was the strawberry blonde plastered to his side. I had seen her here and there on campus and knew she was stunningly beautiful. She was exactly the kind of girl I could see Edward with. Her hand was on his arm and she was leaning into him. It looked like such an intimate moment that I felt like an intruder.

She was sharing the moment with him that I had been craving like a drug. She was leaning into _my_ boyfriend and sharing his music. That thought stopped my rant. Edward and I had never discussed the specifics of our relationship. Maybe he was never really mine to begin with. The reality of the situation came crashing down on me. I had never meant anything to him at all. I was just some kind of conquest. The weight of the knowledge caused me to stumble into the door. Two pairs of eyes shot up to look at me, one pair filled with malicious glee, the other pair horrified.

Edward and I stared at each other through the glass for a long moment before my eyes shifted to the girl at his side. She had a smug, self righteous look on her face as she stared me down. I noticed Edward's attention shift out of the corner of my eye. I caught a brief flash of realization on his face before he was on his feet, nearly sending the girl tumbling off the bench.

I looked at him again and saw him take a few shaky steps toward me. Then I saw his magnificent mouth form my name and every ounce of control I had managed to hold on to shattered. I took off running out of the building, heading anywhere other than here. I could vaguely hear Edward shouting behind me, but I was too broken to care.

* * *

EPOV

At first, I was sure she was going to push me away. She'd been avoiding me for so long; the pain of the separation had me reeling. I had been desperate to see her, to make sure she was okay. Then the first thing I do is maul her? What the fuck is wrong with me? A girl like this deserved some tenderness, some affection. She didn't deserve to be grabbed like that in front of God and everyone.

As hard as it was going to be, I was going to have to keep my hormones in check around Bella. Take things slow. I knew she was nervous and that she was a virgin, and knowing that somehow increased my own anxiety. I remembered the stupid bet I had suggested the first day we were here… not that long ago really. The thought of gaining points for stealing Bella's virginity left a sour taste in my mouth. Something akin to bile.

Had I really been so callous about previous relationships? Sure I had never been looking for a long term anything in regards to women, but that didn't mean I had to be such a prick either. I had used women, soiled their virtue, and walked away whistling. These self-revelations didn't make me feel any better.

The only thing that made me feel better was Bella. She was so fresh, so innocently naïve. In her presence, perhaps I could regain some of my own youthful innocence. The carefree attitude I had once had before I turned into the cynical asshole that I am now. All for the love of a good woman.

I knew I loved Bella. It had been quite the shock to the system to realize that true love did indeed exist. She had me captivated, entranced. Everything about her made me yearn for more, know more, see more. Now I would just have to figure out how to properly woo Bella.

I swore to myself that this time I would be different. This time I would think about Bella. This time I would do things the right way. I was going to take my time. When we finally progressed to the next stage in our relationship, I would make love to Bella.

It wasn't nearly as easily said as it was done. Alice had prohibited Bella from spending every moment of her free time with me. She claimed that they needed their girl time too, and then there were the double dates with her and Jasper. That little sprite was going to drive me crazy! I just wanted to spend some time with my woman. Some quality time.

Rose and her boyfriend never joined us. While I didn't know Royce King personally, I had never heard a good word about him. Families with old money know all about each other's dirty secrets. In fact, in my world there are no secrets. If your wife is banging the pool boy, everyone knows it. If you're having an affair with your secretary, your buddy's wife is talking about it with the Garden Club. And if your progeny ever make any kind of blunder, it's fodder for the old cronies forever.

That was how we knew about Royce, the wonderful only child of Laurent King. He was the spoiled rich son of a man who indulged in his every whim. He had cars, he had boats, and he had women. Some had been purchased, most had come willing, but none of them had been treated well. Royce was known to have a hard hand and didn't always understand the meaning of the word no.

Of course, these were only rumors and no one knew for sure everything that had happened between Royce and any of his previous companions, but everyone sure had their suspicions. Especially when every time he was accused of being too rough with a girl, once the allegations were dropped the accuser usually had a shiny new car, or some insanely expensive bauble. The general consensus was that Royce King and his father paid for silence.

This bothered me. It bothered Jasper and Emmett as well. Alice and Rosalie should have heard something over the years. Of course, they had been in finishing school and really only spoke with each other. They had told me that they didn't have time for flighty, pretentious, stuck-up girls that traveled in our social class. As refreshing as that was, it still didn't fix the problem of Rose dating Royce.

I tried to push it out of my mind as best I could. Jasper and I even tried suggesting she meet Emmett. In fact, we usually tried to bring it up as often as possible. We had hoped that we could lure her away from danger by dangling the convenience of all of us hanging out and being friends. It wasn't working. She called Emmett a Meat Head and said she had no time for guys like that. As often as I could, I tried to come up with a way to tell Bella to get Rose away from Royce without raising too many flags. Since I had no proof, I had to tread carefully.

The rest of the time, or the short moments that I was allowed, I spent with Bella. With my new plan of taking things slow in motion, I tried to make sure that we were never somewhere too private. I couldn't be held accountable if my hormones went berserk while I had her in my room, alone, and spread across my bed. Just so that didn't happen, I avoided putting us into that situation.

Of course, that didn't stop the heavy petting or any of the kissing. In fact, it seemed that every time I started kissing Bella, all resolve flew out of my head and my hands moved on their own accord. Before I could stop things, I had Bella panting and writhing in my arms… in the common room. I immediately let her go and ran my fingers through my hair. Was I really going to have to give up kissing her so I didn't try to get in her pants every time I was near her?

The possibility scared me. I didn't want to stop kissing Bella. I didn't want to stop spending time with her either. I would just have to come up with a different solution. We had already been walking on the edge for weeks; I couldn't handle doing it much longer before I combusted.

To make matters worse, Tanya hadn't let up on her flirting at all. She had also started making veiled threats toward Bella. Stating how she could find out anything she wanted about her. Why would I want to be with some small town hick girl whose daddy was nothing better than the Chief of Police? Did I really want to taint the family line that way? All I would do is breed bad blood.

I was on edge. Seriously on edge. I had never struck a woman before in my life, but Tanya tempted me to change that. As much as the idea appalled me, if I had to hear her speak about Bella that way for much longer, something was going to snap. I had even dropped the subtlety. I flat out told her I wasn't interested in her and that she should just give up. That hadn't gone over too well. She insisted that I was playing hard to get and that one day I would see reason. She said that people like us belonged together. Perhaps she would have been right, if Bella had never walked into my life, but she had changed everything.

At least Tanya's luck seemed to be holding. We had the lesson tonight and the lesson on Thursday night before we had all next week off for Thanksgiving Break and I had yet to punch her in her mouth. That didn't mean I was really looking forward to seeing her though. I never looked forward to seeing Tanya. Just like Royce, she was another thing I was trying to figure out how to tell Bella about.

How do you warn the girl you love that just by associating with you she could be in danger? Not that Tanya would do anything harmful to Bella, at least I hoped she wouldn't, but she could ruin Bella financially, socially, and professionally. If Tanya really put her mind and her money to it, she could bring Bella to her knees. And if Bella found out about Tanya and defied her anyway, it was career suicide. I didn't know what to do.

The feeling was bleak amongst the three of us as we sat, staring at the TV. Emmett had been edgy since finding out about Royce. He couldn't likely run down and tell them himself, they might possibly accuse him of trying to tarnish Royce's name to get in Rosalie's pants. Or just to trick her away from him, but something had changed in Emmett as well. For some reason or another, he was completely focused on Rose. No other girl even crossed his radar. It was baffling how these three girls had completely turned our lives upside down.

Jasper and I obviously didn't want to push the issue with the girls. We were too scared to lose what we had just so recently found. On one hand, we all felt terrible that Rose could potentially be in grave danger and none of us had the balls to do anything about it. But what could we possibly even do? Even if we told her and she did believe us, what if she found out? All the things that Tanya had threatened to do to Bella, Royce could do all of those things and a million others to the three of us. His family was that damn important.

Instead, none of us even acknowledged the huge fucking elephant sitting in the middle of the room. Sooner or later we would have to do something about it, but right now I was too preoccupied about tonight. I didn't know what to do about Tanya. Every week she had shown up with some kind of new information about Bella, things that Bella had yet to share with me. It was maddening. While I craved to know every little detail about her that I could, it felt like a violation of her privacy that I was learning things this way.

I would have to tell Bella about this as well. I wish I could just run from this and hide, but that wouldn't solve anything. In fact, all that would do is cause more problems. I would have to face this head on… but not right now. I'd find a way to tell her tonight.

"I need to tell Bella all about Tanya." They both knew Tanya had been sharing information about Bella with me, but I hadn't told them what she had said. If Bella wanted any of us to know, she would have told us herself. I just wish she had trusted me with some of the information. Wasn't she proud that her father was the Chief of Police for their small town? I know they had a close relationship, so I couldn't imagine why she wouldn't tell me that. But that was only one of the many things that Tanya had shared with me.

Jasper eyed me for a minute. "I think it's the right thing to do, but how do you plan on going about it?"

Emmett on the other hand was very quiet for a moment. "Dude, you can't hurt her. She seems like such a good kid, don't scare her." Emmett had never really taken to anyone before like he took to Bella. The minute he met her, she had become his honorary little sister.

"I don't know what in the hell I'm going to do. How do you tell someone that they have a crazy stalker without scaring them? How do you tell them that unless they sever all ties with me, they're entire life could possibly be ruined, and not just theirs, but everyone around them too?" This was absolutely fucking ridiculous. Why wouldn't Tanya just let me be?

Neither of them had any answers for me. I didn't suspect they would. This wasn't exactly anything like the norm for any of us. All of the girls we had dealt with back in Chicago had been ditzy and slight of brain. Tanya's deviousness far surpassed anything we were experienced with.

Finally Emmett spoke again, "You just have to tell her. She has to know the deal Edward. You can't just leave her in the dark." For a moment I wasn't sure if he was talking about Bella or Rosalie, but all I could do was nod. Either way he was right. It didn't make me feel any better though.

* * *

I sat at the piano and fiddled around with Bella's lullaby. I had nearly completed it since I had started spending so much time with her. It was amazing how the piece just came together after realizing what kind of person she was and just talking to her. She really was amazing.

Playing her lullaby calmed me too. I couldn't help but allow the music to take me away when I was thinking of her. I knew she had a right to know about everything and I vowed to myself that I would tell her when I met her at the library tonight. I would have to reassure her that I wasn't planning on letting Tanya have her way too. Nothing could pull me away from Bella at this point.

At five to four Tanya waltzed into the practice room. My hands immediately stilled and my eyes narrowed in her direction. She had quickly become the bane of my existence. Before this it had always been Carlisle, it seemed I had just traded in for a prettier model. Not that any of that really mattered, I didn't want either one of them in my life.

She was batting her eyes at me like she didn't have a care in the world. The mask of innocence didn't fit her face well though; no one would ever buy that this girl could ever be prim and proper. "Hey Eddie," she purred at me. Her voice was all wrong, it was too nasally. The more I heard it, the more it grated on me.

"It's Edward," I snarled, stupidly taking her bait.

"Of course, Edward. My apologies." She smirked at me. She knew she had my attention. "How is your beloved Bella today?" One of these days she would mention Bella and find a fist in her fucking mouth.

"Let's just get on with the lesson." I unclenched my fists and laid them in my lap to keep from punching her. That was the last thing I needed right now.

Surprisingly enough, Tanya cooperated. At least in the sense that she wasn't overt in her flirting and she managed to keep her hands to herself. For the most part. She also kept her mouth shut about Bella. I hoped she could feel the aggression and the rage pouring off of me. I hoped she could feel the disgust I held for her.

I was tense the entire lesson. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and I couldn't figure out why. I chalked it up to the talk I was going to have to have with Bella tonight. I was going to have to come clean about a lot of different things, it was going to be a rough night.

As we neared the end of the lesson Tanya's demeanor changed completely. I knew better than to fall for the ruse, but I was so worked up and so worried that I took any olive branch I could find.

"You know, Edward, I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting. I really should have taken your wants into consideration." She seemed so fucking sincere, but I didn't want to believe her.

"Just drop it okay. Leave Bella alone, she has no clue about our lifestyle. I'm already going to have a hard enough time with her." I didn't know why in the hell I was telling Tanya this, of all people, but I was about to explode.

She was quiet for a moment before she made an unusual request. "You seemed so happy and relaxed when I walked in here. In fact, every time I get here I watch you from outside for a few minutes."

I looked up and watched her closely, wondering what she was going to say next. "And?"

"And… I can always hear the faint strains of a melody when you're in here. It's always the same song. It's beautiful." Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

I suddenly felt self conscious about Tanya hearing such an intimate piece of me. Something I had intended for Bella. "It's nothing."

"But don't you see? It's not nothing. It's wonderful, brilliant even. It's one of the most amazing things I've ever heard." Her excitement was rolling off her in waves. "I was just wondering… well, since I've never really heard it entirely…" she trailed off suggestively and I wanted to deny her. I wanted to tell her no, but she was right, it did make me relaxed and happy.

Without another word I started playing the opening bars of Bella's lullaby. Within moments, I was lost in the music and no longer remembered that Tanya was even in the room with me. The image of Bella popped into my mind and I smiled. She was so stunningly beautiful and she didn't even know it. I would have to make sure to tell her that every single day I could.

I lost track of everything as I played, all that mattered to me at the moment was Bella. I could faintly feel a hand on my arm but none of that mattered. I was playing my heart out for Bella. Soon, when the song was finished I would bring her here to the practice rooms. Actually, I would take her to the one with the grand piano and I would play for her. I wanted her to hear what she inspired in me. I wanted to share it with her.

A loud thump brought me out of my trance and I spun around to find Bella on the other side of the door. What was she doing here? Why did she look so upset? I noticed her attention shift and I followed her gaze and remembered Tanya.

_Oh shit._

It was obvious that Bella got the wrong impression. Her eyes were locked on Tanya and I could see the tears gathering in her eyes. I had to explain this to her. It was nothing like it looked. She was horribly mistaken.

I rose to my feet quickly, the bench teetering precariously in my haste. Bella's eyes shot back to me and I stumbled toward her, begging her with my eyes to believe me. My heart was hammering in my chest and I cursed fate for doing this to me. They couldn't take her from me now, they just couldn't. It wasn't fair.

"Bella," I mouthed, not even sure I was able to make any sound just yet. In that moment my world stopped. Bella turned on her foot and fled from me. I raced after her, desperate to catch her, screaming for her to please stop. Nothing I did mattered though. Bella was gone. I was shattered.

* * *

**Author's Note: First, I'd like to apologize for this update taking so long. There are a multitude of different reasons, like email and internet issues to spending a week so ill I was bedridden… lack of a muse would be the best one though. It's hard for me sometimes to convey my feelings into words. I know where the story needs to go and I know some of the stops along the way, but sometimes I don't know how to express it, which is funny considering I talk enough for 15 people. No lie.**

**Secondly, I'd like to thank whoever it was that nominated me for the Indie Twific Awards. That just made me so damn giddy. The thought that someone thinks my work is good enough for an award is incredibly humbling. So thank you to whoever you are, and to all of you that voted.**

**And lastly, a big thanks to my mastah beta, Jen, and the preview team: Joy, Kelly, Amanda, and Jessica. Y'all ladies are the best. You really helped get this chapter where it needed to be. I owe you ladies… bunches. And I love you all, so very dearly.**

**Now that I've talked your ear off over stupid shit in my life, please hit that little button and tell me what you thought. :)**

**xoxo**

**Nan**


	17. Penalties for High Sticking?

**Disclaimer: Still not mine… **

"_When women are depressed, they eat or go __shopping__. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking." ~Elayne Boosler_

_**Chapter Fifteen – Penalties for High Sticking?**_

**BPOV**

I ran as fast and as hard as I could. I just had to get away. The pain of the last few weeks only turning out to be lies was tearing at my soul, breaking my heart into pieces. Part of me wanted to go back to my room and burrow under the covers while I licked my wounds, but I didn't want him showing up there.

I had to go somewhere else. Somewhere he wouldn't think to look for me. Or somewhere that he wouldn't think he'd find me. The idea struck and I slightly changed course and raced back to the library.

I dug my ID out of my bag as I ran, hoping that someone would still be there. When I rounded the last corner, I could see Mrs. Cope's car was gone, but there was a guy sitting on the front steps smoking a cigarette. He was wearing a maintenance uniform and I imagined he was on the crew fixing the water main break.

I stopped in front of him, my breath panting in and out, partially from my exertion but mostly from my crying. My hands were on my knees and my head was hanging limply in front of me. I just needed to catch my breath.

After a moment, I shakily held out my hand and showed him my ID. "I forgot something inside, may I please go in?"

He looked back and forth for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "No skin off mine. But don't go flushing all kinds of toilets and turning on the sinks. The water's shut off in this building. If there's any funny business, I'll remember you." Then he went back to his cigarette and pretended I wasn't there.

I ran up the steps and into the only shelter I had ever known. If I was stressed out about a test, I always went to the library. When Charlie was particularly down about Renee and wanted solitude, I went to the library. And when I felt alone in the small pond of people I'd gone to school with, I went to the library.

I figured if I was going to get away with this, I would need to find somewhere to hide. I went to the second level study areas and picked the very far back cubicle. I collapsed into the chair and buried my face in my arms on the desk. The dam broke again and the tears came forward.

All that time I thought I had been special. He had actually spent time with me, talked to me, and laughed with me. I felt betrayed, and oh so broken. I briefly wondered if Edward had been sexually active with that girl. Was that the reason he was with her like that? Because I hadn't had sex with him yet?

I thought back to all of the time we had spent together. Not one of those times had Edward tried to push me further in our relationship. Anytime we were alone, he made sure we were still in a public place. That couldn't have been the reason. But who knew?

My heart was being squeezed in my chest as I sat there crying, wondering what was going on in my life. This was why I hadn't wanted to get involved with anyone. There was too much pain associated with love.

To think I actually wondered if I might be falling in love with Edward. Or imagining that I could be in love with him someday. All of that felt silly now. A pipedream thought up by a silly little girl. Lazy Sunday mornings with breakfast in bed. Candlelit dinners al fresco when it was nice. Romance at its finest.

I guess I wouldn't be getting any of that now. This is what I got for wishing. Nothing good ever came from putting all of you into another person. There really was no one out there that you could trust implicitly. You always needed to look out for you first. At least when it came to relationships.

I lost track of time while I sat there in the library and cried. No one came looking for me, no one that could find me at least. The man truly had forgotten about me and there was some relief in that. I could sit here as long as I wanted to.

Some part deep down told me that I should at least call Alice and let her know where I was, but I didn't want Edward to find out in any way. I didn't think I could face him right now. I knew I would have to at some point, but now was not the time.

I curled up as much as I could and continued to rock myself. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing I knew, Mrs. Cope was gently shaking me awake.

"Bella, dear. Is everything okay?" Her eyes were sympathetic, like she knew why I had spent the night here in the library.

I could feel my stinging eyes welling up with tears once more. It seemed I would never be finished shedding tears over the likes of Edward Cullen.

"I'm fine. Or I will be. I'm sorry for coming back here after it was closed." I didn't want to get in trouble either. I didn't know how she would react to me sleeping there.

Her motherly face settled into a soft smile. "I'm sure it was necessary. Now let's get you up so you can get back to your room. Your roommates must be beside themselves with worry." She really was fantastic. She could sense that I didn't want a fuss made and I certainly didn't want to talk about why I was here.

"Yes ma'am." I gratefully pulled myself together and made my way into the morning sunshine. I walked the few blocks back to my dorm quickly, not wanting to be stopped along the way.

I crossed my fingers when I made it to the dorm and raced up the stairs as quickly as I could. With my key in hand, I dashed down the hall and quickly darted into my room. Alice and Rosalie were huddled on the couch together, both of them asleep.

The sight of my two friends waiting for me on the couch brought the traitorous tears back. Who knew Rose cared that much? Maybe she wasn't so bad after all. At least she was opening up to me. I walked over and crouched in front of them, reaching out a hand to brush over their intertwined ones.

They both jolted at the contact with my cold hand and their eyes flew open, both gazes falling on my face. Shock ran over their faces before I was assaulted by both, the three of us landing in a heap on the floor. Rosalie clung to me while Alice chattered away.

"Bella! Oh my God, Bella! We were so worried about you. Where have you been? What's going on? No one knew where you were or how to find you. We must have scoured the entire campus before Edward would let us come back here to wait." She kept chattering away, not giving me a chance to answer any of it.

"He was devastated Bella. He's beside himself with worry and worked himself up into quite a panic. I've never seen someone lose control so completely as when we couldn't find you. He was ready to start calling the police or the hospitals. I don't think he slept all night, running up here to check if you'd come back and leaving again immediately to search the whole campus again."

I thanked whatever gods had allowed me the peace of making it home without the confrontation of Edward. I knew now that it wasn't something I was strong enough to handle right now. So I just gathered my friends to me and we held each other while I told them what happened the night before.

They both kept exchanging glances over my head while I was telling them about Tanya and neither one of them seemed to want to tell me what was going on. I couldn't find it in me to care though, all I wanted to do was go in my room and hide away from the world.

I asked them once again to bar Edward from the room. Neither of them asked questions, they both just agreed. Once that was ensured, I made my way to the bedroom and crawled under my covers. I contemplated skipping my classes for the day. Nothing new was being covered but I couldn't feel justified skipping my class.

In the end, I decided to go ahead and go to class. I couldn't hide from my problems forever. Might as well face them head on. First, I needed to take a quick nap. All of the excitement from the night before was catching up to me and I was feeling pretty worn out.

When I closed my eyes, I dreamt of Edward. He was with that girl again, but this time they were dancing and he was kissing her. Or wait… he wasn't kissing her. She was kissing him, and he was trying to push her away. My heart was racing as I saw him finally break away from her and turn to frantically search the crowd.

His eyes locked on mine and the look in them took my breath away. There was such hunger in his eyes, and it was for me. My dream Edward didn't want the pretty girl with the beautiful strawberry blonde hair. My dream Edward wanted me.

He stopped in front of me and traced his finger over my face. When I turned my face into his palm, he cupped my cheek and stroked it. He was so gentle and tender with me. He brushed my hair out of my face and stared deep into my eyes. A sad smile touched his lips before he turned and started making his way back through the crowd.

I heard his name escape through my parted lips. Why was he leaving? Was I pushing him away too? He stopped and turned back toward me. As he made his way back, I spoke his name again. Just his name. One word. "Edward." A look of determination crossed his face and then he was gone.

I ran through the crowd, searching for him everywhere. He was nowhere to be found. I woke with a start, looking around the room, seeking Edward. My dreams were traitorous now too. They were trying to convince me he wanted me. It was too bad they were wrong.

* * *

Wednesday passed in much the same fashion as it always had, with the exception of Edward not being there. When I turned my phone back on, I had missed dozens and dozens of calls from him. Actually, everyone had been trying to call me. I felt bad for making everyone worry, but there was nothing that could be done about that now.

I deleted his messages without reading them. I didn't want an explanation; I just wanted to be done with him. I was so grateful by the end of the day that other than some text messages and an ignored phone call or two, Edward was keeping his distance. But that didn't help my dreams on Wednesday night.

Once again my dream Edward would search for me. When he found me he would treat me with the most gentle affection, then he would walk away. It was driving me mad. I didn't want him, but I craved him. I hoped this too would pass.

On Thursday, I made my way to our shared class with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I had managed, thus far, to not have any face to face contact with him. While it had been fairly difficult to handle rejecting his calls and texts, I knew it would be nearly impossible to ignore him up close and personal. I would have to stay strong.

The classroom was nearly empty when I took my seat. With only a couple minutes before the start of class and no Edward, I thought I would get lucky. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind than a familiar head of bronze hair rushed into the room. He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes zeroed in on mine. Neither of us moved or breathed, both of us terrified of what was to come.

He made his way across the room slowly and stopped right next to me. He stared for a moment before plopping himself down and trying to gain my attention.

"Bella…" his voice was scratchy, like he hadn't been using it much. "I really need to talk to you after…"

I didn't let him say anything else. I grabbed my book and my bag and made my way to a new seat. One closer to the door. Once I had myself resituated, I glanced over and noticed the hurt flash over his face. It made me feel petty, but I wasn't ready for this yet. I was afraid I would just jump in his arms without asking for an apology.

Thankfully, Edward kept his distance and once class was finished, I ran out of there as fast as I could. I managed to make it back to the room before I broke down once more. Why did I ever think I could get through a day seeing him without touching him? Why had I let myself get so attached?

I hurt everywhere. I was supposed to be having coffee with Edward right now. Or lunch. We were supposed to be laughing about something that had happened to us. We should be discussing the book we were reading in our class. There shouldn't be this weirdness, this isolation.

Work that night was difficult too. An hour before close I started watching the door, waiting for Edward to come in with my coffee, but he didn't show. I didn't know whether I was relieved or hurt. And then that made me feel fickle. Hadn't I said I wanted him to stay away from me? Now I wasn't so sure.

After clocking out, I gathered my things and made my way out of the building. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Edward sitting on the wall across from me. His head was down and his shoulders were slumped. The wind, which had started to pick up as the season got colder, blew his hair into a riotous disarray. I must have gasped or made some other noise because his head shot up and his eyes burned into mine.

He hopped off the wall and stalked toward me. I felt cornered and was ready to spit and claw at him when he stopped five feet in front of me. He sighed and looked down at the ground again. When his eyes met mine again, the storm in them was calming.

"I promise I won't touch you, or even talk to you if you don't want me to. I just need to make sure you get home okay. I can't handle another night like the other night."

I swallowed the lump in my throat before nodding and making my way past him. I hadn't really believed when Alice and Rose said he was frightened the other night. Didn't think he really cared, but I could see the panic and the terror in his eyes tonight. It was just a reflection of what he must have gone through and it made me feel bad that I had caused that inadvertently.

As I walked back toward my dorm, I was hyper-aware of Edward's proximity. As promised, he wasn't close enough to touch me, but he was close enough behind me that I could feel the pull of his body to mine. The current was still sparking away between us, and that terrified me.

I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head. Watching me like a hawk. I wanted so badly to relieve the tension between us somehow, but I didn't know how to approach it. I was still deeply hurt and wasn't ready to talk to him yet. So I walked in silence.

When we got to our floor I was afraid of what was going to happen next. Was he going to walk me to my door? Was he going to try to kiss me? Would I stop him? As I started past the corner, I felt him breeze past me quickly and saw him heading down the hall toward his room. I thought I heard a faint, "I love you," but I brushed it off.

My skin was still humming from being so close to him and I just needed to escape everything. The girls had been giving me my space. Ever since we had sat down and hashed the whole night out. They told me about the piano lessons and about Royce and about everything Edward had been keeping from me.

Part of me was hurt that he hadn't told me sooner and relieved that it was all a misunderstanding. The other part of me was skeptical. I had seen the way she was leaning over him. I saw the look on his face when he was playing the piano. He had never shared that with me, and I was oddly hurt by that. Of course as her teacher, he would show her how she was supposed to play, but this piece seemed more intimate than something a teacher would normally play for a student.

I told myself I was being ridiculous, but that didn't stop it from continuing. For the rest of the weekend I locked myself in my room, away from Edward. Monday none of the three of us had classes, so we sat around talking again. They had decided that I needed to come out of my funk. It was time to stop moping in my bed.

There was some girly movie on television that I wasn't watching. Instead, I was listening intently to what Alice and Rose were telling me. I wasn't ready to talk about the situation with Edward and Tanya yet, and when I _was_ ready, it was something I needed to discuss with him. But I did want to hear all about what the guys had to say about Royce.

They had all come clean, telling the girls of the rumors they had heard. Of course, they said there was no way to prove anything, but they wanted to pass along the warning. They also asked that Rose not mention it to Royce. It all sounded so far-fetched, like a last ditch effort to make the group whole, but it felt like the truth.

Rose was surprisingly close-mouthed about it. She promised she would be careful, but she said she had seen no indication or predilection for violence in him. It wasn't that she outright didn't believe the guys; she was just trying to be fair to Royce too. She justified that since they were rumors, they may have been blown out of proportion.

I had a bad feeling about it all, but I brushed it aside. I didn't want to dwell on what could be. If Rose said she was going to be careful, I had to believe her. That didn't mean that I wouldn't try to keep an eye open though. That's what friends did, right? And whether or not we wanted to admit it, Rose and I were slowly becoming friends.

On Tuesday morning when I woke up, I debated once more skipping class. I knew I would have to talk to Edward sooner or later; I was just opting for later. I decided that it wouldn't hurt me much to skip one class, especially since I still needed to pack for my trip home tomorrow. The cab was already scheduled; I just needed to be ready when it came to get me to take me to the airport.

Once the girls had gone to class, I pulled everything out from under my bed again. My duffel bag was way in the back and I had to partially crawl under the bed to reach it. Jake's hockey stick was poking me in the side, so I put it on top of the bed.

Once I got it out, I put it on the bed as well and started pulling out clothes that I would be taking home. Charlie was going to flip when he saw some of the things Alice had purchased for me. I wondered briefly how much I had changed since leaving Forks a few months ago.

When I was nearly done packing my duffel, I heard the outer door open and close. The voices were muffled, but I could tell one of them was Rosalie. I didn't want to get caught in the room, but at the same time I couldn't exactly leave right now, so I decided to wait it out.

After a moment I heard the voices, raised in anger.

"I said 'no' Royce." I could hear her anger. I imagined she had her hands on her hips.

"And I said I'm tired of putting forth all of this effort and getting nothing in return. Do you know how many girls would love to be wined and dined by me? Plenty. So how about a little less arguing and a lot more action?" Royce. The bastard. He was trying to coerce Rose into sleeping with him. Swine.

"You conceited asshole. I am not a fucking whore!" Rosalie was screeching now. I was wondering if I should go out there now and try to diffuse this situation. Then I heard a crashing noise and Rose was yelling 'no' over and over. I heard a muffled 'get off me' before I heard the sound of fabric ripping.

That was the last coherent thought that went through my head. Royce had Rose pinned down and was ripping her clothes off. I had heard her say no. I turned and looked around the room for anything I could use as a weapon. My eyes fell on my bed and I sent up a silent prayer that Jake would forgive me.

The hockey stick felt awkward in my hands. I had no idea how I was supposed to even hold it. I decided on holding it over my head so I could slash down for maximum damage.

I quietly opened the door and peeked out into the common area. Royce did indeed have Rose pinned on the couch and she was silently crying. I prayed that I wasn't too late and rushed the room. Of course, being me, I stumbled and alerted Royce to my presence. He jumped up off the couch and swung around toward me, ready for me. I had lost the element of surprise.

When he came toward me, I tried to swing at him, but my fear was nearly incapacitating me. All of the momentum I had worked up was gone and I was seriously afraid. Royce's eyes were wild and I knew in that moment he had no intention of leaving witnesses, at least not talking ones. He grabbed the hockey stick and tried to jerk it out of my hands and instinct took over. He was vulnerable for one brief shining moment and I took my chance. I brought my knee up as hard as I could, right between his legs.

Shock crossed his face before he let go of the stick and grabbed himself, falling to his knees in the process. He was kneeled before me, like I was his executioner and the power in that brought my courage back. I raised the stick up over my head once more, swinging down with all my might. The hockey stick hit Royce across the back of his shoulders and shattered. Royce arched back once sharply in pain before he was unconscious, falling back on top of Rose.

I threw down the hockey stick with shaking hands and grabbed the back of his shirt to roll him off of Rose. She was trembling beneath him, still silently crying. She had a dark bruise forming over the right side of her face.

I gathered Rose into my side and half dragged, half carried her away from Royce's crumpled form. I grabbed the phone from its cradle and dialed campus police while I held the shaking Rose in my arms. I quickly described the situation to the operator and hung up, waiting for them to come and take him away.

Rose's soft voice broke the silence. "They were right. They tried to warn me and I didn't believe them. I'm sorry, Bella."

"Shh, Rose. None of this is your fault. I heard you tell him no." I was rocking her back and forth, trying my best to calm her down.

I ran my hands up and down her arms. I wanted to go and get her something to cover herself back up with, but I was afraid to leave her alone there. Instead, I wrapped my arms more fully around her and held her as close to my body as I could.

Campus police came and escorted Royce away. They stayed to question Rose and myself, and the whole time I continued to hold her and rock her. Her voice sounded so tired, and while I knew she hadn't been sexually violated, she still felt unclean and unsafe.

Alice came tearing in the room shortly after Royce had been taken away. Apparently the entire campus had heard about what happened even though the details were a little fuzzy. All I knew was that my days of anonymity were over. Now everyone would know who Bella Swan was. I looked down at Rose, who was openly clinging to me, and knew that it was worth it. She was worth it. My friend, a best friend.

**EPOV**

As soon as I made a move to go after Bella, Tanya threw herself in my direction.

"Oh! Edward, I'm so sorry! I didn't know she was out there." She was batting her eyes at me, trying her best to look innocent. I wasn't buying it. I didn't know how she did it, but somehow she had orchestrated this whole thing.

Whether or not Tanya thought she could stop me from going after Bella, she had certainly given Bella the means for escape. By the time I had shoved Tanya aside and made my way out of the building, Bella was long gone.

I ran anyway, ran to anywhere I thought I might find her. I ran to the dorm, racing up the stairs, and pounding on her door. I was desperate to see her, to explain to her. I needed to tell her everything.

A very annoyed Rose opened the door. "Can I help you?" Her perfectly sculpted brow raised into her hairline.

"I need Bella." No truer words had ever been spoken. I did need Bella. Down to my soul, I needed Bella.

"Bella's not here, loverboy. She works at the library tonight. I thought you knew that." She was trying to dismiss me, and while I knew what she was saying was true, I also knew that I had just seen Bella at the Hopkins Center when she should have been working at the library.

Either way, it was possible that Bella could have gone back to the library. Without another word, I ran back down the hallway and out into the night air. My bag slapped against my hip as I ran, but I didn't care. I just needed to get to Bella.

The library came into sight and I stopped for a moment in confusion. The normally brightly lit building only had its exterior lights on. I made my way up the path and up the few steps that led to the door. There was a note taped to the glass.

LIBRARY CLOSED DUE

TO WATER MAIN BREAK

MANAGEMENT

It wasn't likely Bella was inside. The doors were locked. I gave them a quick shake anyway, hoping maybe I'd luck out. When they didn't budge, I wondered where else she might have gone.

I ran to the coffee shop, almost certain that I would walk in and see her sitting at our table. She wasn't there either. I ran through the entire campus, yelling for her, looking everywhere I could think of, just urgently trying to find my Bella.

When I had looked everywhere, I ran back to her dorm, hoping against hope that she would be safe in her room. I found Emmett and Jasper there holding a very worried looking Rose and Alice. I knew it wasn't going to be good news.

"She hasn't been back. I called the library but they're closed, Edward. Where could she be?" Alice's soft voice penetrated through the haze that was settling over my brain. Bella was missing.

The guys were shooting me worried glances, not sure how I would handle this. Honestly, I wasn't sure how I was handling it either. At this point, I was fairly numb. Nothing was getting through. My body was in shock at the fact that Bella was missing. My beautiful, innocent, sweet Bella was out there somewhere, and no one knew how to find her.

I jumped to my feet, startling everyone. "What about her cell phone? Have you tried calling her cell phone?" I was frantically trying to think of some way to get a hold of her, to make sure she was okay.

Rose's eyes met mine and I could see the panic creeping in. "We tried that Edward. For a little while it would ring before going to voicemail. Now it's going straight to voicemail."

No one wanted to voice the concern of whether she had shut her phone off on her own or not, especially not me. It was, however, in the forefront of everyone's mind. You could see it written on all of their faces. They all thought Bella might have been taken.

I paced around the room, yanking at my hair. I was trying to come up with ideas. Anything we could do to find her. At some point, I demanded everyone go out around campus in vehicles to look for any sign of Bella.

We checked in with each other at regular intervals, but no one had found anything that led to Bella. By 3 AM I was frantic. We had convened back in their room, praying she had come home while we were out, but she hadn't. There was still no sign of Bella.

I suggested calling the police, or calling the hospitals. No one thought that idea had any merit. I wasn't so sure. I'd seen Bella in action, and the girl was clumsy. I decided that I'd call them on my own when I was out driving. Maybe I'd get lucky there instead.

The girls were both on edge and getting tired, which made them bitchy. They wanted to wait at the dorm, in case Bella came home. I couldn't fault them for their logic, but I wanted to rage that Bella was out there somewhere. We needed to find her.

I still called her cell phone like clockwork, hoping she would turn it back on. So far that hadn't happened either. I made my way back outside and began my drive around the campus again. I went down every single street, not even knowing what the hell to really look for. I was praying for a miracle.

Everything was dark by now and I couldn't see anything outside of the beam of my headlight. I knew it was fruitless to continue searching, but I couldn't allow myself to stop. What if I turned the next corner and saw her on the side of the street, in need of a ride? I couldn't write off that chance. She was out here somewhere.

I tried to focus on something else other than the fear that was coursing through me. I remembered the first time I saw her, sprawled beneath me in a stairwell, her hair fanning out everywhere enveloping us both. I thought about her blush and the way it would creep along her skin and stain her features.

I thought about the way her lips moved with mine when I kissed her. The way her body felt under my hands. Everything about her was so perfect and appealing. She had no idea the draw she had. And now there was the possibility that someone out there was taking advantage of the girl I loved.

I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers and calmed my breathing. I focused on Bella again and let the images wash over me. Her laughter, reaching deep down into me and touching my soul. The way her eyes would light up when she really smiled. The hint of mischief that lurked there.

I closed my eyes and willed the images to come. Her glasses slipping down the bridge of her nose while she was studying. Her hair falling over her shoulder, begging for my hands to get lost in it. The little line that would appear between her eyes when she was concentrating. Image after image bombarded my brain.

The dreamy look that would come over her face when she was reading one of her favorites. The fierce look of determination she'd get when someone was teasing her. But mostly, I thought about her voice. I could hear her voice, whispering in my ear. My name, spilling from her lips over and over. Oh God, what would I do without her?

My phone chirped, alerting me to a new message. I opened my eyes and noticed that the sky had lightened. I didn't know how long I had wasted, dreaming in my car of Bella. Glancing at the clock I noticed it was 7:30. I flipped my phone open and saw a text from Alice. My heart was pounding in my ears and I was scared to open it.

Cursing myself for being ten different kinds of a fool, I pushed the button and her words popped on the screen:

_She's home. ~A_

And suddenly all was right in my world again. Even if she was mad at me and wouldn't talk to me, I knew my angel was okay. She was home, and that's all that mattered right now. I sent a quick thanks in reply and laid my head against my steering wheel. I felt my eyes welling up and clenched my hands into fists. I couldn't believe the girl had brought me to tears.

It wasn't that I didn't trust Alice, I did. I just wanted to see for myself that Bella was okay. I knew it was risky, but it was a chance I was willing to take. I pointed my car back in the direction of home and took off like a shot. I wanted to see Bella.

When I got to their room, both Alice and Rose looked pretty haggard, but their smiles softened when they saw me. I could see the apology on both of their faces and I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere. That didn't stop me from trying.

"I just need to see her. I just need to see that she's okay."

Rose glanced over her shoulder before he voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't know if that's such a good idea right now, Edward. She had a pretty rough night."

A million different scenarios ran through my head at that. What could she have gone through last night? I was working myself into a panic again before Rose placed a hand on my arm.

"She's not hurt, Edward. Not physically at least. She's just a little broken right now and needs some time to herself."

I knew she was being reasonable, but I didn't feel very reasonable at the moment. I needed to hit something, to punch it and pummel it. I needed to vent my useless rage against something.

"What about how I feel, Rose? Doesn't that matter? I spent all night imagining her tied up somewhere and not able to get help! Doesn't that entitle me to at least fucking _see_ that she's unharmed?"

Both Alice and Rose gasped and stepped back from the anger that was pouring off of me.

Alice reached forward and slowly drew me into the room. "I know, Edward. But you have to think of how seeing you with Tanya might have looked to Bella. I'm not saying you were doing anything wrong, I'm just saying you have to look at her perspective."

I opened my mouth to speak again, but she bowled me over. "She's sleeping right now. I'll let you peek in on her, even though she begged us not to, just so you can see she's fine. But I swear to God, Edward, if you wake her up or do anything to upset her, I'll rip you apart myself."

I was grateful to the little pixie. More grateful than I'd ever been for anything else in my life. Without a word, I made my way over to the bedroom door and quietly let myself in. Soft sunlight filtered into the room and a few rays highlighted Bella's sleeping form. I silently made my way across the room and crouched down next to her bed, taking in her tired face.

She had dark circles under her eyes, indicating a restless night. I could sympathize with her there. Her dark lashes kissed her cheekbones and I couldn't resist reaching out to touch. She sighed when my finger made contact with her skin and she turned her face into my hand. I cupped her cheek and brushed any wayward hair out of the way.

I could feel her breath fanning across my skin and nothing had ever felt better. I wanted to gather her into my arms, but that wouldn't do. Instead, I just sat and watched her for a few minutes. When I figured I'd pushed my luck, I gained my feet and made my way back to the door. Then she spoke my name.

I turned on my heel, ready to justify being in her room, ready to beg her to take me back, but she was still sleeping. She curled up a little tighter and whimpered. I walked back over again just in time to hear it again. "Edward." Her voice was soft and my name was said on a sigh.

I couldn't stop the smile that touched my lips. Bella talked in her sleep. Bella was talking about _me_ in her sleep. Surely that had to count for something. If she was dreaming about me, I could work with that. I just needed to give her time. As much as it killed me, I would need to do that too.

I made my way out of their room, nodded thanks to both Alice and Rose, and made my way back to my room. Exhaustion was creeping in, but I was afraid to close my eyes. Now that I knew she was safe, my imagination was going wild with what could have happened. None of it was pleasant. All of it was grim.

Restless sleep finally overtook me and I dreamed of Bella, gone. I skipped classes for the day. I couldn't handle being around people just yet; I needed to get myself in order. I had been so afraid the night before, afraid that something had happened to Bella. I knew now that I couldn't handle life without her. I would do whatever needed to be done to win her back.

Apparently she wanted her space for now. At least that's the message she was sending by not answering my calls or my text messages. I held my phone all night, willing it to ring or chirp at me. I went to bed disappointed.

Thursday, I approached our class with nervous apprehension. I knew she probably wouldn't talk to me. I wasn't delusional enough to think she was ready for that yet, but I had to see her. I needed to be near her. I stood in the hallway outside of the classroom, running my hands through my hair.

Finally, when I couldn't wait any longer, I walked in the room. My eyes immediately fell on Bella. She was watching me, a wary look in her eye. I was frozen in place. My body was craving her nearness so badly though, I couldn't hold out. I made my way over and sat next to her. Really, I was planning on giving her the distance she wanted, but my heart had other ideas.

"Bella…" my throat and mouth were dry from disuse. I hadn't had anything to say to anyone since she had come back. "I really need to talk to you after…"

Before I could finish the statement, she had gathered her things and moved across the room to sit by the door. I felt the pain of rejection wash over me. She didn't want me anymore. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I sat through the lesson and didn't bother her once, even if I did stare at her when she wasn't looking. She looked so tired, I wanted to gather her up and rock her to sleep. But she would never allow that, certainly not now.

After class I followed her back to the dorm, from a safe distance of course. I didn't want her to think I was stalking her, even if I was. As soon as she was safe in her room, I went to mine and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was missing our routine. Missing the way we would have lunch after class, sitting and talking. I wanted to go down and pound on her door and demand her presence, but that wouldn't solve anything.

I looked at the clock and realized I would have to be leaving soon for my lesson with Tanya. Suddenly, I didn't have any desire at all to play. Bella had become my muse, and without her, I had no soul. How can you put your heart into the music if you no longer have a soul? I figured it served Tanya right though. I'd be as unpleasant to her as I possibly could.

With a new determination, I made my way down to the Hopkins Center. I sat in the room, waiting for Tanya. I did not play. When she arrived, I began barking out orders and berating her for her lack of progress. Was she not practicing? Did she think this was a game? I had better things to do with my time than waste it on someone with no desire to learn.

For an hour I hounded her. I criticized her posture, I ridiculed her hands, and I overall made as big of an ass out of myself as I could. When the lesson was over, she fled from the room with tears in her eyes. Good.

Since I had no desire to play anymore, I skipped my private practice time and went down to the coffee shop. Garrett, the barista, smiled at me when I walked in.

"Ain't cha a little early, boy-o?" Since Bella and I frequented this place, Garrett had come to know our habits and coffee preferences.

"I lost my muse," I said, solemnly. His eyes scanned mine as he began preparing my drink.

"Perhaps you ain't lookin in the right place. Or maybe it ain't actually gone and you just got yer head up yer ass." He handed me my usual, with a wink, and sauntered away.

I sat in the corner and pondered what he said. Crazy old man might have a point. I'd have to let Bella know I had no intention of staying completely away from her.

At 5 til 8, I made my way over to the library. Even if she wouldn't talk to me, I had to make certain she made it back to her room okay. I couldn't handle another night with her missing. That would break me.

I sat on the wall across from the entrance and waited. I didn't have long to wait. Nearly right on the dot, Bella emerged from the library. I felt her presence as I sat there, staring at the walk in front of me. I looked up and took her in. She had a heavier jacket on and a scarf was wrapped lazily around her neck. Her messenger bag was slung across her shoulders. She was perfection.

I stood and walked toward her. I couldn't help the predatory gleam in my eye. She was mine and I had every intention of keeping her. Her back went up and I could see the claws coming out. Now wasn't the time to have her hissing and spitting at me though. Now was the time to let her know I was persistent.

I stopped a few feet away and gave her the most honest statement I had ever given anyone. "I promise I won't touch you, or even talk to you if you don't want me to. I just need to make sure you get home okay. I can't handle another night like the other night."

That seemed to do the trick. She walked past me and made her way toward the dorms. I followed right behind, staring at her the entire way. I couldn't stop myself. I was afraid she would vanish if I so much as blinked.

When we finally made it to our floor, I was almost delirious. Having her so close and not being able to touch her was wreaking havoc on my nerves. I wanted to sweep her up and confess my undying love. I wanted to lavish her with all the love and attention she deserved. But she wanted distance. I would have to suppress my emotions for a bit longer.

When she started past my turn, I nearly wept in gratitude. Holding it all in was nearly painful. I brushed by her as quickly as I could because I could feel the dam breaking. Before I could get far enough away though, a whispered 'I love you' escaped.

Every day after that was pure hell. She was avoiding me, and according to Jasper, she had moped in her room all weekend. My guilt knew no bounds. I had broken her. On Tuesday I had hoped to see her in class, but she still wasn't coming out of her room apparently.

I sat through that English class and wondered what she was doing. I wondered how long she was staying with her dad, and what time her flight was supposed to be leaving tomorrow. I had desperately wanted to talk to her about her Thanksgiving plans, but I still was ashamed to tell her about my dysfunctional life. I vowed to change that too. I would stop hiding things from Bella altogether. Honesty would be a new priority for me.

When class was dismissed, I made my way out of the building. Everyone was buzzing about some big news. I could hear snippets of conversations here and there, but tried my best to just make it through the crowd. That was until a name stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Yeah, well I heard some girl named Bella beat the hell out of him before he raped her. That Rose is lucky her roommate skipped class."

All the blood rushed from my face. What in the hell had happened? I spun around to confront the people I had just heard, but lost them in the crowd. Everything else ceased to matter. All I knew was that once again, Bella was in some kind of danger. Not that she really had been in danger last week, but we hadn't known that at the time. This time, however, she really was involved in something.

As I ran I heard more and more people talking. They were all talking about the same thing. Bella Swan. I laughed at the irony of it. The small-town girl that craved her solitude had just become a campus celebrity in mere moments.

I saw Alice with Jasper and rushed forward, pushing through the crowd around our building.

"What the hell is going on?" I shouted above the noise.

Alice was clinging to Jasper, who was methodically working his way toward the door. "We're not entirely sure," he replied. "Campus Police just left a few minutes ago with Royce. He was cuffed and looked pretty dazed."

I could feel the ice burning through my veins. If he had laid one hand on Bella, I would tear him to shreds. Jasper continued while I suffered through not knowing how she was.

"Alice called ahead, Bella and Rose are fine. Rose is a little shaken up, but overall everyone is just grateful Bella happened to be home. There was something about a hockey stick too, but the details are a little vague."

We pushed our way into the building and raced up the stairs. Alice rushed into the room, but Jasper and I were stopped. We were told that Rose needed a little space right now and we should probably leave her be for awhile. I glanced in the open door and felt everything settle once more. Bella was propped up against the opposite wall. She was looking down at Rosalie. They were holding each other. She was okay.

**Gianna's PoV**

Tanya had been my best friend since I could remember. Our mothers were close, so we often found ourselves stuck with each other. It was plainly obvious who the prettier and more popular of the two of us was. Tanya would always win in that regard. I felt lucky to be in her shadow.

When we were in Jr. High, she gave me my first assignment. I had to make sure it looked like Felix was cheating on a test. Simple really. A planted list of the answers and a call for the teacher's assistance while I was sitting next to him… piece of cake. Tanya had been happy when Felix was suspended for cheating. I guess he shouldn't have broken her heart.

Years later it was Demetri. He said he was done fucking Tanya. She said he wasn't. He should have listened. That ended badly for him. I was always willing to sacrifice myself for Tanya. Even if it meant letting that asshole paw all over me and then screaming rape. Demetri was still in jail for that. Like I said, he should have listened.

There were a lot of people that said I was crazy. They said that Tanya used me, that she only cared about herself. They were all jealous. I was best friends with Tanya McKinley and they weren't. Smart people knew that if you pissed her off I'd come after you. Unfortunately for this new girl, she didn't know enough to be smart.

When Tanya picked Dartmouth, her daddy got a hold of the entire list of male students that would be going there, their major, and their family history. She researched for weeks, trying to find the perfect man to take care of her. She deserved it. Beautiful girls like Tanya always get what they want.

Finally, she had made her selection. Edward Cullen didn't stand a chance. When Tanya said he would be hers, he had no idea what was in store for him. She had every intention of marrying him. And like I said, she gets what she wants.

Only a week into the start of school and Tanya came home from her piano practice looking really upset. Apparently Edward didn't know he was supposed to play along. He didn't know that no one said no to Tanya. It was a shame. The poor bastard was pretty cute, and I was upset to have to mar his pretty face.

Then she threw me for a loop. She wanted me to watch the girl, this Swan girl. Just watch, and then report my findings back to Tanya. So while I wasn't doing anything else, I followed Bella. She spent a lot of free time with Edward, and it made me angry to see her kissing him. Didn't she know he belonged to Tanya?

My rage burned through me with a white hot intensity. I wanted to hurt her, to maim her. No one took things away from my best friend. No one. But Tanya didn't say to touch her. She said to watch, so I did what Tanya told me to do. Imagine my surprise when I found her heading right for the Hopkins Center during Tanya's lesson. Perhaps I could use this to my advantage.

I quickly texted Tanya and let her know that Bella was apparently coming to look for her man. If Tanya was quick, she could easily thwart the girl. It didn't take long for the plan to pay off.

I watched as the girl came running out of the building, crying. I felt oddly pleased with myself. Tanya would be proud. I had done my part. Mission Accomplished.

* * *

**Author's Note:**** My heart breaks for both of them. Neither experienced enough with love to know how to move past this obstacle. I'm betting they'll be able to now.**

**An important thing to note – I went back to the prologue and changed Bella's age. When I initially started this story, I didn't realize how difficult it would be to write out six years time. Four years seemed so much more doable, so that's the reason for the change.**

**A big thanks goes out to the review team: Joy, Kelly, Lillie, Jessica, and Amanda. And another huge thanks to Jen for being my most wonderful beta. She rocks my socks. All of these ladies do.**

**Now, everyone should run off to read Maybe I'm Amazed by AliceDances01. It's amazing people. Edward and Bella work at a coffee shop together in high school. They go their separate ways, neither letting the other know how they really feel, and then they cross paths again in college. You won't be sorry, I promise.**

**Now, I want to apologize for not replying to reviews very quickly. I had some email fail and missed some of them, so if you left a review and I didn't reply… my sincere apologies. I read every one and appreciate all of the comments left for me. So please hit that little button down there and let me know what you thought!**

**xoxo**

**Nan**


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